Falling for the Groomsman (Wedding Dare, #1)(18)

“Let me guess.” He crossed his arms. “The damn list again?”

“Yeah.” She lifted her chin. “You’re not on it.”

He closed his eyes for a second, his jaw flexing, and grabbed her by the hand. He dragged her inside, closed the door behind them, leaned against the door, and crossed his arms. “You’re not running away again. We need to talk about this. About what happened in Mexico. You’re obviously holding a grudge.”

“We had sex. Then we didn’t see each other.” She sat down on his bed, clinging to the comforter for dear life. “There’s nothing more to say.”

“That’s bullshit and you know it. I know you too well for you to pull that shit with me, Red.”

She glared at him, hating him right now for trying to barrel past the defenses she had in place. She didn’t like to think about that night. About how he had made her feel. But she knew he wouldn’t stop harassing her about it until he got his stupid apology out of the way. “You don’t know me at all.”

“I know enough, and there’s something I have to say.”

She sighed. “Fine. Say what you have to say and then I’m gone.”

He pressed his lips together. “I’m sorry I f*cked up all those years ago. I’m even more sorry it took me so long to contact you again. I’ve…I’ve regretted it every single day of my f*cking life.”

Oh, he did, did he? Well, tough. He could kiss her butt. She laughed, but it sounded forced even to her ears. “Oh, please. Stop trying to sound all mature and responsible in front of me. The only reason you contacted me at all now is because we’re stuck in a hotel together. So don’t act as if you made this huge step. You didn’t.”

“Okay. Fair enough. You’re right.”

“Great.” She blew out a breath and stood. “Now, if you’ll excuse me…?”

He dragged his hands down his face. “Christine, can you just let me get it all out in the open?”

“Why?” She fisted her hands. “Where was my chance to ‘get it all out’ when you ran away from me?”

He glared at her. “Fine. You’re right. Say what you need to say now. Let’s do this.”

So she could hear all the reasons he didn’t want to be with her back then? Yeah, thanks but no thanks. If she needed her self-esteem knocked down a peg, all she needed to do was call one of her exes. She didn’t need Tyler for that. “I don’t want to.”

“You need to. Yell. Scream. Hit me if you want.” He crossed his arms. “I’ll allow it.”

“You’ll allow it?” She prowled across the room and shoved his shoulders hard. He didn’t budge because he was already against the door, and also because he had so many freaking muscles. “I don’t need your permission, and I definitely don’t need to air my grievances to feel better about myself, and neither should you. Get over it. It was years ago.”

“Well, we can’t all be so lucky,” he snapped, his eyes flashing. “Only you can be so perfect.”

“Fine. You want to know what I think? What I feel? You’re supposed to be this sweet, nice, kind guy…and what are you to me? An *!” She pushed his shoulders again and he let her, not even so much as lifting a finger to defend himself. “You were my first guy, and you took me and left. You’re a…a…dick!”

His jaw flexed and he opened his mouth. “Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t…I didn’t know what I was doing back then.”

She shook her head. “You knew exactly what you were doing.”

“Not with you. Never with you.” He dragged his hands down his face again and met her eyes. “All of my life, I’ve remained in control under every situation. The one time I stopped thinking and let my emotions rule me was that night with you. When it was over, and rational thought came back, I…I panicked. I was leaving, and we were so young…and now it’s happening all over again. You get to me, Red.”

She pushed him again. “Yeah, well, did it ever occur to you I panicked back then, too? That you left me in the hallway, alone and practically naked, with no one to talk to? I couldn’t even talk to my best friend about it, because she was your freaking sister. To this day, she thinks some guy named Rick took my virginity that night in Mexico.” She swallowed hard, wishing she could stop the words from flowing out. But they were like a dam. Once released, there was no holding them back. “And now I’m supposed to stand here letting you apologize so you can feel better? Fuck you. You deserve to feel like shit about something for once in your perfect, golden life.”

“You’re right.” He swallowed hard. “I do.”

“You want to know what the worst part was? The other thing my therapist told me?” she asked, laughing and yet way too close to tearing up at the same time. Freaking fantastic. She never cried. Not anymore. “Yeah. I got one of those after you. But anyway, she told me I didn’t even want to be with anyone else, because none of them compared to you. No one will ever compare to you.”

He closed his eyes for a second. “Fuck, Red. I—”

“No.” She barely resisted the urge to stomp her foot. “Don’t you dare Red me, damn it. Go on. Say it. Say you’re sorry.”