Forbidden: Claude (Second in Command #2)(33)
Claude heard what Evelina said, and shook his head. She had the nerve to lie about the gown, and now she was telling him to call her Lady. He didn’t like the games she played. He stormed over to her and was about to reprimand her until the scent of fresh rosewater drifted up from her body, filling his senses and about driving him mad with desire.
“Don’t play games with me, Evie,” he told her, reaching out and lifting her chin with two fingers.
“I am not playing games,” she told him. “Lady Rose told me to buy a gown for myself.”
“Take it off. You can’t wear the gown of a lady. Take it off now!”
Lightning flashed through the crack of the shutter and the rain pelted against it in the wind, making a loud hammering noise. Then the wind whistled through the shutter, blowing it open.
“God’s eyes, enough with this storm.” Claude hurried over and secured the shutter, feeling his body shake because of the storm. It was a storm just like this that frightened him as a child. It was the night his grandfather took his own life and Claude had almost lost his life, and so had his father. It brought back horrible memories of his father’s castle falling into the sea. Even to this day, he couldn’t get the terrifying images out of his mind.
“You’re shaking,” said Evelina, coming up behind him and placing her warm hand on his shoulder. He was faced toward the window and didn’t turn around. “What’s wrong, Claude? What has you so frightened? Is it the storm?”
It wasn’t only the storm that frightened him. His desire for wanting a forbidden woman was scaring him as well. “I want you, Evelina,” he spoke into the shutter rather than to turn and have to face her.
“What did you say?”
“You heard me. Don’t ask me to repeat it.”
“I want you, too, Claude.”
He thought he’d heard her wrong, but when he turned around to face her, she was staring at him with want in her eyes.
“You asked me what scares me, well I’ll tell you. You scare me.”
“Me?” she giggled, filling the room with the sweet sound of her voice. “I am not going to slap you again if you try to kiss me, if that is what you are thinking.”
That was all he had to hear. He lifted her chin and leaned forward, kissing her full lips. He was already becoming heady. To him, she tasted like sweet ambrosia, the nectar of the gods, and he couldn’t get his fill. This wasn’t right. He had too many feelings for her that were more than lust, so he should just stop now. He envisioned them married with children, living in Stonebury Castle back in France, and shook his head to make the thought go away.
She tried to kiss him again, but he pulled back.
“Claude? What’s the matter? Didn’t you like the kiss?”
“Too much,” he told her, letting out a sigh. “Evie, I can’t do this right now.”
“Why not?” Her brows dipped in disappointment. “Is it because you are still in love with Rose and refuse to accept that she is happily married to Toft? You need to let go of her, Claude. You are not children anymore. Rose is happy. Now, you need to be happy as well. If you don’t release the past, you will never find happiness in the future. These thoughts will haunt you for the rest of your life.”
Claude realized she was right. He had been holding on to the hope that someday he could be with Rose. But Rose told him they were just friends. Who was he to try to steal her happiness only to gain his? And would he even be happy if he did end up marrying Rose? Or would she consider him a friend and nothing more? He didn’t want to waste his life mourning over what he could not have. He needed to love a woman – but one who was not forbidden to him.
“You are right,” he told her. “I have been lying to myself, thinking I was still in love with Rose but, actually, I don’t think I am.”
“There is no shame in going after what you want,” she told him. “Just be sure it is really what you want because you might end up getting it.”
“I want you, Evelina,” he told her again, pulling her into his embrace, and kissing the top of her head. He rubbed his cheek against her soft, silken hair and groaned. The scent of rosewater filled his senses, bringing his lust to life. “I want you, but I don’t want you to play games with me anymore.”
“I – I don’t know what you mean.”
He buried his nose against her neck, kissing her and using his tongue to taste her skin. She smelled fresh from her bath. It made him want to explore her body further.
“You do know what I mean. You’ve been lying to me, and I won’t take it anymore.”
“That’s what I am trying to tell you, Claude. I don’t want to lie to you anymore.”
“I won’t have you wearing the gown of a lady because it makes me want you even more.”
“It does?” she asked.
“Remove it,” he told her.
“I need to talk to you first, Claude.”
“Either you remove it or I’ll rip it off. But when I make love to you, I promise you it will be real and not pretend.”
Evelina’s jaw dropped. Did he just say he was going to make love to her? She should have tried harder to tell him she was a lady, but when he reached for her gown, she had to act quickly. “Please, don’t rip the gown,” she told him, liking it too much to see it ruined. “I will remove it, if that is what you want.”