Folsom (End of Men, #1)(43)

Corinne greets us and leads us upstairs, a somber expression on her face. She won’t tell us anything when Diana presses her.

When we walk into Gwen’s room, she’s sitting up in bed, her hair piled on top of her head. She is more beautiful in a dull grey hospital gown with mascara streaking her cheeks than I’ve ever seen her look. Diana goes to her side and I stand back to let mother and daughter comfort each other while a sick dread hits my belly.

Doctor Hunley rushes in and barely pauses when she sees me in the room. “Folsom,” she acknowledges, her gaze immediately shifting to Gwen. “Josie will be here any minute to do your ultrasound. I’ll feel better taking a look, won’t you?”

She barely gets the words out when there’s a rap at the door and the technician rolls the machine into the room. She puts a blanket over the lower half of Gwen’s body and lifts the gown up to expose Gwen’s stomach.

She glances at me then and back to Gwen. “Would you rather do this privately?”

“I want him here,” she says, stretching her hand out to me.

I take her hand and grip it, looking into her eyes rather than watching them prepare. Josie tells her when she’s about to insert the device and we turn to the screen. She reminds us that it’s early and we might not see much yet. I don’t understand anything I’m seeing at first, but then Josie points out the gestational sac and the yolk sac and zooms in on it and I’m fascinated.

Everyone gasps when a consistent pulse is seen.

“Is that—?” I ask.

“That’s the baby’s heartbeat. We’re definitely seeing cardiac motion,” Josie confirms. “It will get even faster later, but this is completely normal for right now.”

“I can’t believe it,” Gwen whispers.

Josie looks at the doctor and smiles then warns Gwen she’s about to remove the wand. I carefully place Gwen’s hand on her chest and back away, suddenly feeling out of place.

“Your baby looks fine,” Doctor Hunley speaks up. “And it’s normal to have some spotting throughout pregnancy, especially in the first trimester. We’ll keep a close eye on you, though. Take frequent breaks, put your feet up, and drink lots of water. We won’t give you any long-term restrictions now that we see how healthy everything is looking. Just pay attention to your body.” She pats Gwen’s shoulder and smiles at each of us before leaving the room.

“The baby is okay,” Gwen says finally, looking past her mother to me. “It was just a scare.”

Gwen and Diana start to cry, while I stand rooted to the spot, not knowing what to do. I’m not sure what I’m allowed to feel. Gwen is not mine, and the boy she’s carrying will never belong to me, and yet I am relieved, so relieved that I want to hold her and touch her belly.

“Folsom,” Gwen says. I stand to attention. “Come here.”

I do as I’m told, my limbs rigid. I even remind myself of a robot. Diana excuses herself quickly to find a restroom and it’s just Gwen and me in the room. She pats the edge of the bed and I sit. Grabbing my shirt in her fists, she pulls me to her and loops an arm around my neck. She holds my face against hers, our foreheads touching. I sit very still and try to memorize this feeling. No words, just touch expressing words. I wrap my arms around her slight frame and hold her tight.

“You can be like this with me,” she says. “You don’t have to be an End Man when we’re together. Because no matter how many women you’re with, or where they send you, I will always be right here belonging to you. I promise.”

I pull away from her so I can see her expression.

“Do you understand what I’m saying to you?”

“Gwen…”

“—It’s okay,” she rushes. “You don’t have to say anything. I’m happy to have you…as a friend.”

“Friends don’t fuck.”

“Says who?” She grins.

I lean my forehead against hers and close my eyes.

“I can’t say the things I want to,” I tell her softly. “If I say them, they mean more. And nothing can mean anything. Not in my life.”

She nods against my forehead like she understands. But how could she?

“I’m afraid visiting hours are over,” Doctor Hunley says, walking into the room. “We’re going to keep her overnight just so we can monitor the baby and you can pick her up tomorrow if you like, Folsom…”

“Right. Perfect,” I say, standing up.

Diana inches back into the room to say goodbye to Gwen as Doctor Hunley hands me a clearance badge to get through the gate.

“Folsom has appointments. It’ll be my mother who picks me up,” Gwen tells the doctor.

“No. I’ll come.” All three sets of eyes turn to look at me.

“Are you sure? How will you—?” Gwen is shaking her head.

“I’m sure. I’ll be here in the morning.”

Diana informs me that Petite got a ride home after we stole her car, so I drive her back to the Governor’s Mansion and arrange for Sera to pick me up there.

“How mad is she?” I ask.

“I don’t really care, to be honest, Folsom.” She sighs. “A parent never puts anything before their child. Pandora never had any, she doesn’t understand.”