Fall From Grace(41)

I threw my head back laughing.  “Shots!” I agreed.

Taking hold of Lea and Conner, we shoved through the dancing crowd to our waiting drinks.  Four more shots.  Numbness; the world was perfect, pure, and my life had meaning.  I hadn’t died a thousand times over and my heart had not been ripped from my chest.

“Hey, you okay?  I have to go pee, come with,” Lea demanded slurring.

I can’t even remember walking to the bathroom.

Standing in front of the faucet, I held my hands under the icy cold stream until they burned.  Lea had gone into a stall and she was silent, very unlike her.

She walked out of the stall; slamming the door accidentally and giggled.  She came over to the faucet beside me and washed her hands.

Noticing my hands were still under the stream, she shut off my faucet and handed me a clump of paper towels.  She looked at me intently in the mirror.  “What’s going on?  What really happened with Tucker, besides Alex and his stupidity cutting your date short?”

I gave her a look, which I hoped said it all, but just to clarify, I added, “Let’s just say it was the worst date of my entire life.  End of story.”

“And, what is going on with Shane out there? The way you guys were dancing, I thought, maybe...well, it just looked intense,” she said.

I cringed.  It felt intense.  It felt good, but there’s no way I could say that.  “Lea, ever since I got here, there’s been so many intense moments that I feel like a rubber band about to snap.”

Lea grabbed my frozen hands and stared down wide-eyed at them. “Why do you do these things?”  She rubbed my hands in hers to warm them.  “You know, Grace, I haven’t really known Shane for long, but I can tell you he would be great for a one night thing and that’s it, he’s hollow when it comes to girls.  But, damn is he sexy.  Sometimes, I secretly wish I met him first, let him have his way with me, and then met Conner!”

We burst out into a fit of giggles, “Lea, I can’t.”  Okay, so I was really trying to believe that.

“So what do you want?”

“Right now, I just want Jacob to be here to give me big hug and say, ‘I’m sorry that the entire male gender of our species sucks.’ But, more than that, I need another drink so I can forgot about everything for a little while.”

When we returned, Shane was sitting at the bar with a stunning blonde.  A twinge of envy coursed through my body, but I washed it away with another drink.  I watched as he leaned in, brushing her long golden hair off her shoulder and whispered into her ear.  She ran her fingers though his hair and giggled, sliding closer against him.

I could be steadfast in the things I wanted for myself, but I would be lying to say that the passion and lust that Shane had in his eyes for me before wasn’t so very tempting.   Although seeing him with this other women just proved the fact that I was nothing special. I knew down deep in my soul that I was special to the person I was looking for. Lea slid on the barstool next to me and laughed, “Do you see that?  Girl, that could have been you!  Just think, you gave up a night of ride ‘em cowboy with Hottie McShane, for...” she looked at the empty barstool on the other side of me, “Oh, right.  No one that I can see.”

The blonde stood up, taking Shane by the hand and she led him to the dance floor.  She was all legs and cleavage.

They danced like they were the only two people in the room and I had to look away, wondering if I had looked like that just a few minutes before her.