Fade Out (The Morganville Vampires #7)(25)

I’m not so vain as to think I don’t deserve a good ass-chewing from my coach now and then. Shit, I get it more than others most days, because I’m expected to keep on top, stay in shape. But I’m still below my weight goal, and having little feisty Ari on my mind doesn’t help there. I’m like some dumb teen punk, my stomach knotted whenever she’s near. Which is a lot lately.

Besides suddenly seeing her in the halls near my classes, she’s a booster. At all the major events, meetings, and get-togethers for the team. And she still eats lunch in the cafeteria. I think I’ve developed a crick in my neck from the strain of keeping my head from turning in her direction. I can feel her presence humming, reaching out to me, beckoning me to approach. But whenever I give in and look her way? a scowl mars the flawless, smooth skin between her eyebrows.

Shot down. Again.

I thought we were making progress at the gym. That finally telling her I wasn’t the asshat who f*cked with her car would get me some major points. But I realize I’m still the asshat who’s QB of the football team who did f*ck with her. So there’s that.

And the fact that she just doesn’t want anything to do with me. I actually became delusional, thinking, hell, she took the time to one-up me when she thought I was the jerk pranking her. That had to be some kind of twisted love/hate foreplay. But she just wanted us to stop messing with her.

Fair enough.

None of the guys have bothered her since. What’s more, they don’t make crude comments, which is good, because if Devon or Beck said one more thing about her cute ass, I was going to run my fist through their faces.

I pass my second period lecture hall, heading toward the lunchroom, my mind spinning. If Ari did accept us going out, what would that mean? Am I seriously thinking about dating her exclusively? I haven’t been that way with any girl for a long time. Who am I joking? I’ve never been that way with any girl. Haven’t been around anyone to really make me consider it for a long damn time.

Would I have noticed her if she hadn’t reminded me of the girl I did once seriously consider? I’m not sure, and that’s kind of twisted. Then there’s the other shit that goes along with getting intimate with someone. The revealing of yourself, baring your soul…all those buried skeletons creeping out to ruin anything that might be good.

And I think that’s the biggest reason right there why I never bothered. I have too much family drama for any girl to want to get involved with me seriously. Luckily, over the years, people have let it die. And I’ve worked hard to create my own rep.

It’s not really a secret…but most people don’t bring it up anymore. Anyone who knows better—and that’s everyone—knows it’s a taboo topic. I’m the only one who continues to torture myself over what happened.

Pushing the unwelcome thoughts aside, I try to decide just what the hell I’m doing with Ari. She doesn’t seem like the type to want to be f*ck buddies. Just thinking that makes my chest ache in a dumb way. I mean shit, not that I haven’t thought about it—with her layers of clothes always concealing everything from the imagination. I know there’s a hot body buried beneath, just waiting to be explored. I’d love to discover what turns her on, and do it over and over until she’s dropped all her defenses. Clawing at my back and begging me not to stop.

Fuck. My heart is ramped, kicking my chest wall. I’ve never tortured myself like this over any girl here. I was almost free and clear and out. Safe. I should’ve known my past would come back to haunt me. And in the form of my previous tormentor. Karma’s a bitch.

I’m not getting out of here without paying my dues.

Like always, I notice Ari sitting with Vanessa and the other girl Haley. I’ve moved up to stalker status, having asked around until I discovered her main crew.

And as if on cue, I see her physically stiffen, like she senses me. At least I know I do affect her—just not sure in what way. Good or bad. But I guess a guy has to use what he’s got. I pivot, leaving Gavin staring questioningly after me, and head straight for Ari’s table.

I’ve figured out Nice Guy doesn’t do it for her, so maybe bringing back Bold Asshole will work more in my favor. Just this time, with no throwing her over my shoulder. Maybe.

I pull out a chair and sit right beside her. The other two girls at the table stare openly at me, eyes wide, while Ari continues to cut the crust from her dry toast.

“So, I was thinking,” I say, scooting my chair closer to her, “that I’ve given you enough time to think it through. I’m not a patient guy, and I’m definitely not patient when I want something badly.”

I watch as she licks her lips, concentrating hard on that toast. Shit, I could get lost staring at that pouty mouth. Blinking hard once, I force my gaze up, trying to make eye contact.

She sets the plastic knife down and rolls her shoulders back. “If I haven’t, or if the answer’s no, is the team going to do a panty raid next?”

Her friends smile, and one of them—Haley—says, “Maybe we should go get some chocolate.”

“Whatever, this is getting—oomph!” Vanessa grabs her side, where I just witnessed Haley elbow her. Meeting my gaze, Vanessa says, “Right. We’re gone. Be good to our girl.” Then she and Haley remove themselves from the table.

“Traitors,” Ari says under her breath.