Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2)(2)

“Edmund has taken something away from me too, Siln?. Ryland was my brother as much as he was your other half, your mate. I can’t help but feel that I failed you as much as I failed him.”

I wanted to yell at him for not teaching me to use my magic better, for not training me the right way. I wanted to blame him for taking me into a battle unprepared, but that wasn’t right. It wasn’t all his fault, and he didn’t deserve all the blame. It was my fault too. It was my fault we had lost Ryland.

“I failed him too, Ilyan. I failed you. I failed everyone.” I pushed the blanket away from myself as the frustration of what I was saying hit me. “All you asked me to do was get him out, and I couldn’t even do that.”

I cringed at how bitter my voice sounded, how angry each syllable tasted against my tongue.

I shifted my weight as I moved to sit, the pressure in my unwilling joints building as I moved. Ilyan reached out to help me as he came to sit next to me. My back seized and I swayed as I sat, my body torn between crying, yelling, and finding some way to disappear.

“You didn’t fail, Siln?,” Ilyan’s hand moved from mine to rest against the skin of my cheek. His touch was hot with the warmth of his powerful magic that pulsed underneath his skin. Ilyan kept his ability restrained inside of him, just the opposite of Ryland who used to comfort and heal me with every touch.

Ilyan caressed my cheek, letting his fingers trail behind my ear to rest on my mark. He kept his hand there, his eyes wide as he looked into mine. I could tell he was trying to understand what was going on inside me and I wished I could tell him, but even I didn’t know.

“I did fail,” I spoke harshly, “and now I am alone.”

I wasn’t sure if I spoke out of loss, or in anger at the new reality Edmund had made for me. Both thoughts occupied the forefront of my mind, each vying for my attention.

“You have me, Siln?, and you have Wyn. We are both here to help you through this.” I stiffened away from his touch. I knew he was right, but I was still scared to let anyone else in. My heart hurt too much. I was broken now more than ever.

“I know,” I whispered, trying to find the strength to explain. “I want him back, Ilyan. I wish...”

“I know,” Ilyan said, cutting me off softly. “I want him back too. But he is gone, Joclyn. There is no finding him. His mind has been erased.”

“Please, don’t...” I begged. I didn’t want to hear it.

I moved away from him, my body leaning against the wall.

“Why did we have to fail?”

“Everything happens for a reason, Siln?,” he said. “Perhaps we must move through this trial to meet our true purpose.” His voice had taken on the regal air that was so fitting for him as the ruler of the protectors of magic, the Sk?ítek. I cringed against his tone.

“True purpose,” I repeated, shocked to feel the flame within me grow stronger.

Ilyan ran his fingers through the stubble of hair on the back of my head, his hand moving down to my back and over the skin that was revealed by the shredded club clothes I still wore. I pulled away from his touch, my stomach twisting at his intimacy.

“What do you want to do, Joclyn? What is your true purpose?” Ilyan asked softly.

His words were like gasoline on an open flame. They burned and smoldered inside of me, igniting the need for revenge, making it stronger. The web of heartbreak and confusion shattered, the remaining fragments swallowed up by my growing determination. I could see everything before me, my true path as it was laid out.

“I want to avenge Ryland. I want to be the one to destroy Edmund LaRue.” My voice rang clear through the apartment, the power behind it causing Ilyan’s eyes to widen in shock.

“You want to fight?” Ilyan asked.

“Yes.”

“Then I will teach you everything you need to know,” Ilyan said, as my nerves jumped in anticipation. I could feel my soul piecing itself back together with the thought.

“Everything?” Before, Ilyan had only taught me the basics and it had ended badly for everyone.

“Yes, Siln?. This time you need to know everything. I had hoped that by bringing you two together I would be able to unlock your true ability. That’s why I taught you so little. I wanted to see what you could do, and it was very foolish of me. But now, Ryland has lost his memories of you and become his Father’s puppet. He is now only a weapon at Edmund’s disposal. Ryland as he is now will stop at nothing to hunt you down and kill you Joclyn. If you wish to be the one to avenge your mate, you must prepare.”

I nodded once and attempted to cast aside the last of my self-pity, my pain, and heartbreak. Though it didn’t leave, it became another fragment of the broken person I had become.

Ilyan squared his jaw and stood to face me, his hand extended toward me.

“Then come, it’s time to begin.”

I widened my eyes. He didn’t mean now, did he? But it was obvious he did. His jaw was clenched and his eyes held that maniacal power I had seen in him so many times before.

I breathed deeply, preparing myself before I took his hand. Ilyan pulled me to standing, my joints swelling in subtle pain as I moved. I stood facing him defying the pain of my long-inactive body. I had been standing for a moment before I knew something was wrong. My head swam and my body felt like it was turning on the spot, my balance leaving with the crazy motion. I shifted sideways as my body fell, Ilyan’s arms reaching out to catch me just in time.