Forever After All(76)

I nod. He’s right. I know he is. But can I harden my heart the way he has? Despite everything that’s happened to my mother, to Sofia, my heart still craves what I know I can’t have. A small part of me still longs for the things I’ve never known—a loving family of my own. It’s foolish, and I know it, but I can’t control my heart.

“Do you really think it’s possible to live without love?”

Alec nods as he plays with my hair. “We’ve been doing it just fine, haven’t we?”

His words hurt, yet I smile through the pain. He has no idea that I fall a little further every day.

“Do you love me, Alec? Even just a little?”

He stares at me wide-eyed and sits up; the sheets bunching up around his waist. Alec runs a hand through his hair and inhales deeply.

“Elena, why are you asking me this?”

I sit up on my knees and look into his eyes. “Alec… I just… you and I… we’re not like our parents. You know I’d never betray you, and I don’t think you’d ever cheat on me either. We’re not like them.”

He nods, his expression wary. “We aren’t, because we have agreements in place. Because our marriage is transactional. You and I don’t need to rely on love to keep us together. We have so much more than that.”

“I understand,” I tell him. “I do, Alec. But why does that need to be all we have?”

Alec sighs and looks at me, his expression irritated. “Elena, why are we even talking about this? I gave you an out when I proposed. I told you that if you married me, you’d be agreeing to a life without love. So why do you suddenly want more?” He leans back against his pillow, a dismayed expression on his face. “After everything you just witnessed, you still want love? You watched multiple lives get destroyed over it, yet you still want it? Why?”

I look away, unsure how to explain myself. “Alec… you and I both grew up in households without love. Is that what you want for our children?”

He looks at me, and the coldness in his eyes has a shiver running down my spine. “All of this… what is this, Elena?” His eyes are flashing with an emotion I can’t quite decipher. Is it anger? Irritation? He’s making me feel like merely asking whether he loves me is inconveniencing him. “You got what you wanted—you managed to save your mother’s life. And I married you so I’ll get the job I want. That’s all this marriage is, Elena. It’s just a mutual beneficial arrangement.”

I clasp my hands, trying my hardest to keep from trembling. “That’s it?” I ask, my voice breaking. “That’s all I am to you?”

Alec looks down at his hands and shakes his head. “I care about you, Elena. Of course, I do. You know I do.”

Alec shakes his head and turns his back to me. I hear the words he doesn’t say. He cares about me—but he doesn’t love me, and he probably never will.





Chapter 55





A lexander



“You wanted to see me, Grandpa?”

I enter his office—the office that I’ve always considered to be the ultimate goal. Every time I walk in here, I’m filled with renewed determination. One day soon, I’ll succeed him.

“Take a seat.”

I sit down opposite him, confused as to why he called me in. I stare at him, struggling to reconcile the person he is in front of Elena and my mother, with the person sitting in front of me.

“How is your mother?”

I look away. “She’s fine,” I say instinctively, but she isn’t. She’s been crying a lot, and she’s barely left the house, scared of the way the paparazzi hounds her. It’s painful to watch, but there’s no other way.

“She’ll get through this,” Grandpa says, and I nod. She will. She must.

My grandfather pushes a stack of documents toward me, a resigned look in his eyes. “I’m old, Alec. Stuck in my ways. I think I know better, simply because I’m older, because I’ve seen so much, lived through so much. It’s because of my stubbornness that your mother stayed in a marriage she should have gotten out of years ago. It’s because of me she wasted away years of her life—years she’ll never get back. I won’t make the same mistake with you.”

I take the papers from him, my eyes widening when I realize what they are. “My position as chairman is yours. I’ll lift the marriage requirement. You’re well aware that I adore Elena, but don’t marry her in pursuit of your own goals. If you marry her, marry her because it’s her you want, because you can’t imagine your life without her, because you love her. I want for you what your mother didn’t get to have—a happy and fulfilling marriage. Don’t end up like your mother. Don’t do that to Elena.”

He hands me a pen and I don’t hesitate to sign the contract, my heart pounding. This is everything I’ve ever wanted, so why doesn’t signing this feel as good as I expected it to?

“The board will certify your appointment in the next couple of days. You and I both know that Dylan isn’t qualified to take my role, yet my stubbornness almost allowed him to.”

Grandpa sighs and leans back in his seat. “It’s because of your grandmother. It’s because I want all of my children and grandchildren to have what I had with her. Your grandma… she kept me grounded, she was my partner in every way that mattered, my best friend. She made life worth living, and I still miss her every single day. But what I had with your grandmother is exceptionally rare. Just being married doesn’t guarantee a bond like that. I should have known better.”