Exodus (The Ravenhood #2)(37)
That aside, I want more for myself than inherited wealth. Every day I feel a little bit stronger, like I could turn this around and try to cover the surface of the scars I’ve collected, no matter how deep they still run.
I’ve been diligent in serving out the rest of my time here without incident, passing on beers after work and gatherings at Melinda’s while researching majors as summer passes me by. It’s a night and day difference from my last summer, but I refuse to dwell on it. Daily, I push away the thoughts of the men who ruled me for endless days and months, and the latest addition to the mix is becoming the most challenging to ignore. It’s during the night when my subconscious takes over and I dream vividly, and the morning after, where I’m forced to relive each painful moment, cursed with the gift of dream recall.
The hangover from them can take hours and sometimes a full day to get through. I allow the burn because it’s my hope it’s a part of healing—that they’ll strengthen me.
Your heart has no place here.
Where I thought I’d been growing wings last year, they’ve all but disappeared at this point. My consolation is that I’m more focused than ever on what happens when Roman’s control clock ticks out.
I consider applying for college far away on the other side of the country, or maybe in a different one altogether. With an abundant bank account and a decent GPA, there are no limits to what I can do. I can start all over, gain my full education at a more reputable school. I’ve only been a student a few months, and though I like school, my education in Triple Falls has been a collection of very hard lessons.
However, my fire has returned front and center, and I won’t stop this flicker of hope, not for anything, it’s my driving force. My only regret is that I continue to lie while FaceTiming Christy and make up excuses to keep her at bay, to keep her safe from my situation. I purposefully deceive her with each conversation, only allowing her to know a percentage of the life I now live. Her new and distracting boyfriend, Josh, is my saving grace. If it weren’t for him, I’d be in much hotter water.
But I don’t want Tobias anywhere near her, and I refuse to speak of him. He’s business for me now, and I’m handling him. He doesn’t deserve the acknowledgment as a presence in my life.
I’ll live with and deal with my business decision, alone.
But it might be best to stick to our core plan having already applied to UG. Maybe being back with Christy will help mend our broken connection. Going back to her may remind me more of the woman I was before I had too many secrets to keep.
And I keep them. No one will benefit from me breaking my silence, and more than that, many will suffer.
Perched on my bed, I begin to fill out one last-minute application, just in case, when I feel him darken my doorway. With Tobias, I’ve come to realize I have a twisted sixth sense.
He lingers at the threshold as a hint of his earthy scent fills my nose. And I despise my body’s initial response. My fingers are still flying over the keyboard when I finally acknowledge him.
“I’m on my period,” I announce dryly, not bothering to look his way. “And I don’t want to see you.”
He remains where he stands, his suited silhouette in my periphery.
“I said—”
“I heard what you said,” he snaps, “and you don’t get to decide when you see me.” He stalks toward my bed and jerks my laptop from me, collecting my phone from my nightstand and stacking it on top of my computer before striding out of the room. The slam of a door in one of the guest bedrooms lets me know where I can find it once he leaves. He, like Sean and Dominic, refuses to let me have anything electronic near us while he’s here. More than once, I’ve realized my things are missing once he’s left the house and have to thoroughly search to find them—the bastard. He has absolutely no regard for my privacy down to what birth control I use. This devil is swimming in my details.
“I was working on that! It’s important!”
His deep voice echoes from down the hall. “I’m not going to fight electronics for your attention.”
“Sounds familiar,” I drawl dryly. “And no one asked you to come here!”
I lift my eyes when he comes back into view, despising the surge in my veins when they connect. “I think you’ve made your point. How long do you think I’ll let this go on?”
“What makes you think you can stop it?” He strides back into the room, tossing a box on my bed, and I blink at it.
“Whatever it is, you can take it back.”
“Just fucking open it.”
“I’m not your whore, don’t bring me gifts.”
He jerks the bow on the box, speaking through gritted teeth. “Open it.”
I unfasten the ribbon and open it to see it’s a new negligee and matching silk robe. Expensive. I toss it at his chest, and it lands at his shoes.
“For someone who was so intent not to be labeled Daddy’s princess, you sure are acting like the bitchiest noble of them all.”
“You want me to be grateful to you?” I shake my head. “Your arrogance is truly astounding.” I dart my eyes to his offering. “Take that with you when you go.”
In the next second, my hair is fisted around his thick fingers as he pins me, his eyes firing bright with annoyance. I turn away from him, the burn in my scalp strengthening as he rights me where he wants me. I sigh, giving in, my body coming alive with him so close. “Just leave. I’ve got nothing to offer you.”