Fighting Solitude (On The Ropes #3)(20)

Dropping her head against the headrest, she whispered at the windshield, “Her parents told me she left letters for us. We can pick them up whenever we’re ready.”

“I don’t want a f*cking letter. She lied. She’s sorry. I got it. Nothing left to say.”

“Maybe it will explain stuff though. It might help.”

My angry gaze jumped to her, but she was still staring out the window.

“Will it bring her back?” I asked. “No? Then I don’t need a goddamn letter. Fuck that. Fuck her parents too. I don’t want shit from them.”

“They didn’t kill her, Quarry.”

“How can you say that?”

Her eyes finally met mine. “It was what Mia wanted. She signed the Do Not Resuscitate order, not them.”

“What the f*ck are you doing here? Please, God, tell me you are not actually siding with them? Because, if I recall correctly, we both begged them not to give up on her. They didn’t give a shit about anyone. Liv, they didn’t even get a second opinion.”

“I’m not siding with anyone but Mia. She made a choice. We have to respect it.” Her expression was emotionless, even though her voice trembled.

“Respect it? Fuck her shitty choice. She should have respected me enough to let me have a say.”

She laughed without humor. “You never would have let her go, Q.”

I slammed the heel of my palm against the steering wheel. “You’re goddamn right I wouldn’t have!”

“She had brain cancer. It was going to happen one way or another. She knew it. And she made a decision. We don’t get to be mad about that.”

“Get the f*ck out of my car.”

“No. Listen to me—”

“I’ll start listening the moment you stop spouting the bullshit her parents shoved down your throat tonight.”

She raised her voice for the first time all day. “It’s the truth!”

“It’s bullshit! All of it. How am I supposed to respect the fact that she lied to me for six months? Six f*cking months that I could have used to prepare for this.”

“Oh my God, Quarry!” she yelled, exasperated. “Do you seriously think six months could have ever prepared you for this? I could have known since the day I met her and I still wouldn’t have been ready to lose her.”

“I could have tried! I could have spent that time devoted to being with her instead of traveling to fights. Jesus Christ, Liv, last weekend, I went out with the guys from the gym to play pool. The last f*cking Saturday night of her life on this Earth and I was shooting pool with a bunch of *s I can barely stand. Six months she kept the fact that she was dying a secret. Six. Fucking. Months. You’re right. I wouldn’t have been ready to let her go, but at least I could have figured out how to say goodbye. Instead, all I got was to squeeze her hand, say, ‘I love you,’ and then be escorted out of the hospital by security. Fuck!”

“That’s because you were acting like a fool and threatening her family! That was your choice!”

“Get the f*ck out of my car. Now!”

“And it’s also the reason you got thrown out of the visitation tonight. Get your shit together or you won’t be allowed at the funeral tomorrow.”

“I don’t want to go to the funeral!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, making her flinch. “I don’t want there to be a funeral at all. Now, I’m serious. Get. The f*ck. Out. Of my car.”

Through gritted teeth, she seethed, “You know what I’ll never understand? How you claim to be so in love with her, but in this entire conversation, I haven’t heard you say a single word that wasn’t about you. How this affects you. How this hurt you. Last time I checked, you aren’t the one being buried tomorrow.”

“I wish I were!”

“Fuck you! The world doesn’t revolve around Quarry Page!” With that, she jumped out and slammed the door.

I didn’t even wait for her to make it to the sidewalk before I was peeling out of the parking lot.

Fuck her.

Who the f*ck is she to say that shit to me?

Had she forgotten that Mia had lied to her too?

What about how many times she’d begged Mia’s parents to give it a few more days before taking her off life support? No. That must have somehow magically slipped her goddamn mind.

None of it was about me. It was all about Mia and the absolute hell she’d chosen to put us through.

How dare Liv try to act like I was the one being selfish? God forbid I’d wanted to know that my girlfriend was dying. Or, better yet, have a chance to fight to keep her alive.

That doesn’t make me selfish.

It makes me a man.

I could barely contain my anger as I whipped my car around and headed back toward her apartment. I had every intention of stomping up those stairs and telling her just what I thought about the bullshit she’d been spewing, but the moment I slammed my car into park, my temper disappeared.

Liv was crumpled over at the foot of the stairwell. Her arms were looped around her legs, her face buried in her knees. As I opened the car door, her loud cries sliced through me.

No. Liv hadn’t forgotten anything.

She was just doing a better job at masking it than I was.

After jogging over, I lifted her off the ground and cradled her in my arms.