Fisher's Light(51)

I didn’t realize how much I missed the taste and the feel of him until right at this moment. Fantasies and memories are nothing compared to the real thing. I deepen the kiss, pushing harder against his tongue, tasting peppermint and coffee and something that is so uniquely Fisher that my heart beats faster, thrilled at having it back after missing it for so long. Our mouths push and pull against each other and Fisher takes all I have to give with his lips and tongue. Our heads change positions, back and forth as his hands tighten their grip on my face, pulling my mouth harder against his so he can punish me with his lips and tongue. I remember every moment I’ve kissed this man; the countless times fly through my mind and I lose myself in him and forget the obstacles still standing between us. I moan into his mouth and, just as quickly as the kiss began, it ends. He drops his hands from my face and I immediately feel cold air on my cheeks instead of the warmth of his palms as he takes a few steps back from me, breathing deeply and running one hand nervously through his short, dark hair.

“Jesus, Lucy,” Fisher mutters under his breath.

A flicker of the memory of Stanford muttering the same thing to me a few weeks ago floats through my mind, but I push it away. Stanford’s curse was filled with shock and a touch of irritation, while Fisher’s is filled with nothing but want and need.

Stanford. Shit! What the hell am I doing?

“Lucy, I—”

Pushing myself away from the wall, I edge around him and over to what he was working on, cutting off whatever he was going to say. I don’t want his damn apology. If he apologizes to me right now, I will lose my shit all over this basement. I was an idiot for losing my mind as soon as I came down here, but that stupid song and this stupid man are screwing with my head. With his broad shoulders and his strong arms wrapped around me, I felt safe and secure. The light, woodsy smell of his cologne is still burned into my nostrils and the taste of his mouth is still imprinted against my tongue. My cheeks and chin burn from the scratch of his beard and I have to take a few deep breaths to stop myself from turning around to kiss him again. I have a boyfriend. I shouldn’t be making out with my ex-husband, who was probably two seconds away from telling me he never meant to kiss me so forcefully, so f*cking completely that I forgot about the man in my life I’m supposed to building a future with and all of the ways Fisher hurt me.

“This is beautiful, Fisher,” I tell him, changing the subject and running my hands over the sign he was working on when I came down here.

He loves talking about his work and it’s the best way to distract him from the giant f*cking elephant in the room.

“Thanks,” he replies, coming up to stand next to me, but keeping a few feet between us.

I stare at the words Ruby’s Fudge Shop intricately carved in the middle with a beautiful, swirling design of candies and other confections surrounding it.

“I took your advice and decided to apologize with some gifts. This is the last one, and I’m hoping to finish it tonight so I can drop it off tomorrow.”

Stan’s Diner, The Lobster Bucket and Ruby’s Fudge Shop – the three businesses he damaged last year before he left the island. It touches my heart that he listened to me and did something so thoughtful for these people.

“That’s amazing, Fisher. I’m sure they appreciate it,” I tell him, trying not to let this sweet side of Fisher turn my insides to mush.

I change the subject again, bringing it back to my real reason for coming here. It wasn’t to kiss him and it definitely wasn’t to see the old Fisher, the one who always melted my heart.

“Look, I’m sorry to drop in like this, but I wanted to apologize for the way I behaved on the beach. Trip told me it wasn’t you who deposited that money, so… I’m sorry. I was a total bitch,” I explain, sliding my hands into the back pocket of my shorts and kicking my toe against some of the wood debris littering the floor at my feet.

“You don’t have to apologize, Lucy, it’s fine. I already had a talk with my mom and she’s going to stop the deposits. She just… Well, you know how she is. She doesn’t know any better way to say she’s sorry or to help someone out,” he says with a shrug.

“Thanks. And will you tell her thank you for me? I know her heart was in the right place, but… you know, it’s not really appropriate considering…” I trail off, not bothering to add, “Considering we’re divorced and I’m dating someone else even though we just made out a few minutes ago and my body is still burning, wanting more.”