First Down (Beyond the Play, #1)(73)

“I do. And you ought to have handled this issue off the field, after, instead of bringing it into the game. When you’re being paid millions of dollars to perform, you can’t just shut that off, no matter what’s going on in your personal life. What did you accomplish, besides making the guy hate you forever and lose the game for your teammates?”

His words feel like a strike to the face, and it hurts worse than Darryl’s actual punches or my conversation with Coach Gomez. “You said something to her.”

“Excuse me?”

“We talked after the game, and she mentioned you. What did you tell her?”

He sighs. “I reminded her that you have this tendency and told her not to create a situation where you’d choose her to the detriment of everything else.”

“She thought she had to keep this from me because of you.”

“Clearly she didn’t,” he says dryly.

“Only because I overheard him bragging about it and went to find her!” I make a fist, hitting my thigh. “What the hell, Dad? You can’t go behind my back like that!”

“And clearly the better thing would have been for you to find out about it later.”

The car slows as we approach the hotel. As soon as it stops, I jump out, grabbing my duffel before the driver can and hurrying inside. My brothers are in the lobby, clearly waiting for me because they look up as soon as the doors slide open.

“Is she gone?” I ask.

“She left a little while ago,” Seb says. He has a concerned look on his face that makes my stomach somersault.

“What happened with you two?” asks Cooper.

I press my lips together. “Fuck.”

Dad walks through the doors. He looks a lot more tired than I realized earlier. Older, too, than how I usually see him. When he sees the three of us standing together, he walks over. His hand settles on my shoulder, squeezing, and I feel my eyes burning, so I look down at the floor.

“The point is, your mother didn’t want me there,” he says. “If I’d tried to blow off a game to be with her, she’d have told me to get lost and go play. Her sister took care of her when I couldn’t be there. She understood that I had responsibilities I couldn’t ignore, even where my wife was concerned. She knew that we had to arrange our lives around the sport as long as I played it, and not everyone can handle that. I loved her for it then, and I love her for it now.”

“Um,” Cooper says, “what’s going on?”

I ignore him, shaking Dad’s hand off my shoulder. “Is that what you told Bex?”

“Not in as many words.”

“But you told her that she has to shut herself away for me.”

“Not shut herself away,” he says. “I just told her the reality. It takes a lot of compromise, son, making something like this work. I wanted to make sure she knew.”

I raise my eyes to meet his. “You didn’t have the right.”

“Someone had to know, because clearly you forget.”

“No. Screw that.” I clench my jaw, trying to swallow down the pain in my tone. “You knew how I feel about her, and you put that in jeopardy. You had no goddamn right to do that. If I lose her because of this, I’m never forgiving you.”

“If you lose her because of this, she wasn’t meant to be yours in the first place.”

“Jesus, Dad,” Coop says.

“Richard,” says Seb.

If there’s one thing I’m not about to do, it’s start crying in front of my father and brothers. I turn on my heel and stride to the elevator, pulling my phone out of my pocket. I call Bex, but the phone goes straight to voicemail. I try again and get the same result.

After the third time, I throw the phone against the elevator doors.





43





BEX





“You’re not going to report him? Are you serious? He was such a creep to you.” Laura says as she settles back on her lounge chair. She’s still in Florida for winter break. I’m so jealous that she gets to wear a bikini right now, whereas I just came in from shoveling snow in front of the diner, but I’m trying hard not to show it because knowing her, she’d just offer to buy me a plane ticket to Naples. Before the game, I probably would have pretty much lived at James’ place during the winter break, but now I’m on Aunt Nicole’s couch. The only upside? The apartment rehab is almost finished, so soon, Mom and I will be able to move back in. We’ve been hunting for some used furniture for the place since everything was smoke damaged and had to be thrown out.

I pick at my sweater. The diner is open, but with the snow, I’m not expecting very many customers, so right now I’m curled up in a booth in the back, laptop on the table. The real story about why James didn’t make the throw to Darryl hasn’t come out, and I don’t think it will. But even though James and I are on a break, the issue with Darryl hasn’t gone away. At the very least, both are facing suspensions, and that could get worse for Darryl if I report his sexual misconduct.

In the week and a half since the game, the diner has been just the dose of reality I needed. My life isn’t fancy football games and playing around with photography. It’s waking up early to meet suppliers and staying long after the diner closes to go over the books.