Finding Isadora(83)

The girl nodded. “That’s what Mommy says about my father. I guess it’s hard, being a grownup.”

“Sometimes it is. But having friends like you helps.” And it was true. The smile I gave her was genuine, and my tears retreated.

When we all got back to work, Grace whispered to me, “I’m so sorry, hon. Now I know why you wanted some family time. I promise we’ll find an opportunity to really talk.”

“Just being around you and Jimmy Lee and Alyssa helps,” I said, slicing into a tomato. “I thought I wanted a long teary conversation, but this is better. I’ve had enough tears to last me for a while.”

“You should have called.”

“It felt disloyal to tell anyone else, before Richard. We only talked about it last night.”

“It was your decision then.” Grace nodded, as if she’d guessed that. “Not that it makes things any easier. Poor baby.” She gave me a brisk pat on the back. “Get slicing, or we’ll never eat.”

When I obeyed, she added softly, “For what it’s worth, I think you made a wise decision. Richard may be a great guy, but I just didn’t see the two of you as a couple. Or think you had that special spark.”

Spark. I glanced into the living room at the same moment Gabriel looked my way. Any more spark, and the air might spontaneously combust. Hurriedly, I looked down again, just in time to avoid slicing off my thumb.

Fortunately, Grace had moved to the stove to grasp the heavy pot of pasta. She drained the rigatoni, tossed it into a casserole dish along with the creamy cheese sauce, topped it with toasted bread crumbs, and put the dish in the oven. “You don’t need to bake it,” she told Alyssa, “because all the ingredients are already cooked. But I like giving it fifteen minutes so the flavors come together.”

Alyssa nodded. “The lettuce is done. Maybe I should start my homework? Then we can go see my mommy after supper?”

“That’s a good idea.”

After the girl had hurried off, Grace said, “Darn, I’d forgotten we’d promised to take her to the hospital. And Gabriel wants to talk to us, too. Isadora, I’m not sure—”

“It’s okay, honestly. I’m already feeling a lot better. We’ll talk on the weekend, when things aren’t so rushed.”

She nodded, then said, “Do you think you and Richard can stay friends?”

“I sure hope so. I do love him.”

My mother studied my face. “How’s he doing?”

“He’s mad. Hurt. Confused. He doesn’t believe in that spark you’re so keen on.”

“Hmm. One day he’ll experience it, then he’ll believe. Who knows, maybe now that he’s interested in that boy, he’ll get involved with the mother.”

I suppressed a twinge of unwarranted jealousy. “Caroline? I don’t think so, though apparently she does share his fondness for hockey. Or at least pretends to. No, I see Richard with another lawyer.”

“Yeah, there’s a lot to be said for sharing work and other interests. But then there’s more opportunity for discussion, stimulation, learning, when you have different ideas and interests. Guess the really important thing is sharing basic values, and truly loving each other.” She winked at me. “And spark.”

She went to the fridge and rummaged inside. “Give him my best wishes when you talk to him. What he’s doing is admirable. Looks like he has some of his father in him after all.”

If Gabriel really was his father.

I glanced through to the living room where my dad and Gabriel seemed to be arguing. And again it was as if Gabriel sensed my attention. He turned his head, met my gaze, and held it for a long moment before turning back to Jimmy Lee. I shivered.

To Grace I said, “Gabriel is more than Jimmy Lee’s lawyer. He’s become your friend.”

My mother, who was mixing up salad dressing, nodded. “I feel like we’ve known him for years.”

“It’s strange you didn’t get to know each other before. You’re involved in the same type of causes, and he even acted as Jimmy Lee’s lawyer before.”

Grace shrugged. “People come into your life when the time is right.”

I drew in a shaky breath. Had the time been right for Gabriel DeLuca to come into my life?

Maybe so. He’d been the catalyst that had made me realize something significant was missing in my relationship with Richard. He’d even gotten me reexamining my priorities, and choosing to volunteer my time for a good cause.

I liked him. I respected him. I wanted him in my life. But only as a friend. I’d thought Richard was my perfect match and been proven wrong, so it would be sheer idiocy to enter into a relationship with a man who I knew was wrong for me from the beginning. Besides, it would shatter Richard if his father and I… What? Did I have the guts to finish the thought?

If his father and I had sex, and he found out.

With Gabriel, it could never be more than having sex, because the man refused to let himself love. And for me, there was no point to a relationship without love.

But was it possible to achieve a friendship with Gabriel, when the man’s mere presence made my nerve endings sizzle?

I glanced at Grace, who was vigorously shaking the bottle of home-made dressing. Could I talk to her about this? Was there any hope she’d understand, when the two of us had such different perspectives on morality? No, she’d just say “go for it.”