Folk Around and Find Out (Good Folk: Modern Folktales #2)(106)
“What do you mean?” she asked, picking up her own glass of water and taking a sip. “You care about gossip? Since when?”
“I don’t generally care about gossip, but I’ve gossiped about Jackson.”
“Come on, that wasn’t gossip,” my friend scoffed. “That was a coordinated attack on Rae in my house last summer. We were being good friends, encouraging her to acknowledge her feelings for Jackson.”
“I’m not just talking about that one time we were sitting around your kitchen table. I’m—” I huffed at myself. “Here’s the thing: I've known Jackson forever, but we didn’t become friends until a few months prior to dating. I didn't know folks considered him a ladies’ man when he asked me out. As soon as he suggested we go on a date, I called up my old high school friends about him and asked whether they knew anyone he'd been involved with.”
“Really?” The single word sounded both surprised and impressed. “Why'd you do that?”
“I didn't want to waste his time or mine if he was a stuffed shirt.” I picked at a thread on my blanket. “Since we became real friends, he always seemed like a rule-following stuffed shirt to me.”
Sienna chuckled. “That's funny. Jethro claimed Jackson’s reputation was the opposite of a stuffed shirt.”
"No, Jackson is a stuffed shirt. Yeah, he was a ladies’ man at one point, but with me, he was a stuffed shirt the whole time. Remember? That was frustrating. When I asked around, everyone said he was a good-time guy, up for anything. Which had appealed to me.”
“You wanted a good-time guy?” Sienna rested her arm along the back of the couch. “Nothing serious?”
“Not at all. I wanted—I hoped—we'd get serious and he was a good-time guy. I’ve never wanted to be with someone who was a rigid rule follower. I’m too loud for those kinds of people, too much. They don’t appeal to me either.”
“I can see that.” Sienna sighed and she bent her elbow, her fingers threading into her hair as she leaned her head to the side, considering me. “Jethro is mostly a rule follower now, but I love how he breaks his own rules with me, like he can’t help himself.”
“Yes. That. I wanted someone who was fun and surprising, a little subversive, who thinks about things differently. Jackson seemed to be ready to settle down when we dated, and I hoped he'd bring some of that good-time guy subversiveness to the relationship.” Bracing myself, I took another gulp of the electrolyte drink, wishing I had a water-chaser for the aftertaste. “That's why I agreed to date him despite only having friendship chemistry with him when we started.”
“Did you think, once the two of you started to date, he'd show you his other side and loosen up?”
“Exactly.” I nodded. “But he didn't. He just seemed so damn determined to be respectful all the time, and nothing I did tempted him—I didn’t tempt him—and I hated it.”
Sienna laughed. “That’s right, now I remember. You broke up with him because he was a boy scout.”
“I'm not saying I want someone to disrespect me. Obviously, I've had enough of that to last a lifetime. I'm saying I want someone who knows how to act disrespectful in the right situation. A little dirty, a little naughty, knowing that crossing lines of politeness can be a lot of fun.”
Sienna’s eyes sparkled, but she said nothing.
Thus, I felt compelled to be explicit. “Let me put it this way, I don't want someone to put me on an altar unless we're eventually having sex on it.”
“Oh my God, Charlotte!” Her mouth dropped open. “That's so bad. I love it. I might steal it for a movie.”
“I hope you do.” I finished my drink and set the empty glass on the table, meeting Sienna’s amused stare.
"You like Hank because he's respectfully disrespectful?" she asked.
“Yes, that’s definitely part of the reason. But it’s not just about me. Hank is respectfully disrespectful in all facets of his life.” Allowing my gaze to lose focus over her shoulder, I considered this oddity in my personality and ended up speaking my thoughts, stream of consciousness. “And I guess I want my kids to know you don't have to do what's expected of you by society at all times. I’ve always hated how most people I know just blindly do what’s expected, and I don’t want that for my kids.”
“What do you mean?”
I retuned my attention to Sienna. “I want them to, you know, be a rebel as long as they’re doing good in the world. Stir up some trouble, make things hard for the status quo but follow a well-thought moral code that’s hard or impossible to argue with or disregard. Do shocking things if you need to, but do them for the right reasons. Don’t live your life guided by fear of coloring outside the lines. Folks who color outside the lines make the biggest difference. I honestly love that about Hank, how he effortlessly walks those lines. I thought that’s who Kevin was when I met him, the rebel of his family.”
“He wasn’t?”
“Oh, he was a rebel when I met him, but instead of being respectfully disrespectful, he was just plain disrespectful with no moral code, just a selfish one.” I lifted my eyes to the ceiling. “And that's even more boring—and painful, and frustrating—as being with a stuffed shirt."