Faking Ms. Right (Dirty Martini Running Club, #1)(71)

I walked by her empty desk, feeling the tug of missing her. Which was so odd. I’d seen her this morning. She’d be there when I went home tonight.

But it wasn’t the fact that she was home sick today that was bothering me. We were at a crossroads. Our reason for living together was gone. Svetlana was out of the picture. And chances were, Everly wasn’t going to work for me much longer. I wasn’t the least bit surprised that someone else was recruiting her. She was amazing. Cameron Whitbury would be crazy not to hire her. And if it wasn’t Cameron, it would be someone else.

I went into my office and shut the door. Sat down and rubbed my chin. My dad’s words kept echoing in my head. You’re in love with that girl.

Was I? Had I fallen in love with Everly?

The problem was, I’d never been in love before. How were you supposed to know?

I picked up my phone and called Ethan.

“Hey, Shep. Everything all right?”

“Yeah, fine. Do you have a minute?”

“Sure.”

I took a deep breath. “How do you know when you’re in love with someone?”

“Oh. That’s… okay, that’s unexpected.”

“This is fucking with my head, Ethan. I’m basically dead inside. I don’t know how any of this works.”

He laughed. “You’re not dead inside, Shep.”

“Don’t be so sure. I’m too much like Mom.”

“Are you, though?” he asked. “You’re not bitter. I know you’re not exactly effusive with your emotions. You’re not a hugger like dad.”

“Or you.”

“Yeah, or me. You keep things to yourself, but I’ve never thought you don’t feel things. Keeping it on the inside isn’t the same as not having feelings. Can I ask what brought this on?”

“Dad broke up with Svetlana last night after he caught her trying to paste herself to me in the kitchen.”

“Oh god. How is he?”

“Surprisingly, he’s okay. He didn’t realize she was using him to get to me, but he knew she wasn’t right for him. He just hadn’t admitted it out loud yet.”

“Thank god that’s over. I was starting to worry we’d made a mistake by not telling him immediately.”

I rubbed my chin again. “Me too.”

“So now you’re wondering what to do about Everly.”

“Yes.”

“It doesn’t have to be complicated, Shep. Does being with her make you happy?”

“Yes, it does, but of course it’s complicated. I convinced my assistant to move in with me and pretend to be my girlfriend. And then…”

“And then pretending wasn’t so hard because it started to feel real.”

“Exactly.”

“What are you really worried about? That her feelings aren’t real? That she’s faking it so well she has you convinced too?”

Letting out a long breath, I stared down at my desk. This was so hard to admit, I wasn’t sure if I could say it out loud. “I’m afraid once our reason for being together is gone, none if it will have been real. And I’ll…”

“You’ll get hurt.”

I cleared my throat. “Yeah.”

“That’s the thing about love, though. If you never open yourself up to the risk of being hurt, you’ll never give someone the chance to get close enough to love you back. And honestly, I don’t think you need to worry about this. Anyone who’s seen you two together can tell you’re crazy about each other.”

“Yeah. Okay, thanks Ethan.”

“Anytime. Let me know if you need anything. And I’ll call Dad and invite him to dinner tonight. See if he needs to talk.”

“Sounds good. He’ll appreciate that.”

I said goodbye and put my phone down. This was such unfamiliar territory. I’d faced financial risks, made huge business deals, and dealt with millions—even billions—of dollars. None of that had ever fazed me. I was used to being all cool confidence. Untouchable.

Everly had broken me wide open and I felt the raw edges of my exposed nerves. I’d already trusted her with so much. Why was I worried now?

Maybe Ethan was right. It didn’t have to be complicated. Being with her made me happy—happier than I’d ever been. I loved spending time with her, and I missed her when we were apart. She made me laugh—which I didn’t do all that often. She saw through right to the heart of who I was, as if she had the power to reach inside past all my barriers.

I did love her. I’d fallen a little bit in love with her every day, since that night at the gala. Since I’d opened my eyes and finally seen the incredible woman I’d been working with for the last few years.

And just like that, I knew what I was going to do. Ask her to stay.

With that settled, I felt immensely better. As much as I wanted to rush home to talk to her, I had more work to do. It could wait. I knew she’d be there waiting for me. And not just because she was sick. Because despite the fact that neither of us had acknowledged it out loud, we both knew. She was mine. I just needed to make it official.

I clicked my laptop to bring the screen back up. Once I reviewed the sales reports, I could get out of here.

Everly hadn’t sent them to me yet, but she probably had hard copies at her desk. I didn’t want to bother her, so I decided to check myself. If I didn’t find them, I could give her a call. But I didn’t want to make her think about work if I didn’t have to.