Fanchon's Book(50)

No, I couldn't forget that my flesh had achieved its peak of sexual fulfillment in the very midst of the sickening outrage. Nor was my long-delayed climax any less consummate because of the gasping, shuddering, retching sensation. So the sensation must have been sexy too, although its unique and overwhelming impact-the sum of all its complexities-certainly defied analysis.

Anyway, it seemed apparent now that Kristi was detouring me gradually but firmly (and thus far with alarming success!) in a direction I didn't much care to take. What if the distressing detour turned out to be a cul-de-sac! Despite the "dungeon" episode my love for her never wavered, my desire showed no sign of erosion-and considering such immutable impassioned enslavement in the light of recent events, well, was there anything she couldn't lead me into? Wasn't it just a matter of conditioning? Dungeon after dungeon, perhaps, each more harrowing than the last and yet each with its own crowning climax, the orgasm, the carrot at the end of the stick; and every dungeon another malignant milestone in my conditioning course-until the strange craving became mine as much as hers? Oh yes, I could see our future together degenerating into just that, an eventual sharing of the dirt-and-degradation madness. A lifelong dungeon, practically. No wonder I felt uneasy about the power she held over me.

And that was my mood-uneasy-when Rosalba popped up again. Rosalba, my former maid, the deferential one, and still attracted to me as much as ever. I could tell. The moment I opened the door to let her in, I saw it in her eyes. I sensed it in the sincerity of her greeting, an effusive warmth that brought back sunny memories.

Actually, it was a pretty hectic moment and I scarcely had time to think. Kristi was out for the afternoon and Oliver had just phoned from his office to say that he had to leave the city on one of his sudden hush-hush political trips: could I pack a bag for him in a hurry?-a member of his staff would come by shortly to pick it up. So I was quite busy when Rosalba put in her surprise appearance.

It worked out nicely, however, when she volunteered to come up and help me with the packing. As a matter of fact, Rosalba insisted on taking over and doing most of the job herself. Meanwhile we had a lovely chat about old times and things, and she told me about her husband and how her marriage was going.

From what I gathered, it wasn't going well. The young man had already begun to take his new wife for granted (like all husbands?) and that was why she had left him. To teach him a lesson. Within a week or two, she was sure, he would realize what he was missing and probably come galloping after her like a lovesick stallion. And until then, well, here she was, hardly more than a bride but far from tearful about the separation; indeed she seemed happy to be on the loose, especially since it gave her the opportunity to see her good friend Madame Fanchon again.

We finished packing and got the bag downstairs just in time for the pickup. As the staff car drove away with it, I breathed a great big sigh of relief. Then, all at once, I felt a surge of something almost like wild elation: I too was separated from my husband-and wasn't it wonderful? Somehow, what with the telephone ringing and the suitcase chore to do and Rosalba dropping in so unexpectedly, the delicious import just hadn't penetrated. But now I could hardly wait for Kristi to come home and hear the good news. Oliver's secret government missions always lasted at least a few days, often stretching even a week or longer. Wouldn't my little sweetheart be thrilled at having the whole house to ourselves!

True, there was still Rosalba to reckon with; we hadn't discussed it, but I knew she had hopes of being asked to stay. And I did recall having invited her, but that seemed like ages ago-and I had no intention of letting her interfere with my pink-cloud bliss. Anyway, I couldn't make the decision now; I wanted to bathe and fix my hair and look beautiful for Kristi. After all, we had something to celebrate.