Eyes of Ember (Imdalind Series #2)(108)

I slid myself between the toilet and the sink. The door on the other side of the room creaked, the voices from the hall becoming audible.

“I can’t do everything, Ilyan. Ovailia is already eyeing me, and I am not sure how much I can do for Dramin.” Thom’s voice was loud with desperation. The impact of the sound shook through me and I twitched, my hands flying up to tangle in my hair.

“We need him, Thom. The faster we know if he is going to pull through, the better. I cannot produce the Black Water and Joclyn will be needing some very soon…”

“But that’s just it, Ilyan,” Thom interrupted. “It’s almost as if he saw this coming. His room is covered with at least fifty mugs, each filled to the brim with that poison.”

“What?”

“I know. And if he saw that, then what else did he see? Especially with how Ovailia is acting.”

“Is she still not letting our brother out of her sight?”

“No. I don’t trust her, Ilyan.” Thom’s voice was heavy, hurt. I had never heard so much fear in him, I shook and sunk closer to the toilet.

“I don’t trust her eith…” Ilyan stopped talking suddenly and he swore loudly in Czech, the echoes bounding around me.

“Where did she go?” Thom asked, his question fading as Ilyan closed the door.

I didn’t hear Ilyan’s footsteps, I only felt his magic grow inside of me as he tracked me. His energy moved through me, strong and aggressive, the absence of my barrier giving his magic free rein. I gasped and moved closer against the wall, hoping to disappear behind the toilet.

The door to the bathroom opened a bit, Ilyan’s magic lessening as he approached me. His body folded into a crouch in front of me. He had obviously been sleeping. His short hair was tousled, his chest bare. Ilyan’s eyes were soft, wide, and shining. My heart rate settled somewhat at his gaze. It hadn’t felt this normal in months, the pain from the incessant thudding lessened.

I stared into those eyes, relishing the steady beat, the calmness that he was bringing me. I hadn’t even noticed his hand was moving until it came to rest against my cheek. I jumped at the unexpected contact before settling back, my shaky hands moving to cover his.

My hands clung to Ilyan. I held his magic deep within me as he healed me, comforted me. I refused to look away from him. Part of me was still scared he would disappear, that this was all a trick, that he would hurt me too.

I leaned my head against the base of the sink my hair falling over my face as I moved. Ilyan gently moved it away, his finger touching my mark as he placed the strands behind my ear. I jerked at the jolt that moved down my spine from Ilyan’s touch, the single jerk morphing into a million twitches.

“Shhhh, mi lasko, shhhh.” Ilyan attempted to move closer to me in an effort to comfort me but in the end gave up and magically slowed my heart rate instead.

“Is-is Dr…Dramin… d-d-dead?” I tried so hard to keep the stutter out of my voice, but it didn’t work. It seemed to have followed me. Ilyan’s eyes widened at my voice, and I realized I hadn’t spoken more than his name since my return to this world.

“No, he had a shield around him, but your strength was still too much for him. He is alive, but we do not know for how much longer.” He wrapped his hand around mine, his eyes refusing to leave mine in fear of my reaction.

My eyes widened at his words, my neck muscles twitching. I had seen Dramin’s death in my sight, the unknown magic flying toward him. So to have seen it replayed in life, with my magic as the death blow, I knew what that meant – Dramin would not recover. I cringed, pushing my terror away as I clung to the cool porcelain.

“It’s not your fault, Joclyn.” I turned toward him, my eyes wide. I couldn’t tell him how wrong he was. I may not have been in my right mind, but it would never be anything other than my fault.

“Ryland had a shield around him…” Ilyan’s sentence was drowned out by my screams.

Just hearing his name brought every single memory that I had been trying to restrain to the surface. They cut through me like a blunted knife. I cringed and howled, my eyes darting around for him, expecting Pain to come through the door at any minute.

“N-nno!” I howled. Ilyan’s eyes widened as he tried to figure out what was going on, why I was reacting this way.

“H-he ca…can’t f-find m...me.” I clawed at the toilet in an attempt to push myself further back against the wall. My hands moved to claw at the warmth that was moving through me. I knew it was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help it. The action had become learned, almost comforting.

“Jos... love… calm down…” Ilyan’s hands fluttered around me, the panic on his face growing.

“H-he wi…will hurt-t me.” I grabbed his arms, desperate to make him understand the danger I was in. My twitches flowed freely even as I tried to control them.

My body was waging a battle with itself. One side desperately wanted to run, to hide. The other pleaded with me that I was safe, that Ilyan was here and the nightmares were gone.

“No, love, no,” I focused on Ilyan’s words as his magic flared, my heart rate slowing at his command. “He will never hurt you again. I will keep you safe.”

He looked deeply into me, my insides continuing to unwind.

Safe. Ilyan would keep me safe. I knew it was true. I knew it, deep within me. I focused on him as I willed the calm to overtake me, as I willed my brain to believe his words.