Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2)(12)

I was still screaming as the dream faded away and the grey room that had been my prison for the last three months drifted into view. The comforter shifted as Ilyan came to my rescue. He moved to lay behind me and pulled me against his bare chest, his magic flowing into me and calming my frayed nerves. His arms were tight, pulling me against him, caressing the skin on my arms lightly. My screaming died down, but the tears remained. They flowed freely down my cheeks and onto the pillowcase, wetting a spot so soaked every night that it was stained with the salt water from my tears. It was the only time I cried anymore, the only time my emotions were raw enough to let the dratted things escape.

“Shhh… Siln?, it’s okay. To je v po?ádku.”

I leaned into Ilyan as he began to sing his song, the words whispered gently in my ear. As Ilyan sang, I sang with him, my voice shaky against my tears, the Czech words flowing roughly off of my tongue.

“Hush now child. Be still, be calm. The world will change at the new dawn. And when it does, you will see how you and I were meant to be.”

I sang it over and over again, long after Ilyan had fallen asleep, his arms still wrapped around me.

I wasn’t going to get any more sleep tonight. Ilyan’s arm around me had become a dead weight over my side. I wiggled a bit, the close contact making my nerves jump around.

I lifted his arm off me and slid from the bed and onto the floor, my knees coming up to press against my chest. I pulled my black hoodie over my knees, trapping the warmth against my body. I sat like that, fuzzy pink socks poking out, my eyes focused on the carpet that once held the dark stain of my rotten magic.

Ever since I survived the attack of my own magic on my body three months ago, I had been confined to the claustrophobic depths of the studio apartment I shared with Ilyan. I knew it was the only way to keep my magic hidden from Ryland and his father, but that didn’t help the ‘prisoner for life’ vibe it gave me. I was restrained inside of this space, Ilyan’s strong immovable shield around me at all times.

I had been trapped here with nothing to do but perfect, expand, and stretch my magic; I had thrown myself into preparing to fight, to keep myself alive for when I came face to face with Edmund. Even though I had such a strong desire to focus on, I still felt like I was dying inside; trapped between the tiny apartment of my reality and the undefined space that Ryland and I shared within our T?uha.

I couldn’t survive for very long without renewing my connection to Ryland through the T?uha. We found that out the hard way. More than a day and my body began to ache, my energy exhausted.

I reached down into my hoodie to pull out the ruby necklace Ryland had given me, knowing I needed to go visit him. As I pulled the necklace free, my finger rubbed against the scar that rested over my heart, the skin raised and jagged.

I hated that scar as much as I hated the mark below my ear, each one a painful reminder of what I had lost. But sadly, I could handle my mark better. The mark had just appeared there, it hadn’t been carved into my skin by someone I loved. Whether or not he was in his right mind at the time, it was still Ryland’s body, his face, that I saw hurt me. I sighed and moved my hand away, my fingers shaking slightly as I looked down at the glistening ruby in my hands. It had continued to be as dead as the day I passed out over a plate of bacon, no warmth, no heartbeat, nothing. The stone remained quiet, even though I used the connection every day.

Ilyan was sure that Edmund was not using the necklace to hinder the connection between us, but he had still taught me to place a weak shield in between the stone and myself.

I filled the necklace, my only connection to Ryland, with my magic. My body grew warm and filled me with the heat of Ryland’s power as his latent magic that lived inside of me awakened, the connection that allowed us to track each other. It was the same comforting warmth I had grown up with, the same feeling my body constantly craved. I wished I could feel the sensation all the time, but the magic wasn’t mine and Ryland was too far away. Besides, his magic was used for other purposes now. It was a miracle Edmund hadn’t been able to fully break the bond between us in the first place, so I would have to accept the fragments I was left with.

My magic pulsed and grew alongside Ryland’s as I pushed more and more of it into the beautiful stone. Even though I loved the sensation Ryland’s magic gave me, even though I longed to see him, I still dreaded going into the T?uha. Every time I saw Ryland inside, it was the equivalent of seeing someone through glass, never being able to truly touch them. Never knowing if you would ever be able to break the glass and get them back. It was painful, but I had to go. If I didn’t my body would waste away to nothing again.

My eyes closed and I wandered into the colorful world that lived beyond my eyelids. I had spent every morning of the last few months coming in here and coloring with Ryland, sharing our dreams, talking about stories and making up our own.

It was a place where we created new memories while our old ones lay forgotten.

Well, at least his did.

“Jossy!” I turned at his voice, a wide smile spreading across my face at his appearance. Ry bolted across the space toward me, running headlong into me so that we both fell backwards onto the hard floor.

Ryland sat up from where we landed, his pointy elbows digging into my stomach. He smiled his large grin that I loved so much, his blue eyes twinkling.

“Hey Ry, did you miss me?” I asked, pushing his long black curls out of his eyes.