Fighting Solitude (On The Ropes #3)(82)

I reached forward and snatched my letter from his fingers. “What I know is that you had no right to read that. Those were her final words to me. They don’t need to make sense to you.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, and I watched his anger disappear right before my eyes. A small humor-filled smile crept across his face.

“So you think it’s completely coincidental that she used twenty-seven words that start with the letter Q in your letter? And I’d like to point out, while I didn’t go to college, I’m pretty sure she spelled quintessentially wrong and I don’t even think qat is a real word.”

I opened my mouth to reply then quickly closed it. I’d actually never thought of it before. Mia had been crazy. Her letter might not have been a work of art by Shakespeare, but it had comforted me on many nights over the years. I’d never once questioned her motives when she’d written it. Now…

Quarry slowly approached, pinning me against the wall with his hard body. Tenderly cupping my cheek, he whispered, “I suppose you also think it’s a complete coincidence that my letter clearly states that I should ‘move on and live.’ Again, I’m not nearly as well educated as you are…but after seeing your letter, it’s not f*cking lost on me that your name happens to be Liv and my nickname is Q.”

My breath caught, and my eyes began to sting. I had no idea what to say.

Quarry did.

“We’re not wrong, Rocky. I have no idea what the f*ck kind of game she was playing. Or why she would have even attempted to play it. But I’m sorry, it says something that, even in her last days, she gave that to us. I know you, and while I can tell you’ve put that guilt aside and committed to me, I’d bet my f*cking bank account that it’s still hidden inside that beautiful mind of yours somewhere.”

At that, my eyes didn’t just burn—they leaked. He knew me well. No matter what the price, I’d decided I was going to be with Quarry. But there was always going to be a tinge of guilt over the fact that a part of me had wanted him even while she’d been alive. I was suddenly realizing that it wasn’t nearly the betrayal I’d made it out to be. Mia had obviously recognized it, and better yet, she’d known I’d loved her enough that I never would have made a move on him. She’d trusted me. That alone set me free. I should have known she hadn’t been stupid. No, Mia March had been an incredible—albeit slightly twisted—person. This stupid letter crap was merely her way of giving me permission to have the one thing I’d always wanted.

Him.

“Why was she so freaking weird?” I asked through tears. “She couldn’t just say, ‘Hey, it’s okay if you two want to hook up.’”

Quarry chuckled, pulling me tight against his chest. “No, because I’m pretty sure she would not be okay with us hooking up. She’d find a way to cut my nuts off from the great beyond if she thought I was just f*cking you.”

I laughed through tears. “She totally would.”

“She wanted us to be happy, Liv,” he whispered, brushing his lips against mine. “And she knew that, after she was gone, you were the only person who would ever be able to give that to me.” He released me and crouched down so we were eye to eye. Holding my gaze, he swore, “She was right. No one in the world could have pulled me out of the darkness, time and time again, the way you have. I don’t know why you and I had to suffer to get here, but this right here is how it was always supposed to be. I’ve never been able to find a purpose in her death before, but those letters, the way I feel right now, knowing I can finally have all of you… I can’t help but feel like maybe this was her purpose. This was the madness we had to overcome in order to finally realize we were meant for each other.”

Staring into the hazel eyes that had always owned my heart, I couldn’t help but agree with him.

I sniffled and dropped my forehead to his chest. “Qat is a word.”

He chuckled. “Learn something new every day.”

After gliding my hands up his chest, I circled my arms around his neck, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Rocky. Every. Single. Day.”





“WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?” I bit out, pacing a path into the manicured grass. Considering I was alone and standing in front of Mia’s grave, my question went not surprisingly unanswered.

It had been a while since I’d been out to the cemetery, but after dropping Liv off at the new house, I knew that it was time for a special trip.

“Those letters were the most ridiculous play I have ever seen. Do you have any idea how hard I’ve had to work to convince her that we weren’t having an affair on you? For f*ck’s sake, Mia. You really could have saved me a lot of trouble if you’d stopped with the mind games.” I stilled, glancing down at the small stone that marked her final resting spot. At the sight, the pain still sliced through me, but a smile grew on my face. “Thank you,” I whispered into the cold, dark night. My breath formed a puff of white, and as it dissipated, it took a lifetime of pain along with it. “Thank you so f*cking much for her.”

I stood there for a few minutes longer, trying to find words to express my gratitude for the way Mia March had touched my life.

For keeping me in line as a teen when I’d thought that, at any minute, the world was going to crumble at my feet.