First & Then(68)

We reached three hundred.

I opened my eyes.

Foster let out a long breath, looked at me, and nodded ever so slightly.

I nodded back. He squeezed his eyes shut.

And started to count again.





36


Ezra stayed with us until my parents arrived. My mom was beside herself. “I can’t believe we weren’t here,” she just kept saying. She fluffed Foster’s pillows about twelve times in the first ten minutes she was there.

“I’m fine,” Foster just kept replying, which was good, because my mom seemed to need a lot of reassurances. I swear she was just shy of making him say the alphabet backward and forward, to make sure they hadn’t knocked a few letters out of his brain.

As my parents tended to Foster, Ezra shifted closer to the door.

“Thanks,” I said when I noticed this. “For … you know.”

“No problem.”

Ezra had his phone out, and it struck me for the first time how late it must be. “I bet you want to get home.”

He shook his head. “No, I just … don’t want to intrude.”

“You’re not intruding.”

He smiled a little. And then he held up his phone: “Jordan’s been texting me like nonstop from the waiting room.”

“He’s here?”

“Yeah. I told him Foster was okay, but I guess I should probably go out there.”

My parents were occupied with Foster, and Foster, in turn, was occupied with them. So I went with Ezra to the waiting room.

Lindsay, Cas, and Jordan were all sitting out there. They straightened up when we walked in.

“Champ.” Jordan jumped to his feet and closed me in a hug. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s going to be fine.”

“Good. Great.” He pulled away. “How are you doing?”

“I’m okay.”

“You look tired,” Lindsay said, and then her eyes grew wide. “Not that you don’t look great, I mean, you always look great, it’s just that—”

“It’s okay,” I said. “I am tired.”

“I could drive you home if you want to get some rest,” Lindsay said.

“No, I’m fine. Thanks. Thought about hitting up the cafeteria, though … I’m kind of hungry.”

“Oh, we stopped at my house,” Lindsay said. “After the game. I brought some sandwiches and stuff. Maybe you guys could find some vending machines? Get drinks?”

“Sure thing,” Jordan nodded, and he, Cas, and Ezra headed off down the hall.

“I know what it’s like waiting at a hospital,” Lindsay said to me. “Sometimes you can forget to eat.”

I looked at her for a moment as she began unpacking a big lunch box. I didn’t know if we were close enough that I could ask her why she had been waiting at a hospital. I decided that we weren’t. But then I looked at the sandwich in her outstretched hand and thought about how she’d always been so kind to me, and I decided that we were.

“Why were you in a hospital?” I asked as I took the sandwich.

“My grandpa. He was real sick last year.”

“I’m sorry.”

She nodded. “We miss him a lot.”

It was quiet. When I glanced back at Lindsay, she had a strange look on her face. Before I could speak, she burst.

“Devon, I’m so sorry. I know you have a lot on your mind right now, and it’s been a really crazy time for you—for everybody—but I know I’ve made it harder on you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I never should’ve asked Ezra to go to Homecoming with me.”

That was not what I was expecting, and it wasn’t really an avenue of conversation I wanted to explore. “You don’t have to—I mean, you had every right to ask whoever you wanted.” My thumbs suddenly became very interesting. All opposable and whatnot.

“No, look, I knew that—I heard that you and he weren’t going together anymore, and I just thought…” She screwed up her face, near tears. “It’s so terrible, it’s horrible, I just wanted to make you and Cas jealous. I’m so sorry.”

I blinked. “You don’t like Ezra?”

“Not like that.”

“But Ezra must … like you?”

“Why?”

“Because you’re you. And … he said yes to you, and…” And it made sense. He was good and she was good; they just made sense.

“No, he didn’t even want to go. I really had to twist his arm.” Lindsay’s eyes were wide. “And it was terrible, Devon. Literally, we got into the gym, we stayed for, like, twenty minutes, and then we spent the rest of the time at his house setting up for the party. I strung the lights and he just … stared sullenly at the ice cube trays.”

I smiled a little.

“I was so mad about Cas showing up with that … that fetus Gracie Holtzer.”

It was the most contemptuous thing I had ever heard her say. I couldn’t help but grin. “Gracie’s pretty fierce actually. She had a guy punched for me in gym. It was like witnessing a mob hit.”

Lindsay was still upset. “I’m sure she’s great. I just … I felt terrible, and all the worse because I knew that I had wronged you, too.”