Fighting Fate (Fighting #7)(26)

Something normal.

“So.…? Will you go out with me on Valentine’s Day?”

I shrug casually. “I guess so.”

His eyes narrow. “Well, shit, don’t get too excited.”

“It’s a bullshit holiday.”

“I won’t argue that, but that doesn’t mean we won’t have fun, right?”

I nod into his hand.

“Good, now are you gonna let me in so I can take you to bed and return the favor you gave me earlier today?”

That’s how it is with us. An orgasm for an orgasm. Although if I were keeping score, I’d say he’s leading on the receiving end, but whatever.

Rather than answer him verbally I just turn and head for my room.

Detach and have fun.

Learn what you like.

Maybe I’ve been approaching this all wrong to begin with.

Never too late to change. Starting now.





Eight





Killian





My eyes blur with fatigue as I read about women’s rights written by an 18th century feminist for my World Lit class. It’s close to midnight, and I’m considering calling it a night when my cell chimes with a new text.

I pull my glasses off, rub my eyes, and then pop them back on to read it.

Hey. Are you up?





Yes.


Got a second to talk?





Sure.


I palm my phone, and when it chimes, I hit “accept” and press it to my ear. “Ax, what’s up? Everything okay?”

“Fine, yeah.” She’s whispering. “What’re you doing?”

Pushing up from the table, I take a few steps to my bed and flop on it. “Getting ready to hit the sack. You?”

“Same.”

Silence builds between us.

“You sure everything’s okay?”

“Oh, yeah, it’s just…” She sighs heavy and deep. “I wanted to talk to you about Valentine’s Day.”

My heart sinks into my stomach. “What about it?”

“I thought, I don’t know, we always spend it doing nothing and, well…”

Doing nothing? As if our time together, even doing mundane things, is nothing to her?

“Clifford made plans for us this year, so…”

Fucking fantastic. First, that prick gets her lips and her body, and now he’s taking our day. I grind my teeth. “I understand.”

“You do?”

No. “Yeah, he’s your… You guys are seeing each other, so I’d expect you to spend it together.”

“Okay, I mean as long as you’re okay with it.”

“I’ll never be okay with you seeing him, Ax.” I grip my phone tighter. “As far as I’m concerned, he’ll never be good enough for you.”

“You say that about every guy I date.”

“It’s true. You deserve so much more.”

“Like who?” she whispers.

My breath catches in my throat. She’s asking. I could just say it. I could say, “Like me.” I open my mouth, but the words stick in my throat. “Not sure anyone out there is good enough.” Not even me, but that doesn’t keep me from hoping.

“Oh.”

I pinch closed my eyes and wish I could knee myself in the balls for being such a *.

“Okay, Kill. I should get some sleep. See you tomorrow.”

“G’night.”

She hangs up, and I sit staring at the wall with the phone still pressed to my ear.

It’s time you start seeing things that are right in front of your face.

Ryder’s words flood my mind, and I wonder if he’s right. I’ve been living in a fantasy world with Axelle for so long I’ve convinced myself of things that may not exist.

How much longer will I go on like this? She’ll get married, have kids, and I’ll be sitting here on my ass, having passed up all my opportunities at happiness. Then I’ll get the privilege of watching her live happily while I drown miserably in my own regret.





Nine





Killian





No sooner does the door from my last class close behind me than I hear someone call my name. I turn to see Brynn wave and speed-walk toward me.

She’s a tiny thing, can’t be more than five-foot-two, which puts me a whole foot taller. Her pale green shirt sets off her red hair and hangs loose over a pair of tight jeans. Without sunglasses, I can see her eyes are almost the same color as her shirt.

“Sorry to bug you.” Looking up at me, she squints into the sun. “Do you have a sec?”

“Sure, what’s up?”

She chews her lip and her eyes shift off mine. “You haven’t called.”

I’m an ass. “Right, uh, about that—”

“It’s okay. It’s just… I started thinking about the way we kinda roped you into the whole triple-date thing, and I wanted you to know that if you don’t want to do this you’re totally off the hook.” Her bright eyes peer up at me, and if I’m not mistaken, I see hope reflected there.

“That’s alright, I’m, um…” This is good. I need to just do it. It’s only one date. “I’m happy to go.”