Flock (The Ravenhood #1)(63)

And I love him for that.

But what of love?

Thinking of this situation long term would be beyond foolish. But Sean hinted heavily, more than once, if I wanted to commit to him, he wouldn’t be opposed to it.

Maybe it was a one-time thing.

The idea of belonging solely to Sean appeals to me greatly. He’s more than enough. But did that act set me up to be greedy for more? I’ve bitten into the forbidden fruit, and with that knowledge comes the unrelenting urge to sink my teeth in again.

Sean knew it was a possibility, and he’d alluded to as much.

Do I really want to let the static chemistry with Dominic go if I don’t have to?

And being with the two of them and watching their reactions, I’ve never been so turned on in my life.

But how many more lashings can I handle? It’s only been days, and I’ve all but burned myself at the stake.

I’m not that girl.

I’m not that girl.

I’m now that girl.

The one constant that eats at me is if this is something they do on the regular, can I condemn the women before me?

Hell no, and I hate that. But I want to. So much. Jealousy burns me at the knowledge I’m not the first. Yet in a way, it makes me feel less alone because I share a secret with them.

But what’s become of them?

Am I different?

Damn them both.

They have to know what a head trip this is. I doubt Dominic cares, but Sean knows, and he’s waiting on my verdict.

It’s another decision.

Restless, I turn on the shower and try to drown my anxious thoughts out with the spray of water.

The morals we’re taught early on are meant to guide us, and without them, we’re directionless. But Sean doesn’t follow the norm or the guidelines that most of society adheres to. He’s an independent thinker who navigates his life by his gut, living decision by decision.

He lives unapologetically in the grey. So does Dominic. But what can that mean long term?

What of soulmates? Love of your life? One and only? These sayings exist for a reason as well. One.

One man, one woman, or one partner for everyone.

Not two. There’s ‘The One.’ Not ‘The Two.’

But for some. For some…

Welcome to my world.

There’s also ‘college phase,’ ‘that year I was promiscuous,’ ‘before I met,’ these are also sayings I’ve read about, heard over the years.

Though my experience is limited in the telling of these stories, save the one I just earned, I know they exist. From what I’ve gathered, the college phase is always about promiscuity, freeing your inhibitions for an allotted time, and same-sex curiosity. Isn’t that one and the same of what I’ve just experienced? Aren’t I allowed time to explore my sexual prowess and expand it, if I so desire?

Soulmate and one true love haven’t been on my list of priorities since Jared hurt me.

One day. Sometime in the future. But does it have to be now?

No.

It doesn’t. I do care for Sean in a way that’s too far gone to pull back completely.

And though the arrival of my feelings for Dominic surprise me, along with our connection, he doesn’t have to be Mr. Right.

No doubt, he’s not. Dominic doesn’t seem to be a forever type of man.

Falling for Sean is becoming inevitable. I love the way he cares for me, the way he makes me feel—the comfort his presence allows me to fully be myself.

Own it.

I’ll drive myself crazy if I don’t.

I can’t even bring myself to regret it.

Out of a scalding shower, I study my reflection in the mirror and don’t back away from what I see. Skin tinted pink from the water; I let my eyes roam freely, searching for flaws, searching for a reason not to look.

All that I expect to feel, gazing at my reflection, I don’t.

This is owning it.

And it’s my decision.

At some point in time in a person’s life, they have the choice to search for their forever or let themselves off the leash.

One more glide of my eyes down my body lets me know what choice I’m making tonight.

Down the rabbit hole I go.

I slip into my second skin and rub scented lotion on it before pulling out dark washed jeans and an off the shoulder tee from my closet. I brush bronzer on and sweep thick black mascara over my lashes before lining and filling my lips a shimmering blood red.

Then I shoot off a text.

Maybe I’m not in college just yet, but it’s clear that my education has started early.





I PULL UP TO THE garage to see several cars backed into the parking lot, and hordes of guys huddled around them, most faces unfamiliar, but their shared ink is unmistakable. The shop is pitch dark, locked up tight, the bay doors closed. Sean walks over as soon as I pull up. When I step out, I see his eyes heat when he takes me in.

“Fuck, baby, you look, goddamn,” he turns away from me, shielding me with his body to block me from the others and I slip my arms around his chest, pulling him into me.

“Miss me?”

He turns and peers down at me, my hand locking around his back. “I wanted to give you space and fuck me, it was hard. But it’s going to be even harder tonight.” His tone is filled with insinuation, which stirs my memory and I feel my cheeks heat.