FADING (A novel)(51)

“After our run, I went to the gym to do some lifting. Then later, I went to the bar to work. Had to sign off on a bunch of paperwork and inventory orders. That’s pretty much it.”

I grab another beer and hand it to him so he can pop off the cap. When I start to take a drink, Ryan suggests finding something to watch on TV. I grab the remote for him, and he starts flipping through all the channels before stopping on some old black and white movie. He sets the remote down and leans back on the couch, content with his selection.

“What the heck is this?” I ask facetiously.

“You don’t know this movie?”

“Does anyone know this movie?”

He smiles at me and says, “Candace, it’s a classic.”

I shake my head at him, completely clueless.

“It’s ‘Double Indemnity’ from the 1940’s. It’s a great movie.”

“You watch a lot of these movies?”

He shakes his head at me in mock disapproval. “Sit back and just watch. You’ll like it.” I sit back into the couch, and he points to the TV as he continues. “See that girl? Her name is Phyllis and that guy is an insurance agent that she is trying to seduce.”

“Why?”

“Because she wants him to murder her husband so she can collect the money from his policy.”

“Oooh, I like her already,” I tease.

Ryan laughs at me and says, “Just watch.”

Kicking our feet up on the coffee table, we lean back and watch the movie.

?????

“Candace . . . Candace, wake up.”

Opening my eyes, I look up and see Ryan as he is whispering at me to wake up. I lie there, confused in my sleepy haze, and it takes me a moment to realize that I am lying on the couch with my head in his lap. The haze instantly disappears as I jump up, startled at the scenario. What happened? I must have completely passed out. Mixing my sleeping pill with the beer was a huge mistake.

“Are you okay?” Ryan asks as he stands up and takes a step toward me.

Feeling a bit flustered, I hold my hands out to gesture to him not to come any closer.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to leave you without you locking the door behind me. You fell asleep, and I didn’t want to wake you, so I let you sleep for a while.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“Startling easily. I didn’t know I fell asleep. I’m just . . . I was just disoriented.” I put my hands down and feeling abashed, I apologize again.

“Candace,” he says as he takes a step toward me and reaches his hand to brush back a lock of my hair off of my forehead. My body stiffens at his touch, and he quickly pulls his hand back.

“I’ll lock the door behind you,” I say to rush him out.

“Let me help you clean this up.”

Looking at the pizza box and beer bottles, I say, “I’ll do it. It’s all trash anyway.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

We walk to the door, and he turns back to look at me. He is standing so close that I have to look up at him. I have never noticed our height difference before now. I’m a little over five feet, so he stands much taller than I do. Looking me in the eyes, he quietly says, “I want you to feel comfortable with me.”

There is something about the look on his face that’s telling me he feels strongly about this, and I whisper, “I know,” because I think I feel the same way.

“Okay. So, we’ll talk later?”

Nodding my head, I say, “Yeah.”

I lock the door behind him after he leaves, and I let out a long sigh. I grab all the trash and dump it in the garbage can then go crawl into bed.

Feeling confused about Ryan, I have a hard time settling back down to sleep. My mind is all over the place, and I am not sure how to sort my thoughts out. Thank God Jase is coming back home tomorrow because I really need to talk to him. For now, I lie in bed, confounded by my thoughts as I stare into the darkness.





Chapter Eighteen


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Being alone in the house all day is driving me crazy, so I decide to head over to Jase’s even though his flight doesn’t get in for another two hours. The quiet is just a reminder of how much I miss my roommate. It’s almost as if I live alone because we hardly ever interact anymore. I do know that she will be coming back today, I just don’t know when. Before this year, we were like sisters. Even though I never really went out with her and her other friends, we always made time for each other and would constantly call and text each other. Now—nothing.

When I get to Jase’s apartment, I go lie down in his room. It has been a couple weeks since I have slept here, so his bed is a welcome comfort. I think it will always be a comfort to me. I still have trouble sleeping alone in my bed. Even with the sleeping pills, my nights are restless and filled with restless sleep, and I often have flashes of that night when I close my eyes. The flashes aren’t nearly as bad as the nightmares, but they are still a constant reminder of the turmoil in my life.

My new friendship with Ryan is not something I expected. Then again, that’s what’s got me so confused. How can I be so closed off to the world around me, yet feel comfortable with this new person? The fact that he has become good friends with Mark and Jase eases my mind, but the past few days have me questioning a lot.