Fighting the Flames (Firefighter Romance #1)(4)

It appeared so. Jessie remembered her dad being quiet in the weeks before he died. She’d asked him once if he was okay and he’d replied, “Just tired.” Now, she wondered if his heart had died when his lover did.

Jessie had been so angry, so hurt, so aggrieved. Her father, the man she trusted most in the entire universe had kept a secret for over twenty years. Then, her heart had broken for her mom, wondering if she had known. And if she had, how she lived knowing he loved another.

Then, Jessie’s final emotion was deep sadness. Her dad had stayed with one woman while longing for another. How difficult must it have been for him? Were she and her sister the only reason he stayed? Had their existence kept him stuck in a life he never wanted?

In the end, it was easier to feel betrayed, easier to be angry. It was easier to feel wronged when she realized Derrick had been cheating too.

Tears filled her eyes as she crossed over the state line and her shoulders hitched from the sobs raging inside her. There was a rest stop a mile ahead and she made that her destination. Once safely in the parking slot, she laid her head on the steering wheel and cried until her sorrow ran itself out.





Chapter 3


The road ahead called to her and she wondered which turn, which milepost would be the point of no return. She was glad to be traveling west, with the orange dawn of a new day at her back. It was comforting, almost soul cleansing… nearly as purifying as the tears that washed the pain from her heart just moments ago.

She stared ahead, moving forward, her hands more confident on the wheel. She needed a new beginning, or at least a new fresh start. Even with her conflicted thoughts still swirling inside her, she knew she was doing the right thing.

She’d given Derrick her word, told him she would spend the summer thinking about his proposal. The very least she could do was listen. Besides, the time they spent apart could have made them grow stronger. She realized she’d spent too much time thinking about the hurt he had caused her and not enough on the years of happiness they had spent together.

Why do people do that? Focus on the bad and allow it to create a cloud over the good?

She turned on the radio, needing something other than her thoughts to fill the space around her. She turned it immediately, as soon as she recognized Misery Loves Company. Clearly, the radio gods were conspiring against her, because Longina comes on next, the first song Derrick sang to her so long ago…

In the mysterious language of your eyes,

There’s a theme that highlights tenderness.


In the sensuous lines of your beautiful body,

Your wonderful curves awaken a dream.

And the cadence of your voice so transparent

So smooth and silvery of undiscovered idealism.

I’m smitten by all of your charms,

You affect my lyrical poem and you are my inspiration.

With your body edged in beauty,

Your dreamy eyes and angelic face;

Because of your pearly smile,

Your masterful look and your graceful walk,

I compare you to a heavenly saint.

Longina, as alluring as a spring flower,

I offer you my poetic words,

With fibers from my soul.

Shit! Why that song? Of all the songs the station could play. Was it a sign?

She and Derrick had just made love for the first time when this song began to play. He had pulled her into his side and sang the lyrics into her hair. She’d known in that moment he was the man she would marry, knew he would be the father of her children. Their connection was so strong. It felt impenetrable.

But it was. The crack must have been very small at first. Then, her grief over her father’s death and his betrayal had caused the crack to open worse. All relationships… all people are damaged in one way or another. She now knew for certain leaving Ryan was for the best. He only got to see the good side of her… never the broken side that would lead to regret.

She knew tomorrow would be difficult, but she simply wanted to get to her sister’s house and relax just a little. She could drink some wine while she listened to the familiar cadence of Lisa riding her about her stupid decisions. She was willing to give Derrick a second chance. She couldn’t live with the ‘what ifs’ if she didn’t. She’d always wonder if she’d thrown away something beautiful because of his one-time lapse in judgment.

Trusting him would be difficult, but he deserved it… they deserved it. Besides, who was she to judge? It’s not as if she hadn’t just spent the entire summer “cheating” on him. Plus, Jessie was horrific those last few months, before he’d sought comfort in the arms of another woman.

Jessie paused for a moment, a new thought crossing her mind. What if Derrick was over her? What if her absence hadn’t made his heart grow fonder? What then?

Those questions were interrupted when she arrived at the old familiar gas station and café she’d known since she was a child, taking trips with her mom and dad to the beach house. The café called her name and she decided to grab a bite and fill her tank. She didn’t want to bother her sister this early in the morning. Her sister still expected her later in the morning.

She felt a certain sense of nostalgia as she looked at the red and white checkered vinyl tablecloths and the dark wood paneling on the wall. It’s amazing that almost nothing had changed here for as long as she could remember. Not even the menu, the yellowed plastic covering curled and frayed.