Finding Isadora(76)

Just like his father, I thought. Except Richard’s secretary didn’t take as good care of him as Gabriel’s did.

Feeling almost giddy with relief, I realized I was ravenous, too. I’d been so nervous, the only thing I’d eaten all day was a small container of yogurt. “Let’s get some food.”

Together we lined up at the buffet, as we’d done many times before. Tonight we were awkward, careful not to brush against each other or meet each other’s eyes.

Back at the table, we dug into the food, partly out of hunger and also, I was sure, because we didn’t know what to say. Finally I broke the silence. “Tell me your news.”

He stared at me, his face looking tired and strained, then he gave his head a shake. “It takes some getting used to. No wedding, no house, no kids. A friend.”

Today’s ubiquitous tears welled again, and I blinked quickly.

Hurriedly, he said, “All right, I have two pieces of news. The first is, I talked to Gabe about the DNA test.”

My mouth fell open. I’d been so busy agonizing over our relationship, I hadn’t even thought about the fact that Richard had only just discovered Gabriel might not be his father. First, Diane had dropped her bombshell, then I’d made it a double whammy by calling off our engagement. Could my timing have been any worse?

Added to that, I felt underhanded, because I’d known since Monday night that Gabriel had agreed to the test. I’d seen Richard’s father twice since the two men had last spoken to each other. Should I tell Richard? It would upset him, and I’d already done enough of that tonight. But nor did I want to deceive him. Nervously I said, “How did he take the news that he might not be your real father?”

“He swore a blue streak and said he could throttle Mom. Guess he had a right to be mad.”

I remembered something Gabriel had said. “He wasn’t mad at you, though, was he? I mean, he knew it was Diane’s fault, not yours.”

“I guess.” He shoved his glasses up. “Anyhow, I told him I wanted a DNA test. I was a little surprised when he asked why, because I figured he’d want it too. So I told him about…” His voice trailed off and he shook his head bemusedly. “I wanted the test so you and I would know what we were getting into when we got married. We’d know about any genetic problems that might affect our kids.” He stared across at me, his eyes looking unbearably sad behind his lenses. “But none of that’s important now.”

The world had changed, and we were both only beginning to realize all the things that had been affected. A few minutes ago I’d been hungry but now my stomach was churning. What I wanted most in the world was for this day to be over.

No, what I wanted most was to end the day with a realistic hope Richard and I could make a friendship work.

I leaned toward him and asked, “Do you still want the test?”

He blinked a couple of times, like he was refocusing. “Of course. I went to the lab yesterday and Gabe said he would, too. We should have the results next Monday. Yes, I need to know who I am, where I came from.” Narrowing his eyes, he added, “I will marry one day. And have children, too.”

Richard’s sharp tone suggested he wanted to hurt me, but his words actually had the opposite effect. Yes, I felt a twinge of jealousy but, much more than that, I was relieved. He was looking ahead to the future. I really did want him to find someone else and be happy with her. My mind knew that, even if my heart felt wounded by the idea. “Yes, you will.”

“That thought doesn’t even make you jealous, does it? Damn, Iz.”

What could I possibly say to that? Likely nothing that would help, so I decided not to try. “What did Gabriel say about the test?”

“He agreed. Why wouldn’t he?”

“This must be hard for him, too.”

“Why would he care? If I’m his kid, nothing’s changed for him. If I’m not, he’s off the hook and doesn’t owe me anything. He won’t have to bother with me any more.” Although he tried to sound cynical, I could hear the pain in his voice.

Gabriel had told me he loved Richard. Why on earth couldn’t he tell his son? “Or maybe the two of you can move on and find a new relationship.”

He cocked a skeptical eyebrow, then shrugged. “Whatever. There’s no point speculating. I’ll get the test results, I’ll tell him, then we’ll both do whatever we want to do.”

“You’re going to tell him?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“Did he ask you to? Are you sure he wants to know?”

He picked up his knife and fork and sliced into a piece of tandoori chicken, then paused. “I never thought about it. Maybe I should ask. But I’ll tell Diane and Frank. And you, I guess, if I can get my head around this friendship idea of yours. It’s not like it’ll be a secret.”

As for secrets, I had to tell Richard at least part of the truth. After all, Gabriel might mention we’d been talking. “I didn’t tell you, I saw your f—Gabriel this week.”

“You saw Gabe?” He paused with his fork halfway to his mouth. “Oh, to do with Jimmy Lee’s case? How’s that going anyhow?”

“As well as can be expected, I guess. But no, Richard, Gabriel came to the clinic. He found a dog that had been hit by a car, and brought it in.”