Exodus (The Ravenhood #2)(19)

It’s not intimidation or the power he holds. It’s the intimacy I felt in that kiss and the fact that his words and actions contradict it in every way.

Twice I’ve caught him looking at me with the same curiosity, and twice he’s kept me hostage with his amber gaze. But neither of us has said a word about it.

What’s there to say?

Neither of us wants to want the other. Neither of us wants to feel more than hate and contempt, and yet the draw is so strong, so blatantly obvious, it’s unnerving.

I’m all too happy to deny it until the bitter end of our arrangement. But the fact that he exists at all is still a revelation in and of itself. He’s the essence of an enigma. If he hadn’t of come to me that day at the pool, I would have remained in the dark about him. The fact that Dominic and Sean hid him so effortlessly is alarming.

Well played, boys, well played.

These men are skilled in deception and disguise it as trust. But it’s the bigger picture I see now when I think back to the beginning. And the fact that I’m not sure just how big it is.

“It’s still unbelievable, you know,” I say, moving a pawn only to have it swept away. He’s been anticipating my moves, just as he has every other I’ve made since he came into my life nearly a year ago.

“How so?” He knows exactly what I’m referring to, and it unsettles me even more. Anticipating another’s thoughts is a sign of shared intimacy.

I exhale a breath of frustration. I have to choose my words wisely. Instead, I opt for silence. These head games are grueling.

“In theory,” he says, knowing I’m unwilling to mull over my word choice, “when you take what thieves steal, they can’t exactly file a police report.”

“I know that part, but do they ever retaliate?”

“Stupidly, yes, and often.” He takes my knight. “And why is it so unbelievable? Haven’t you seen enough?”

“In a way, yes, but…”

“But what? Too close for comfort? That’s the beauty of it. You can’t for a second believe what’s going on in your own back yard, and that’s the hardest realization to come to terms with.”

“That’s true.”

His amber eyes flicker as he scans my face. “You know gangs exist, right? But you’ve never been in that environment. You’ve never witnessed a drive-by or seen an initiation, have you?”

“Also true.”

He leans back and crosses his arms, pausing our game.

“Do you believe the Cartel exists?”

“Yes.”

“The Mob?”

“Of course.”

“Why, because you saw GoodFellas?” He shakes his head, a faint smile on his lips. “So why is it so hard for you to believe a group of people banded together for a reason they felt was justifiable enough to warrant extremes to try and evoke change?”

“It’s just so…”

“When you were coerced in, you were just as ignorant until you saw for yourself.”

“Yes.”

“And you just admitted it’s still unbelievable after the fact. So, would it be safe to agree your ignorance is shared with a large majority?”

I nod, mulling over what he’s saying. “I believe so, yes.”

“Seeing is believing for so many that it’s fucking pathetic.”

“So I’ve been told a hundred times.”

He smiles but it’s pride I see shining in his eyes. The pride of a teacher. “Sean.”

You.

“Cartels are corrupt,” I say, making my move, “and so is the Mob.”

I lift my eyes to his. “And so…” are you. And they do it all—everything from blackmail and extortion, down to petty theft. The Ravenhood is just as corrupt, as lawless as any other extreme organization. “So, this is evil versus a lesser evil?”

He nods toward me to make my move. As soon as I do, his countermove earns him a greater advantage on the board. “How do you justify it? What sets you apart? The fact that you don’t hurt innocent people?”

“If you don’t think you’re in danger, you’re a lot less intelligent than I gave you credit for. The second we focus on taking someone down, we, in turn, gain bullseyes on our backs—all of our backs, no exclusions. There are no rules for innocents in wars like these. The casualties due to our declared wars all boil down to human decency. Whether or not our opponent has humanity enough to leave the innocents out of it.”

He drives the point home by knocking my pawn off the board.

“Can we be done with this game?”

“No,” he answers quickly, “I’m three moves away from winning.”

I make my move, and he’s already lifted his knight.

“The tattoos are pretty stupid, don’t you think? Incriminating. How do you expect to keep this contained?”

“There will always be the burden of evidence for anyone to incriminate.”

“Isn’t that a bit arrogant?”

“No, it’s not arrogant. There will always be the burden of evidence, just like there will always be an exception to every rule. I’m expecting it. I expect opposition. I expect retaliation. I expect to be surprised because of human nature—case in point, the interruption that is you. But make no mistake, America is a corporation, a business, Cecelia. Your father knows that, everyone in a position of power fighting behind the flag knows that. Roman isn’t stupid. He’s well-aware he has enemies, whether he can identify them or not. He’s also aware that one wrong move could cost him everything, as all players are. And for every man positioned in a place of power or importance, there will always be someone waiting in the wings to seek weakness out, anticipate your next move, and attempt to take what doesn’t belong to them.”