Fifty Shades Darker(151)

"A shrink."

"Oh."

We both watch, and a few minutes later they are back. Christian is carrying Leila who is wrapped in a blanket. What? I watch horrified as they all climb into the cruiser, and it speeds away.

Ethan glances at me sympathetically, and I feel desolate, completely desolate.

"Can I have something a bit stronger?" I ask Ethan, my voice small.

"Sure. What would you like?"

"A brandy. Please."

Ethan nods and retreats to the bar. I gaze through the window at the front door. Moments later Taylor emerges, climbs into the Audi, and heads off toward Escala... after Christian? I don't know.

Ethan places a large brandy in front of me.

"Come on, Steele. Let's get drunk."

Sounds like the best offer I've had in a while. We clink glasses, and I take a gulp of the burning amber liquid, the fiery heat a welcome distraction from the hideous blossoming pain in my heart.

It's late, and I feel fuzzy. Ethan and I are locked out of the apartment. He insists on walking me back to Escala, but he won't stay. He's called the friend he met earlier for a drink and arranged to crash with him.

"So, this is where the Mogul lives." Ethan whistles through his teeth, impressed.

I nod.

"Sure you don't want me to come in with you?" he asks.

"No, I need to face this - or just go to bed."

"See you tomorrow?"

"Yes. Thanks, Ethan." I hug him.

"You'll work it out, Steele," he murmurs against my ear. He releases me and watches while I head into the building.

"Laters," he calls. I offer him a weak smile and a wave then press the button to call the elevator.

The elevator doors open, and I step into Christian's apartment. Taylor is not waiting, which is unusual. Opening the double doors, I head toward the great room. Christian is on the phone, pacing the room near the piano.

"She's here," he snaps. He turns to glare at me as he switches off his phone. "Where the f*ck have you been?" he growls but doesn't make a move toward me.

Holy crap, he's angry with me? He's the one that just spent God knows how long with his loony ex-girlfriend, and he's angry with me?

"Have you been drinking?" he asks, appalled.

"A bit." I didn't think it was that obvious.

He gasps and runs his hand through his hair. "I told you to come back here." His voice is menacingly quiet. "It's now fifteen after ten. I've been worried about you."

"I went for a drink or three with Ethan while you attended to your ex," I hiss at him. "I didn't know how long you were going to be... with her."

He narrows his eyes and takes a few paces toward me but stops.

"Why do you say it that like that?"

I shrug and stare down at my fingers.

"Ana, what's wrong?" And for the first time, I hear something other than anger in his voice. What? Fear?

I swallow, trying to work out what I want to say. "Where's Leila?" I ask looking up at him."In a psychiatric hospital in Fremont," he says, and his face is scrutinizing mine. "Ana, what is it?" He moves toward me until he's standing right in front of me. "What's wrong?"

he breathes.

I shake my head. "I'm no good for you."

"What?" he breathes, his eyes widening in alarm. "Why do you think that? How can you possibly think that?"

"I can't be everything you need."