Forever Mine (Roommate Duet 0.5)(25)

I swear I see him blush, but he plays it off and shakes his head at me with an amused grin. “No, but that’s really good to know.”

Chuckling, I take a sip of my wine and study him over the glass. “Okay, then what’s my secret?”

“You lied to me, Sav.”

Setting my drink down, I furrow my brows and gaze at him. When I don’t respond, he continues.

“When you broke up with me,” he clarifies. “You said it was over because you met someone new and that we would never work out being long distance. You told me it was over and to forget you ever existed—which, of course, is fucking impossible—but that’s the story you stood by.” His tone is steady and serious, and I’m scared to ask what else he knows.

Blinking, I swallow, then take a deep breath. I’ve imagined this very conversation so many times that I can’t believe it’s finally happening. A weight I’ve been holding on my shoulders for ten long years is slowly lifting, and I can only hope it doesn’t all come crashing down.

“But that was a lie, wasn’t it?” he asks, not taking his eyes off me.

I look down and nod. “It was.”

“Tell me, Sav.” He tilts my chin up so I’m forced to look at him. “I need you to say it.”

“I had to lie, Hayden,” I choke out. “I’m sorry. I know I hurt you. I was hurting too,” I admit. I remember those months after the breakup and how miserable I was. School kept me busy, but it didn’t dull the ache in my chest. I missed him, wanted to reach out to him so many times, but I knew I couldn’t. “I was trying to protect you.”

“Tell me,” he demands. “I want to hear you tell me.”

“Wait.” I pause. “How did you know? When did you know?” I ask, confused considering I never told anyone except… “Donny?”

He lowers his eyes a bit, which tells me everything I need to know. That little snitch.

“If you knew…why didn’t you reach out to me?” I hesitantly ask.

“I found out a few years after. I didn’t want to interrupt your life, knowing you were going to school and following your dreams. After that, I just lost the courage. Figured by then you’d moved on. I had even convinced myself you’d never come back.”

I swallow at his honesty. The hurt I caused is still evident in his voice, which kills me.

“I wanted to protect you,” I tell him earnestly. “It was the only way.”

“Protect me from what?” He only knows half the truth.

I tuck my lips into my mouth, scared to finally say the words aloud. Donny knew I lied about seeing another guy, but he didn’t know why I lied in the first place. It was painfully obvious I wasn’t interested in dating anyone, but I lied to keep Hayden from making a mistake I knew he’d regret later or worse, resent me for.

“Remember that first Thanksgiving our freshman year? I came home, and we were at your parents’ house for dinner.”

“Yes.”

“I overheard you talking to your dad and Hunter about transferring to New York so you could be closer to me. You said being long distance was getting too hard, and that you could play football at another university.” I remember it like it was yesterday, and it still stings as I remember it.

“My dad lost his shit,” he says.

“Yeah, he did.”

Hunter wasn’t happy about it either. He looked up to Hayden so much at that age. Still does, I’m sure.

“But who the fuck cares? My dad always lost his shit over anything that wasn’t a part of his plan. I was barely speaking to him at that time anyway, but I knew I had to tell him I wanted to transfer.”

“I couldn’t let you do that.”

“So that’s why you lied about seeing someone else? So I wouldn’t follow you to New York?” He winces as if I’d just slapped him, and I feel impossibly worse.

“No, Hayden. Well, yes. I wanted to protect you from making a mistake you’d later regret because I knew football was your life. I knew you got a huge scholarship for playing at CSU, and I didn’t want to be the reason you uprooted and changed your life.” I knew there was no guarantee he’d even get into another school near me, never mind get on the football team. It was the middle of our first year. Too much was at stake.

“You were my life, Savannah. I wanted to move to New York. I hated being away from you, and I thought you felt the same until—”

“Of course I did! I missed you every single day. But knowing that you were going to give it all up for me? I couldn’t let you do that. School and practice made me so busy, I barely had time for me. How could I give us time on top of that? It was too much pressure.”

“So you’d rather make me believe the love of my life was cheating or fell out of love with me instead?”

I shrug, hating this so damn much. “It had to be something big enough for you to let me go. You would’ve tried to convince me otherwise, and I didn’t know if I’d be strong enough to say no then.” I blink away the tears threatening to spill. The guilt weighs so heavy on my chest. “I didn’t know what else to do, Hayden. I was eighteen. I thought I was protecting you by keeping you from leaving a college career I knew you wanted.”

His gaze is hard and unwavering. “I wanted you more.”