Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2)(90)

I looked to Ilyan, but he still shook his head. I brushed it off, I would get answers later, besides it wasn’t just Wyn they held captive.

“And what about Talon and my Dad?”

“One thing at a time, child,” Dramin said, his voice low and comforting. “You saw her carry Ryland, so we know she will bring him. Maybe the others will be mentioned tomorrow, but at least we know of one who will be returned to us.”

“I understand.” I said and grabbed the warm mug without thinking. This was war; there were always casualties in war. I already knew I was going to be one of them. My anxiety peaked at the thought, Ilyan’s magic instantly moving to calm me. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, but I ignored the fact that I could see him.

“We will get them back, Joclyn,” Ilyan said when it was obvious I wasn’t going to acknowledge him. “But if we don’t, please do not forget what you and I have seen. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you.” Ilyan leaned forward, his voice low and meant only for me. I knew the others could still hear him, but I didn’t care. I was grateful for his comfort, his support.

“Well then,” Dramin interrupted loudly, “if that’s all settled, I am going to bed. I have been awake for seventy-eight hours, and my body is a little tired. Seeing as Joclyn’s eyes are dragging, I don’t think she is ready to face a full two days without sleep.”

Dramin stood and began to make his exit, his long black bathrobe dragging on the stone floor.

“More water, child, more water!” he called as he walked away toward his bunk.

“Good night, Dramin,” I called before taking an obligatory sip.

“Well, if Dramin’s leaving then I sure as hell don’t have to be here to watch this gush fest.” Thom did not wait for anyone to say anything more. He stood and strode away; his hands plunged into his pockets.

“Goodnight, Thom,” I called, although I knew he wouldn’t care either way.

“Whatever.” He grunted as he disappeared behind the blanket he had hung over his bunk.

I watched the blanket for a moment before turning back to my Black Water, letting it warm me.

Ilyan sat silently next to me, watching me as I took sip after sip. After a few minutes, I began to feel uncomfortable. Mostly because I knew he knew what I was doing. I took another long drink, staring him right in the eye.

“Are you ready?” he asked, softly.

Honestly, I would never be ready. I looked away from him, back to the fire, and set my mug down with a gentle clink.

“You know, with everything that has happened, you think I would be more ready,” I whispered, not wanting anyone but Ilyan to hear. “You think I would plunge into the nightmares and know exactly what’s going on and there wouldn’t be a worry or a stress about it.”

I hesitated and pulled my blanket up to my neck, trying to fight the desire to hide. Instead I watched the fire, the magical flames burning and crackling in a rainbow of colors. I kept my focus on the flame, not knowing if I wanted to meet Ilyan’s eyes.

“But every time I close my eyes, I am scared of what Cail is going to do to me. I’m scared of what he is going to make me witness. It’s the same with the T?uha. I’m scared of it too. I never know what Ryland will do to me the next time or how long he will let me stay in.”

I turned to him and extended my hand. He grabbed it eagerly, wrapping my hand in his. He leaned forward, his torso close to me as he absorbed my words.

“My body gets weaker and weaker.” Ilyan’s magic surged through my shoulder and I smiled. “I can’t control the nightmares, but I can control the T?uha. I can’t do it tonight. I can’t do it tomorrow.”

“I understand, Joclyn. And when you wake tonight and your heart is aching and your mind is screaming, I will still be here.” I leaned toward him and wrapped my arms around him, the chair awkward in between us.

“I know, Ilyan. I can’t do it without you,” I whispered in his ear, surprised when he lifted me up and swung my legs up over his other arm.

He held me against him as he moved, carrying me to my bunk. He sat me down softly, his hand sliding up to rest against my neck. His finger touched my mark and the now familiar jolt shot through me. I closed my eyes at the touch, my heart hammering, unsure of what I felt or what I wanted to feel.

“That is why I am here,” Ilyan whispered, his lips millimeters from my face. “That’s why I was born. I have waited the last thousand years so I could protect you.”

I closed my eyes and exhaled softly, his proximity making it hard for me to focus.

“Someone has to help me hold up the world.” I spoke softly, more to myself than to Ilyan, but Ilyan smiled anyway.

“Ah, you’ve been talking to Thom.” He smiled and moved to sit on the side of bunk. He pulled the heavy blankets over me, his hand resting softly on my knee.

“It took some doing to get it out of him, I’ll admit.”

“He is a very smart man. He just has a lot of pain in his heart – a lot of regret.”

“How does he know Wyn??” I asked.

“He doesn’t,” He said, his voice strained, “He knew her Mother.”

“Oh.” I guess that made sense, but that was quite the reaction he had earlier.

Ilyan looked at me, my eyes drooping further the longer he stared at me. Finally he shook his head and gently helped me to lie down, his hand smoothing over my hair. I was suddenly very worried that he was about to leave me.