Finding Eden (A Sign of Love Novel)(118)

I was still shaking, trying to get a hold of my emotions, trying to calm my racing heart. Naturally, Calder was devastated by what he'd just learned, I was sure even more so than me. I prayed the shower would give him a little time to compose himself and figure out what he was feeling. I was so eager to comfort him, but didn’t really know how. Every minute spent waiting for him hurt, but I knew in my heart he needed to be by himself for now. How much more betrayal could this man take? He was sold by his father. For alcohol and gambling money. My mind still reeled. How could anyone do that to such a beautiful boy? I wanted to fall down on my knees and sob. But I wouldn't. I would hold myself together for Calder. I would be his strong morning glory.
Fifteen minutes later, Calder came out of the bathroom and looked at me. His eyes were rimmed in red and I thought he'd been crying. My heart squeezed in pain and I stood up to go to him.
"You should take a shower," he said, numbly. "Wash him, that smell, off you. I can't stand it."
I blinked at him, but nodded. "Are you—" I started.
"Please, Eden," he said, his expression miserable, his voice extra raspy.
We stared at each other for a few seconds and then I nodded again and he moved out of the way as I passed him. When I glanced down at his hands, I saw that they were still shaking. Oh, Calder. It felt like my heart was breaking, so I could barely imagine what his was doing.
I shut the bathroom door behind me and took a long, hot shower, washing my hair three times and scrubbing my skin with a washcloth until it stung.
When I opened the door to the room, wearing only a towel, I looked around. It was empty. Calder had left.



CHAPTER NINETEEN


Eden



I lay awake on the hotel room bed, not moving a muscle, listening to the soft whir of the fan I had left on in the bathroom. Calder had taken the car and gone somewhere. I knew he wouldn't desert me, pregnant and alone here in the middle of a state I'd never been to before. He wouldn't. We'd been through much worse than this, and Calder had always sought to protect me. I refused to believe this had broken him for good. Yes, it was horrifyingly awful, unthinkable, devastating, and sick on so many levels, I hadn't even tried to count. But we'd deal with the emotions of it together—we'd have to. What other choice was there?
I thought about texting Xander, but I couldn't bring myself to give him part of the story and leave him hanging. That wouldn't be fair. And I couldn't bear to talk to him about Morris when I hadn't even talked to Calder about him yet.
I lay there, feeling broken. I put my hand on my belly and drew strength from that small part of me deep inside, the tiny group of cells forming into a human, another heart beating in the depths of my body. My hand felt warm on my own skin.
Hours later, I finally heard footsteps coming toward the door on the cement walkway outside. They sounded unsteady and off-balance and I narrowed my eyes. The door clicked and Calder pushed it open, swaying very slightly, a dark shadow in front of the pale light of the lit hallway behind him. I sat up, holding a pillow on my lap, my arms wrapped around it.
Calder came into the room and kicked the door shut behind him. "Hi," he mumbled, walking toward me. He obviously had been drinking, his walk unsteady, his eyes sleepy. He fell onto the edge of the bed and groaned softly. I remained quiet. After a minute he looked toward me, squinting with one eye. "You mad at me, Morning Glory?"
I huffed out a breath. "Did it help?" I asked. "Drinking alone at a bar? Did it help?"
Calder kept squinting at me, looking as if he was working out a puzzle in his brain. "I didn't know what else to do."
"You could have stayed here. You could have talked to me about your feelings."