Fall From Grace(73)

I sipped my coffee and placed the cup on my nightstand.  I started wrapping the sheets around me to get up, but then figured that it really didn’t matter if he saw me in my sleeping attire, since he had practically seen me in it every day.  “I didn’t ask that to see if Lea or Conner thought we slept together. I was just wondering if you or Lea made the coffee, exactly like I asked.”  I stood up from the bed and stretched my arms over my head.

His lips parted.  His eyes dilated, following my every movement. His expression tightened and his body stiffened more with tension.   He charged toward me, eyes blazing with anger?  Fear?  Longing?  Hate?  “Right, sure.  Well, why not, let’s talk about shit that doesn’t matter.  Lea is sleeping and I made the freaking coffee!  What is it, too strong for you?  And let me just put this out in the open, so that I don’t get accused of playing games or whatever the hell your warped mind thinks I do. I am so freaking glad I didn’t sleep with you, Grace, because you and me would be horrible. The sex would suck and I wouldn’t have to look at you and pretend you were more than a hole to stick my dick in for the next six weeks!”  Contrary, to his words, his expression flooded with hurt and he turned away from me, grabbing my robe off the closet door and then throwing it at me.

Catching the robe, I walked passed him and dropped it at his feet.  When I got in front of him, I looked him deadpan in the eyes.  “Thanks for the heads up on how sex would have been with you.  But, honestly Shane, I just wanted to know if you actually had gone out of your way to know the exact way I take my coffee, because that just would have been...sweet.”

I spun on the heels of my feet, grabbed an armful of clothes from my dresser drawers and grabbed the doorknob.

“Grace, stop.”

“Go screw yourself, Shane.”  I turned the doorknob and stood in the doorway.  “Consider your duty to babysit me done, since you stayed here last night to protect me and I still ended up hurt.”  I walked out of my room, closing the door softly behind me, more confused than ever.  I didn’t understand why Shane had said what he did, but whatever the reason, it was over and I needed to figure out what to do with the rest of this existence.

I changed into my running clothes in the bathroom and finally got the chance to wash the makeup from the night before off my face.  When I shut the faucet off, I heard the sounds of hushed voices in the kitchen.  I couldn’t help but put my ear close to the wall and listen.  Well, I am only human.

“...is driving me crazy, I can’t take the shit I said back.  She’s f*cking killing me.”

I opened the door, not wanting to hear anymore, it didn’t matter if he wanted to take back anything he said, he wasn’t important.

I rushed through the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.

“Where are you going?” Lea asked.

“For a run,” I said.

“Alone?” she asked looking from me to Shane.

“Lea.  This is New York City.  Eight million people live here, I won’t be alone,” I said walking out the front door.

I ran.  I ran and then ran some more.  I didn’t stop.  I lost count how many times I circled the park. I lost track of time, as I just ran looking for Gabriel.

When the sky had been dark for a while and my body could take no more, I sat down on an empty bench.  I knew I had a show to do with the band at ten. The thought swam distantly around in the back of my head.  I held my head in my hands and the tears finally broke free.