Faith & the Dead End Devils (Sweet Omegaverse, #8)(22)

And Chance would never fucking forgive me.

I dropped my shirt on the floor, left him fuming up at me in the bathroom to go grab my pants from where he'd torn them off me before throwing me onto the bed. Strengths I'd wanted from him, and could've prevented. Maybe. Did I choose to be powerless with Chance, or had he stolen all of it from me long ago?

I licked my lips as I headed for the door, his cold eyes watching me from the bathroom, his taste still on my tongue.

I'm asking you not to knock.

Because maybe he would open.

I clenched my jaw and didn't bother checking the hall as I strode out of Chance's room, feeling reckless, almost wanting to be caught with the secret I'd been hiding for so long.

I'm asking you not to knock. I wasn't making any fucking promises.





10. FAITH





Bear's unspoken reprieve in the night only lasted a few hours before I woke, sweaty and grinding on his thigh. He'd let me finish myself off without comment before dutifully sinking his fingers into me, kissing me through my moans and whimpers.

I'd lasted the rest of the night, but when I woke, it was Chance with me, not Bear.

Chance paused in his reading, taking a deep breath and then clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, aware of the cloud of perfume I was creating.

"It's fine," he said, automatically.

I shuddered and twisted in my nest. He was sitting on Bear's bed, and the mattress springs creaked as he shifted.

"Have you…have you tried any of the things Bear got you yesterday?" Chance asked, the words careful. "You don't have to answer. I just… If you want me to leave you alone for a bit, I can keep an eye on the hall."

"No!"

"Okay."

Chance cleared his throat again, lifting his book up. Just as he started to read out loud, a cramp rushed through me, curling me up into a ball and bolting dull pain in my core. I whined, and Chance's feet thumped to the floor as he hurried to my side.

"Birdy…you need me to call Bear?" Chance asked.

I didn't think it was a coincidence that Bear had left early this morning, or that as sweet as he'd been in the night, he'd also been slightly dispassionate, giving more than taking. He knew I was trying to trap him now.

"I'm calling—"

"No," I gasped out, reaching and catching Chance's hand. "No, I don't…want to bother him."

Chance scoffed. "I don't think he'd consider it a bother."

"Would you…can you curl up with me?"

There was a slight pause, and then the nest bed was dipping as Chance climbed in, wrapping himself around me. He couldn't purr and he didn't have that weighty presence like Bear’s, but he was warm against my back and held me tight to his chest. The ache in my bones remained, but the panic ebbed.

I took a deep breath, and with his fresh scent came something else. The spice that was familiar to him, but something syrupy too.

"You smell like an alpha," I said without thinking.

He stiffened against my back. "I—Sorry. I thought I… Want me to wash off?"

"It's not much. I didn't notice till just now," I said. I twisted and buried my face into his throat. "I don't mind it. You're mostly yourself."

Chance grunted. I wanted to ask why he smelled like a spicy, syrupy alpha. The scent made my mouth water, like I needed to drink it down. But he was still tense, and I'd been clumsy yesterday with Bear. I needed to do better.

"He's leaving with the others tomorrow, so…"

I blinked at that admission, at the way it made Chance tighten further. "Are you upset you have to stay because of me?"

"Relieved," he said immediately.

I wanted to know more.

"Just let people talk, they'll usually tell you everything you need to know. If they don't, offer them something vulnerable first. People like the exchange," Adam had said, coaching me through little cons as we traveled from one state to the next.

I waited, and when Chance didn't continue, I chewed over what to offer. Vulnerable. I had plenty of vulnerable places. If I offered one to someone else, would it leave me open to be hurt further, or would it lessen the burden?

"In the…place where they kept me," I started, and Chance shifted, moving back to look at my face, probably. "They wanted me to go into heat. They would pump synthetic pheromones in the room, and run…porn on a projector. They gave me toys too."

"That's sick," Chance whispered, arms tightening around me.

I nodded, ran my nose up his throat and heard the catch of his breath. I just needed to smell him, catch that whiff of alpha mixed with his scent, let it chase the sterile memories away.

"I don't want to be alone in here when I'm like this. It makes me feel like they're still watching."

"It's just us, birdy," Chance said, petting my back. "Just you and me here."

I considered finding a way to touch Chance, mostly to have him touch me back, relieve some of the ache in my core. The cramping had subsided for the moment, and I was still embarrassed about being caught out by Bear.

Chance couldn't bite me. He couldn't claim me and bond me. But this moment was comforting and hushed, and there was something selfishly beautiful in that. I didn't have to manipulate him into keeping me; I only had to let him hold me.