Finding Eden (A Sign of Love Novel)(76)

We sat down to eat dinner and Eden's loving eyes watched me as I ate the food she'd cooked, and it seemed to bring her joy and make her shine brighter, so I ate three helpings even though I was full after two.
Later that night, I snuck out of the guest room and into Eden's room and climbed into her small, pink, twin-sized bed.
I pulled Eden into my chest and her hand wandered to my briefs and I sucked in a breath, instantly hard. But when I moved over her, the bed squeaked so loudly that I froze. If I took her as hard and vigorously as my body was screaming at me to do, the whole neighborhood would be woken up. I had to wonder if Carolyn had switched out the mattress while we were brushing our teeth.
Eden's wide eyes met mine in the semi-darkness of the room and her face contorted in laughter as she brought her hand to her mouth so as not to make any noise. I grinned down at her, holding back my laughter, too.
After we'd collected ourselves, we moved down to the floor. "We're always having to sneak around," I whispered against her lips.
"This is different," she whispered back.
"I know." I still didn't like it though.
I made love to her on the floor of her bedroom like two sneaky teenagers, a blanket beneath us. Although we had to be quiet, and it wasn't a bed of our own like I would have preferred, we were together and that was enough. She put her hand to my cheek and gazed into my eyes lovingly as our bodies joined, and I found the deep peace I always did when I was connected to Eden.
We both fell over the edge of bliss together, breathing against each other's mouths in order to be as quiet as possible. I put my face into her neck as I slowly came down, and her hands ran over my back, kneading the muscles there. I sighed happily and pulled out of her.
We lay like that for a little while, me nuzzling into her, and her stroking my skin.
"I wanted our baby so badly," she said after a little while.
I could only imagine that each time I came inside her, a part of her would acknowledge I wouldn't get her pregnant, that it wasn't possible anymore. My heart twisted and I leaned up on the arm that wasn't under her. Her face was filled with sadness. I leaned down and kissed her forehead. "I know. I did, too," I said quietly.
"I had come to some kind of peace about not being able to have any more." She paused and I waited for her to go on. "I had thought to myself that there was almost something . . . right about the fact that your baby was the only one I'd ever carry, even if I didn't get to keep it." She was quiet again. "But now, I have you back and it's like I'm grieving it all over again."
I pushed her hair aside. "I understand. I'd do anything to change it, Morning Glory." I leaned down and kissed her. "And, like I said, we will have kids if you want them. Somehow. We'll adopt. Whatever you want. Anything. I'll do anything to give you everything you want from this life."
She let out a small sniffle. "I know you will."
We lay holding each other for a little while, me staring at the back of her closet door, wondering at all the stuff she had pinned up on the other side.
"Tell me more about what you were researching about Hector," I said quietly.
Eden snuggled against my body. I smiled into her hair and pulled her in close.
We were quiet for a minute before Eden finally said, "I started looking into Hector because I just figured, who knows more about the religion we now know he created, than me? Us? The news always seemed so perplexed about it all, and I had all these answers to their questions, and I almost felt like it was my duty to look into a few things if I could, you know?" There was almost an excitement in her voice, and her body stilled as she seemed to go deep in thought.
I was silent, running my fingers up and down the smooth skin of her arm. "Did you mention any of it to the police today?"