Forgiving Nancy (Last Hangman MC, #5)(28)

“I think at some point I lost consciousness and I had no idea how much time had passed or how far we had traveled. When we finally stopped and I was dragged inside a huge house. I was terrified. I had no idea who these people were or what they wanted from me. We walked for a few minutes and went through a couple of doors. I remember thinking that my parents were behind all of it to scare me into obeying them but that wasn’t the case. When I was forced through the final door, the atmosphere changed, the place smelled homey and flowery which was confusing but reassuring at the same time. Once the binds and blindfold were removed, I was in for a shock. Stretched out in front of me was a long pink hallway lined with doors on either side, soft sensual music was playing overhead and a few guards were dispersed along the hallway to make sure the girls wouldn’t try to escape and also so the men didn’t stay longer than what they paid for.” I sigh and look down, feeling ashamed of what happened next.

“You were forced into prostitution?” Bennett asks with anger and sadness in his voice.

I nod. “They didn’t care that I was under age, their pimp used that to his advantage and f*cked me until I turned eighteen. The first day I was forced to f*ck other people, I had to f*ck three men during the day,” I say, disgust lacing my voice.

“Motherf*cker. I’m going to kill whoever did this with my f*cking bare hands,” Bennett bellows, moving me off of him and onto the couch before getting up and pacing the room.

“I shouldn’t have told you,” I say softly, more to myself than him.

“Don’t you dare say that, I’m glad you f*cking told me! Is there more?”

“Yes.”

“Fuck! Go on.” He stops pacing and sits on the coffee table in front of me, his gaze piercing me. His body tenses and his right knee bounces as he prepares himself for what I have to say next.

“Are you sure?” I look up at him and see the distress in his eyes and it breaks my heart.

“Yes. I need to know.”

“Alright.” I sigh and take another deep breath before continuing. “For a while I was just used in house. Men would come to me and I’d have to f*ck them. The pimp would rack up all the money and we’d never see a cent of it. We weren’t allowed to leave the hallway and if we did or tried to then we were beaten. Our so called ‘rooms’ were three by four cubicles with a door a bed and a nightstand filled with toys. Our clothes were given to us only when we needed them, and there were only two bathrooms for twenty of us to share. I wasn’t even the youngest one there. I felt violated and dirty and like I was being rap-”

“Because you f*cking were, Nancy!” He stands up, looking ready to hit something or somebody. I can feel the rage emanating from him but I carry on, needing to get it all out now.

“That’s how I felt and it took me a while to get to past the point where I didn’t care anymore and I started making the first move. In my mind, if I was the one making the move then I was in control and it wasn’t rape, so that’s what I did. I hated every single second of it, but I refused to be the victim anymore. I hated myself more and more at the end of each day but I had to do it to survive. You have no idea how hard it is to live with yourself when you know you are forced to do something you despise every day. It makes you feel physically sick and dirty. It made me want to end my life so many times.

“Things got worse after they decided to send us to the client’s house as well as having them visit us. That’s when the weird shit started to happen, but it brought in more money and that’s all they cared about. The first girl who was sent out on a home visit, as they like to call them, came back bloodied and bruised. The guy was into beating women but they didn’t care as long as it meant more money was coming in, soon after we were all sent out on home visits. I was always lucky but most of my ‘clients’ weren’t that way inclined, but some were into f*cked up shit.” I rub my face trying to rid myself of the memories, hating the fact that I have to relive this.

“Like what?” Bennett asks softly.

“Being choked, gagged, flogged, bondage stuff and shit like that. It was hard to keep going but I had to. I didn’t want my life to be over yet, I wanted to know what the future held for me. I could’ve killed myself so many times, but I chose not to.”

“Why? I mean I’m f*cking glad you didn’t, but how did you manage to make it out of there mentally and somewhat physically unscathed?”

“I’m damaged but I’m still here because of you.” I squeeze his hand

“Because of me?”

I nod. “Yes, thinking of you and the possibility that I might see you again gave me enough strength to keep going. Some days were harder than others but I managed. I can’t say the same for all of the girls though. There are only four girls left that were there when I first arrived. Some of the girls learn to enjoy it but some can’t handle it. Seeing new girls being brought in the rooms that were occupied the night before was common occurrence. We all knew what had happened. Most of the girls that committed suicide did it at their clients’ house because there was easier access to knives. It was also a final f*ck you because the client would have to live with the knowledge that someone killed themselves in their house because of their deprived tendencies.”

“What made you choose to escape?”

“I had been thinking about it. Doing what I was doing was slowly destroying me and I could barely recognize myself anymore. That wasn’t me, it wasn’t the Nancy I was supposed to be. I knew I had to give it a try when I was at a client’s house and I woke up yesterday knowing that that was the day I was going to do it. It was a do or die situation because the pimp kept threatening me. He kept telling me that I should be more outgoing and friendly with the men and that I should do as I was told, whatever I was told to do. You know me and my big mouth; besides for my parents, it’s impossible for me to shut up. I knew they were going to kill me sooner rather than later so I had to escape. I was going to try to find somewhere safe where I could call the cops but I ran into you and well, you know the rest.”