Fame, Fate, and the First Kiss(40)

“And Remy told you this?”

“No, I overheard them talking to him.”

“You seem to attract drama: lights falling, ripped wardrobe, missing kneepads, and now on-set gossip.” She laughed.

I started to laugh too but then stopped and walked farther into her trailer. “Wait, do you think . . . ?”

She waved her hand through the air. “I was kidding. Accidents happen. And people, don’t get me started on people. They talk trash on set all the time. They complain and whine. It’s part of being in a cast. I once worked with a girl who complained about every single person in every single one of her scenes to anyone who would listen. She thought she was the absolute best actress in the universe, and any time there was a mistake it was someone else’s fault. So take this for what it is: someone venting.”

“You’re right.” It’s the conclusion I had come to the day before too, but it felt better to hear her say it.

She held up a remote and pointed it at the television that was behind my head.

I turned to look and saw on the screen a frozen Amanda. “What are you watching?”

“I’m watching my audition. In some of Faith’s notes she mentioned how I performed in the audition, so I wanted to see what she was talking about because I didn’t remember.”

“Ooh, fun. Push play. I want to see your audition.” I sat down on the couch.

She pushed play, and we watched her standing in the room I remembered so well, delivering lines to a table full of people taking notes. It had been an intimidating process.

“What do you think about tomorrow being the day?” Amanda asked while the television version of herself was talking.

“The day for what?”

“Kissing. I’ll swing by your trailer after filming with Grant, you suggest a practice kissing session. I step in to show you how it’s done.”

“Oh yeah. Tomorrow is really the only day, considering we’re filming that scene the day after that.”

“Exactly.”

“Then yes, I think your plan will work.”

“It’s really your plan.”

“True. It’s a good one.” I pointed at the screen. “Does this have everybody’s audition on it or just yours?”

“I think it’s all of them. Want me to find yours?” She started fast-forwarding, her body on the television jerking and moving in fast unnatural movements. After her was a guy I didn’t recognize, obviously someone who didn’t end up making the movie.

“Ooh, look who we could’ve been acting with,” Amanda said, pushing play so we could listen. He had a deep, velvety voice. “He’s cute.”

“He’s okay,” I said. “Kind of old.”

“Not too old for me,” she said. “But speaking of cute guys, if Donavan isn’t your boy, why is he always hanging around?”

“Oh, I didn’t tell you he’s my tutor?”

“Really?” she said. “I would’ve done every last bit of my homework if I had a tutor like that. Dark hair, intense eyes, I don’t see why he can’t help you find your chemistry.”

“Stop.”

“What? He’s cute. It shouldn’t be that hard.”

“I’m not going to use him to help with my chemistry.”

“I didn’t say anything about using him. I’m talking about real feelings here, not fake ones.”

Maybe I didn’t know the difference, I’d been acting too long. “I can’t even conjure up feelings for a cat, maybe I’m not built to form attachments to living things.”

She rolled her entire head along with her eyes.

A familiar voice came onto the television, and I looked over to see that a new person was reading lines. A very familiar person. Before I could say anything, Amanda said, “Hey, that’s Faith.”

“Faith auditioned for this movie?” I asked.

“Apparently. Who knew.” She pushed fast-forward again. “Here, let me find yours. Are you one of those people who can watch yourself on television, or do you freak out?”

“I had a great drama teacher in high school who made us record monologues, watch them, and analyze our performances in front of the whole class.” I’d gotten used to seeing myself on a screen as well as using the opportunity of watching myself as a way to improve.

“Nice, because here you are.” She pushed play. As I watched, I noticed something: I had been more confident that day performing, more sure of myself, than I had been since actually landing the job.

“What’s wrong?” Amanda asked after a minute. “You were great.”

I must’ve sighed out loud while watching. I stood. “I better get to set before I’m late. Thanks for that. It was actually very helpful.”

Watching that audition had reminded me that I had earned this role. And I took that feeling and used it. The lights, the people, energized me today.

“You’re feeling it today,” Grant said during a break to move lights.

“I am. It’s like I remembered what I was doing.”

“You’re kind of hard on yourself, I’ve noticed.” He put his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “Never doubt that you’re exactly where you should be.” And as if he didn’t have the ability to be nice without ruining it, he added, “Right next to me.”