Fighting Solitude (On The Ropes #3)(46)

I couldn’t swallow those moments anymore. They were acid to my soul, secretly devouring me from the inside out.

Unlike Liv, I wasn’t doing such a stellar job at hiding my problems. With a title fight only months away, I was pushing my body to the limits. My mind just wouldn’t follow. Till and Slate had both been riding my ass about my head not being in the ring, but I was falling apart. I’d taken punches that never should have touched me during training, and if Davenport had thrown them, I would have landed flat on the mat.

I couldn’t stop thinking about her.

Nor could I figure out a way to get her back.

Without her, for the first time in my entire life, I was truly trapped in the solitude of my mind—alone.

It was past eleven as I shadow-boxed in the ring. The gym was empty. Till had left hours earlier instructing me to lock up when I left, but I didn’t have anywhere to go. Alone was alone everywhere. At least, at the gym, I could distract myself from the flames in my chest.

Jab.

Duck.

Jab.

Duck.

Jab.

“Shit!” I yelled as Liv suddenly stepped in front of me.

“What are you doing?” Her mouth moved with her hands because she knew I didn’t wear my hearing aids in the gym.

I dropped my hands. “Well, hello to you too. What are you doing here?”

“I was driving home from work and saw your car. It’s late.”

I briefly swept my eyes over her. She must have taken her shoes off outside the ring to keep from damaging the mat, but she was still in the same short, turquoise dress she’d been wearing that morning. It was sexy as hell. Probably yet another reason I hadn’t wanted to head home.

“Big fight. Long hours,” I stated, unraveling the wraps on my hands.

“Come on. Let’s go home. Long hours mean you need more sleep.”

“Nah. I’m good,” I replied. “I’ll see you in the morning.” I ended the conversation by giving her my back.

Much to my surprise, and my disappointment, she left.

At least I thought she did.

Not even a full minute later, she crawled back into the ring.

Resting my arms on the top rope, I leaned against the corner padding. “What?”

She opened her hand to reveal the hearing aids she must have retrieved from my locker.

Great. “I don’t feel like talking. Go home.”

“Put them in.” she demanded.

With a sigh, I relented. It was a worthless fight. I’d listen to anything she had to say if it got her out of there any quicker—or made her stay forever.

When I got them situated, Liv started in.

“What the hell is going on with you?”

Stabbing a thumb into my chest, I argued, “Me? You’ve been avoiding me for weeks. And you show up here wanting to know what’s wrong with me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you.”

“Seriously? You’re going to lie to my face?”

Her eyes narrowed. “Fine. I won’t lie. Flint called. He was worried you were still here, and I told him I’d come get you and force you to get some rest.”

“Tell Flint to drag his own ass down here if he’s so worried next time. Babysitting is not part of your job description.”

“Are you kidding me?” She threw her arms out to the sides in frustration. “Babysitting you is my only job description.”

“Wow! The truth comes out.”

“Oh, shut up. Quit whining and get your shit so we can go home,” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest.

A humorless laugh bellowed from my chest. “Tell Flint I wasn’t here and f*cking leave. I’m not doing this with you, Nanny James.”

Unmoving, we defiantly stared at each other.

After several minutes, her mask finally slipped and I saw my Rocky for the first time since the Gala. A rush of relief filled my chest.

Her body didn’t move an inch, but her face crumbled. “What’s happening to us?”

It was a valid question, but one she had no right to ask. She held all the answers.

I erupted. “I have no f*cking idea!” Storming forward, I cornered her against the ropes. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks! Stop with the games and just tell me what the f*ck I did wrong so I can fix it,” I seethed through clenched teeth.

Never one to back down, she pushed up on her toes and got in my face. “You can’t fix it!”

Her mouth was only inches from mine, but frustration overrode my desires.

“You don’t know that! Let me try. I’ve apologized a million times for that bullshit—”

I stopped talking when she suddenly flinched. I don’t even think she realized she had done it, but it was probably the most honest answer she was ever going to give me.

Lowering back down to her heels, she looked away. “You can stop beating yourself up about it. I’m not mad that you copped a feel.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t make this a joke.”

Her eyes lifted to mine. That f*cking mask she’d been using to keep herself isolated from me fell right back into place. “What else would you consider this? I woke up to you asleep and tweaking my nipple. That’s funny, Q!”

“It’s not—wait. What?” Every muscle I possessed flexed as my body roared to life.