Fauxmance (Showmance #2)(38)
“Are you okay?” I asked quietly. Food was being served and a fancy salad with quail eggs was placed in front of me.
Julian blinked, then plastered on a pleasant smile that somehow appeared forced. “I’m perfectly fine,” he replied, lifting his fork and taking a bite of his starter.
I lost some of my confidence after that, too busy wondering what I’d done wrong. His change in demeanour baffled me, but then, I hardly knew him. Maybe this was just how he acted sometimes.
David was busy across the table, chatting with a pretty brunette, while Julian focused his attention on the blonde next to him. I was a little disappointed that he and I weren’t working as a team like we had at the last party. Now he seemed to be doing his best to ignore me.
“You’ve gone quiet,” Keith commented. He sat on the other side of me and I got the vibe he was interested. In fact, he definitely wanted to have sex with me/Elodie. It was problematic, mainly because sex wasn’t really my goal. I derived pleasure from the admiration and compliments Elodie received, the interactions she had, but I didn’t have any urge to take things further. At least, I hadn’t explored it yet.
Maybe that made me a tease. All I knew was, going home with someone wouldn’t exactly be easy. What if my wig came off midway through the act? Or what if one of my contact lenses fell out? I knew lots of women cosmetically enhanced themselves to look better with false lashes, chicken fillets, etc, but the costume was my safety net. If I took it off, I was just Ellen again.
I glanced at Keith and mustered a smile. “I’m just a little tired.”
“I’ll have to figure out a way to wake you up then.”
I knew he was flirting, but something about the statement fell flat. It didn’t make me feel good, not like when…never mind.
To be honest, I was just feeling off because Julian was acting funny.
I needed to sort myself out. He wasn’t obliged to make me the centre of his attention all the time. He probably didn’t even realise he was ignoring me since he was chatting with an attractive woman. My selfish side wanted him all for myself, but I knew I had to quit feeling that way. We were friends. I didn’t have any claim over him.
Across the room, an argument had broken out at one of the tables. It seemed Julian was right. The bride’s side of the family were good for some drama. A middle-aged woman stood, gesticulating wildly at a man who I guessed was her husband.
“That’s it! I’ve had enough of you leering at every bridesmaid who walks by. It’s humiliating!”
The man, who looked bleary-eyed and wobbly on his feet, reached for her but she pushed him away. “I wasn’t leering,” he said. “I was just looking!”
“Same thing,” she yelled and reached for her shoe. She pulled it off and threw it at his head. Thankfully, she missed and several people came and separated them. Scandalised whispers spread amid the other wedding guests.
“I heard he cheats on her all the time,” the woman Julian had been talking to said. I think I heard him call her Val. “Guess she finally lost it.”
Suddenly, I was no longer amused by the scene. I just felt bad for the woman who’d thrown her shoe at her husband. Obviously, her outburst would be the subject of gossip for many weeks to come.
“How does everyone feel about getting out of here? We can go back to my place,” Julian suggested. Val’s eyes lit up at the offer, as did Keith’s.
“I have to stay and take a few more shots, but you go ahead if you like,” David replied.
I didn’t particularly want to go back with Keith, but I was curious to see Julian’s flat. I knew he lived in my neighbourhood, but I hadn’t yet been invited over to his place. A few minutes later, Julian, Val, Keith, and I huddled into the back of a black cab.
I sat on one of the fold-out seats, mainly to keep my distance from Keith. He seemed like a nice guy, but I didn’t want to lead him on any more than I already had. I was directly across from Julian. He caught my eye and mouthed a question.
You okay with this?
I nodded, trying to appear casual and not wanting to come across prudish. I knew he must’ve invited people back to his flat all the time. It wasn’t a big deal to him like it was to me.
When we arrived at Julian’s building, I stepped out into the cool night air and inhaled deeply for courage. Julian was obviously going to have sex with Val. I might witness some of their foreplay. I’d never seen two people do sexual things in real life before. I couldn’t tell if that was why I was nervous, or merely because…
Because a part of me wished to be Val right now.
The realisation was sobering, but not very shocking. Julian was beautiful, charming, and kind. He was the first person to try to befriend me in a really long time. Obviously, I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t under any illusions that my attraction was reciprocated.
Sure, he’d fancied Elodie at first. But now he knew the real me, and I was certain he didn’t still feel that way.
We climbed several flights of stairs to his flat on the top floor. It was an older building, so there wasn’t a lift. I had to stop midway to take off my shoes. Keith, who was directly behind me—and I was pretty sure checking my arse the entire time—said, “I can carry you the rest of the way if you want.” His voice was low with a hint of flirtation. Again, I wasn’t feeling it. Being Elodie in a public setting was a whole lot different to being her in private. It was too close. No escape routes.