Fauxmance (Showmance #2)(20)

I arched a brow and put a hand on my hip. “Someone like me?”

“Don’t play dumb. You’re well aware of the effect you have on women. You fluster them. I’ve witnessed it plenty of times.”

“I’m just going to slot the ticket in her letterbox, no euphemism intended,” I winked. “There won’t be any flustering.”

“Do you promise?”

I swept a finger over the left side of my chest. “Cross my heart.”

Rose eyed me. “Okay, good, because I have to go meet Damon for lunch.”

“Hold on. You’re not coming with me?”

“I can’t. I already told you I have plans.”

“Fine, go. I’ll see you back at the flat later.”

“And remember, drop off the ticket and leave. Don’t knock on the door, don’t hedge to be invited in. In summation, don’t try to work your devilish charms in any way.”

“Heard and registered. No door knocking, hedging, or devilish charming shall occur. You have my word.”

I saluted her, and Rose shook her head. We exchanged a hug and then she walked in the direction of the nearest Tube station. I headed toward the address Bernice gave, the long street lined with period homes. They didn’t appear to be split up into flats either, which meant Ellen lived in one of these all by herself. How on earth did someone who worked in a bookshop afford a place like this?

But then, I remembered Elodie mentioning she lived in this area, too. Did they live together? No, that didn’t make sense, especially considering they supposedly weren’t close. Perhaps it was some kind of house share.

I climbed the steps leading to the front door of 119, eyed the letterbox, then hesitated. Rose had warned me against it, but what harm could it do to knock and present her with the ticket in person? Some part of me yearned to see her, check if she was okay. Surely, it wasn’t a good sign for a few extra people in the bookshop to freak her out so much.

Feeling spontaneous, I lifted the knocker. A moment passed. No one answered. I glanced at the window and saw the curtains twitch. Ellen peeked her head out for a second then ducked out of view.

I knocked again, and again there was no answer.

“Ellen, I came with your ticket for the show tonight. Bernice said you left it behind at the bookshop,” I called out.

More silence.

“I know you’re in there, darling. I saw you peek out just now.”

Still nothing. She must’ve been embarrassed. After another moment or two, I decided to slot it through the letterbox like originally planned, but then I heard the lock flick over. The door opened, and Ellen stood before me. She hid most of her body behind the door, and her face was slightly blotchy. Had she been crying? My heart clenched at the thought.

I knew what anxiety felt like, since I’d experienced enough of it as a kid. Mum was always up and down, always with a new boyfriend, some of them nice, others not so nice. When you lived in an unpredictable world with no security, anxiety was your ally. It warned you of coming danger. But like I said, with the help of medication, I’d since learned to manage it. If the look of Ellen was anything to go by, she was deep in the midst.

“Hi,” she said, reaching a hand out for her ticket.

“Are you okay?” I asked as I handed it over, my question edged with sympathy.

“I’m fine. Thanks for bringing this.” She sniffed, then made to close the door.

“You don’t look fine. Is there someone I can call for you? Elodie? Maybe one of your brothers?”

She must’ve heard the genuine concern in my voice because she lost some of her guardedness. “No, thank you. I’ll be o-okay.”

The quaver in her voice broke my heart, and I felt the strongest urge to comfort her. I placed my hand on the door to keep her from closing it in my face.

“My mum used to get the same thing. When I was a kid, she was pretty nervous in crowds. She self-medicated though, and that just made things worse,” I blurted, frowning at myself. I hadn’t meant to share that.

Ellen opened the door a little more. “Your mum?”

“I don’t get to see her very often anymore,” I said sadly.

She stared at me, and I tensed. Her big brown eyes seemed to have this way of looking right into your soul. I hadn’t felt that with Elodie. With Elodie, I’d gotten the sense that she was looking past me for a better option. But Ellen truly looked at you, gave you her full attention. She appeared to come to some conclusion when she said, “I’m sorry for being rude to you the other day. I wasn’t myself.”

“No apology needed. I understand.”

She shook her head. “No, you don’t.”

“Then explain it to me,” I urged.

I had no idea why I felt such a strong draw to her. Maybe because I’d spent so many hours studying her sister, who looked so much like her, I felt a connection, like I already knew her somehow.

Ellen was quiet for a long moment, her head tilted up to study me. “I’m probably going to regret this, but would you like to come inside for a cup of tea?”

I gave her a soft smile, something unfurling in my chest at the offer. She was clearly going out of her way to be kind to me, when all she probably wanted to do was close herself inside her house and wish the world away.

“I’d love to.”