Finding Eden (A Sign of Love Novel)(31)

Xander studied me for a minute and then nodded. "He should be the one here right now," he said.
I shook my head. "No. I hated leaving him, but after everything, I'd never forgive myself if he didn't have this opportunity again. His art. His destiny," I finished on a whisper.
Xander pressed his lips together. "It saved him once, you know." He looked off over my shoulder again. "After that day on the roof, I didn't know what else to do. I went to an art supply store and spent money we didn't really have to buy every supply I could think of. I brought them home and he didn't seem interested, but the next day I came home and he'd painted something. I recognized it as part of that spring where you two always met."
Tears filled my eyes this time. I couldn't help it.
Xander sighed. "Each day I came home, he'd painted a little bit more. After a while, it was all he did. You. Over and over and over. It was like it was the one thing that brought you back to him, at least in some way."
But he never painted my face, I thought, wondering why. Had he been unable to?
Xander took in a deep breath. "I'm the one who encouraged him to take an art class at the community college. The teacher there saw his talent and called her friend, Madison, who owns the gallery he's at tonight." Xander looked at me guiltily. "She was very obviously interested in him, right from the beginning. I mean, more than just his art. I encouraged it, Eden. I encouraged him to try to find some happiness with her. I encouraged him to give Madison a chance. Truth be told, I practically pushed him to it." He grimaced and looked down.
"You couldn't have known," I said softly, my heart hurting. "You're his friend. You love him. You were only trying to help him move forward." Tonight had been his opening night at Madison's gallery. If I was doing the math correctly, did that mean they'd been together a few months? Half a year? I didn't ask Xander. I didn't think I wanted to know.
Xander scrubbed a hand down his face. "Yeah. And now? God, this is all so incredibly unbelievable."
I laughed softly and raised my teacup in the air, furrowing my brow at the ridiculousness and tragedy of it all. If I didn't laugh, I was going to cry more tears I didn't think I had.
"Calder, he's . . . the same, but he's different. It's like he's been so damned destructive recently. He bought himself this beat-up motorcycle and he drives it without a helmet, too fast. He volunteers to do the roofing on our job sites, not because he enjoys it, but because it's the most dangerous part." He brought his eyes to mine. "It's almost like he doesn't actually want to take his own life, but he doesn't fear death either. He tempts fate at every turn by taking these crazy risks." He let out a deep breath and I could see how much it affected him. I couldn't blame him. Calder was all he had.
"Xander," I said and sighed sadly not knowing what else to say.
His phone suddenly dinged, indicating a text. Xander shook his head as if to bring himself to the here and now and glanced down at it. "He's home," he said.
"Already?" I asked, looking at the clock on my mom's mantle. It'd only been two hours since we'd left the gallery.
"I'm surprised he lasted that long," Xander said, standing. "Come on, I'll drive you." He took me in a hug and said softly, "I'm so damn glad to have you back, Eden." His voice was choked with emotion. I hugged him back tightly.
Despite my mother's hand wringing, I got back into Xander's truck and hugged him again when he dropped me off in front of Calder's building, waiting until he saw me enter the main doors. I waited for the elevator for a minute, my mind reeling. I didn't know if Calder was off limits because of Madison, but I desperately needed to be in his arms. I needed him. But had he found a way to do as Xander encouraged? Had he moved on? When the elevator didn't immediately come, I ran up all fifteen flights of stairs.