First & Then(57)

And all the while, Cas stood there as “Everyone knows it” hung between us, and I could see it on his face—this obnoxious confidence. And I knew that he knew, that he had known all along, and here he was, pitying me. Poor Devon and her feelings.

I could feel my cheeks flushing, white hot tears of embarrassment pricking my eyes. If I blinked, they would fall. So I didn’t blink.

“It’s not true,” I said. “Everyone’s wrong.”

“Dev. Come on.”

“Cas,” I said. “Geez. You’re usually pretty full of shit, but tonight you’re like especially full of shit.”

“Why are you acting like this?” he said.

I wanted to yell. Rail long and hard at Cas, but I was just as mad at myself. So I let my hands relax. Took a breath. And patted him on the cheek and said, “I’m sure Gracie misses you.” And then I turned and walked into the gym.





30


Jordan met me inside the door. Cas was right behind me. The last thing I wanted to do was stay in Cas’s presence, but Jordan cornered us both, slapping hands with Cas and putting his other arm around me.

“Next dance is mine, okay?” he said in my ear. “Nice suit, Kincaid,” he called to Cas over the pound of the speakers. Cas gave him a nod, avoiding my eyes, and disappeared back into the crowd, I suppose in search of his pubescent girlfriend.

When the next pop ballad broke through the speakers, Jordan came and led me out onto the floor.

“Are you okay?” he said, when we began moving to the beat.

“Uh-huh.” I was scanning the crowd for Ezra and Lindsay over Jordan’s shoulder, hoping desperately not to see them but looking all the same.

“I told him not to go with her.”

“I didn’t know they even liked each other.”

“Just because you go to a dance together doesn’t mean you like each other.”

Doesn’t it? Ezra had asked me. That meant something, or so I had thought. So I had come to hope, at least.

“She’s way too young anyway,” Jordan continued.

“Lindsay?”

Jordan gave me a funny look. “Gracie.” There was a pause. “You were talking about our man Ezra.”

There was that twinge again. “No, I wasn’t.”

“Now let’s not go telling lies. This is your pal Jordan you’re talking to.”

“My pal Jordan,” I murmured. “Champion of my heart.”

“No, you’re the champion of my heart.”

“Can we be each other’s champions?”

“Yeah.” He smiled. “I’d like that.”

I returned the smile as best I could, but then my attention was drawn over his shoulder again. I thought I caught a twirl of cream-colored fabric in the crowd.

“I told him to talk to you, you know,” he said after a moment. “I told him a million times. But I counsel a lot of folk, and they don’t always take my advice. I don’t know why. I’m very wise.”

I smiled a little. “You are.” I swallowed. “Lindsay’s … Lindsay’s great, though.” That was the thing. She was. And they looked … picture perfect together, like someone’s dream notion of a high school dance. They could print that shit, sell it. I’d probably buy it myself.

“She is,” Jordan said. “So are you.”

I just humphed.

“Nah, come on. Give yourself some credit.”

“If I’m so great, why don’t you go out with me?” I couldn’t believe my own daring, but I felt close enough to Jordan to say it.

“Oh, I would. But I’m set down for someone else. And I have a feeling you are, too.”

Jane would love Jordan. I loved Jordan. I wondered who his lucky person was. They must’ve been magnificent.

I rested my head on his shoulder. This was closer dancing than propriety called for, but Jordan was my friend, and I needed someone’s shoulder. We swayed back and forth to the music.

As per all school dances, eventually the deejay announced the last song and then flashed the lights to signal the end of the dance. I piled into the car with Foster and the highly perfumed Gwin and drove them, with a heavy heart, to Ezra’s house.

Foster directed me there, and I pulled up in front of the place. The street was already parked on both sides, so I kept the car running while Gwin gathered up her many layers of tulle and searched the backseat for her purse.

“It’s sparkly and it’s shaped like a cupcake,” she said. “I had it in the gym, didn’t I, Foster? You saw me carrying it out, didn’t you?”

I didn’t register Foster’s reply, because I was too busy staring up at Ezra’s house. Rather, up at the lush, sprawling lawn that led to Ezra’s house. Tall oak trees, a brick path, and then the monster-sized home.

It was grand. It deserved grandiose descriptions, but none came to mind. All I could think was that I didn’t know a person could be so rich and manage not to act like it.

“Mom and dad said twelve o’clock,” I told Foster, when Gwin finally located the sequined cupcake and extricated herself from the backseat. “Be out here waiting at a quarter ’til, because I don’t want to have to park.”

“No problem!” Foster said, and with a wave, he escorted Gwin up the brick steps.