Fifty Shades Darker(108)

Christian and I are seated in a booth, poring over the menu and sipping a delicious light Frascati. When I glance up from the menu, having made my choice, Christian is gazing at me speculatively.

"What?" I ask.

"You look lovely, Anastasia. The outdoors agrees with you."

I flush. "I feel rather wind-burned to tell the truth. But I had a lovely afternoon. A perfect afternoon. Thank you."

He smiles, his eyes warm. "My pleasure," he murmurs.

"Can I ask you something?" I decide on a fact-finding mission.

"Anything, Anastasia. You know that." He cocks his head to one side, looking delicious.

"You don't seem to have many friends. Why is that?"

He shrugs and frowns. "I told you, I don't really have time. I have business associ-ates - though that's very different from friendships, I suppose. I have my family and that's it. Apart from Elena."

I ignore the mention of the bitch-troll. "No male friends your own age that you can go out with and let off steam?"

"You know how I like to let off steam, Anastasia." Christian's mouth twists. "And I've been working, building up the business." He looks puzzled. "That's all I do - except sail and fly occasionally."

"Not even in college?"

"Not really."

"Just Elena, then?"

He nods, his expression wary.

"Must be lonely."

His lips curl in a small wistful smile. "What would you like to eat?" he asks, changing the subject again.

"I'm going for the risotto."

"Good choice." Christian summons the waiter, putting an end to that conversation.

After we've placed our order, I shift uncomfortably in my seat, staring at my knotted fingers. If he's in a talking mood, I need to take advantage.

I have to talk to him about his expectations, about his, um... needs.

"Anastasia, what's wrong? Tell me."

I glance up into his concerned face.

"Tell me," he says more forcefully, and his concern evolves into what? Fear? Anger?

I take a deep breath. "I'm just worried that this isn't enough for you. You know, to let off steam."

His jaw tenses and his eyes harden. "Have I given you any indication that this isn't enough?"

"No."

"Then why do you think that?"

"I know what you're like. What you... um... need," I stutter.

He closes his eyes and rubs his forehead with long fingers.

"What do I have to do?" His voice is ominously soft as if he's angry, and my heart sinks.

"No, you misunderstand - you have been amazing, and I know it's just been a few days, but I hope I'm not forcing you to be someone you're not."

"I'm still me, Anastasia - in all my fifty shades of f*ckedupness. Yes, I have to fight the urge to be controlling... but that's my nature, how I've dealt with my life. Yes, I expect you to behave a certain way, and when you don't it's both challenging and refreshing. We still do what I like to do. You let me spank you after your outrageous bid yesterday." He smiles fondly at the memory. "I enjoy punishing you. I don't think the urge will ever go...

but I'm trying, and it's not as hard as I thought it would be."

I squirm and flush, remembering our illicit tryst in his childhood bedroom. "I didn't mind that," I whisper, smiling shyly.

"I know." His lips curl in a reluctant smile. "Neither did I. But let me tell you, Anastasia, this is all new to me and these last few days have been the best in my life. I don't want to change anything."