Fifty Shades of Grey(111)

"Yes, please. I worked on it last night over at Lilah's. I'll go fetch it. And yes, I'd love some tea." Kate races out of the kitchen.

Phew, Katherine Kavanagh sidetracked. I slice a bagel and pop it into the toaster. I flush remembering my very vivid dream. What on earth was that about?

Last night I found it hard to sleep. My head was buzzing with various options. I am so confused. Christian's idea of a relationship is more like a job offer. It has set hours, a job description, and a rather harsh grievance procedure. It's not how I envisaged my first romance - but, of course, Christian doesn't do romance. If I tell him I want more, he may say no... and I could jeopardize what he has offered. And this is what concerns me most, because I don't want to lose him. But I'm not sure I have the stomach to be his submissive

- deep down, it's the canes and whips that put me off. I'm a physical coward, and I will go a long way to avoid pain. I think of my dream... is that what it would be like My inner goddess jumps up and down with cheerleading pom-poms shouting yes at me.

Kate comes back into the kitchen with her laptop. I concentrate on my bagel and listen patiently as she runs through her Valedictorian speech.

I am dressed and ready when Ray arrives. I open the front door, and he's standing on the porch in his ill-fitting suit. A warm surge of gratitude and love for this uncomplicated man streaks through me, and I throw my arms around him in an uncharacteristic display of affection. He's taken-aback, bemused.

"Hey, Annie, I'm pleased to see you too," he mutters as he hugs me. Setting me back, his hands on my shoulders, he looks me up and down, his brow furrowed. "You okay, kid?"

"Of course, Dad, can't a girl be pleased to see her old man?"

He smiles, his dark eyes crinkling at the corners, and follows me into the living area.

"You look good," he says.

"This is Kate's dress." I glance down at the grey chiffon halter neck dress.

He frowns.

"Where is Kate?"

"She's gone to campus. She's giving a speech, so she has to be early."

"Should we head on over?"

"Dad, we have half an hour. Would you like some teaAnd you can tell me how everyone in Montesano is getting along. How was the drive down?"

Ray pulls his car into the campus parking lot, and we follow the stream of humanity dotted with ubiquitous black and red gowns, heading toward the sports auditorium.

"Good luck, Annie. You seem awfully nervous, do you have to do anything?"

Holy crap... why has Ray picked today to be so observant?

"No, Dad. It's a big day." And I'm going to see him.

"Yeah, my baby girl has gotten a degree. I'm proud of you, Annie."

"Aw... thanks Ray." Oh I love this man.

The sports auditorium is crowded. Ray has gone to sit with the other parents and well-wishers in the raked seating, while I make my way to my seat. I'm wearing my black gown and my cap, and I feel protected by them, anonymous. There is no one on the stage yet, but I can't seem to steady my nerves. My heart is pounding, and my breathing is shallow. He's here, somewhere. I wonder if Kate is talking to him, interrogating him maybe.

I make my way to my seat amongst fellow students whose surnames also begin with S. I am in the second row, affording me yet more anonymity. I glance behind me and spot Ray sat up high in the bleachers. I give him a wave. He self-consciously gives me a half-wave, half-salute back. I sit and wait.

The auditorium fills quickly, and the buzz of excited voices gets louder and louder. The row of seats in front fills. On either side of me, I am joined by two girls whom I don't know from a different faculty. They're obviously close friends and talk across me excitedly.