Existence(62)

I needed to cut all the strings that tore at my already damaged soul.

By the time I checked in to school I’d missed English Literature. The halls were filling up with students. I held my books close to my chest and clenched the pink late slip in my hand. I could do this. I chanted the reminder over and over in my head. Miranda came out of the crowd of people, beaming when she saw me.

“PAGAN! Hurray, you came! I’ve missed you like crazy bad. Now lunch won’t be so boring and, Oh my G! Guess what?” I struggled to keep up with her rush of words so it took me a moment to realize she wanted me to react to her

“guess what.”

“Oh, um, what?” I couldn’t even force a smile.

She beamed at me and glanced around to see if anyone was listening to her before looking back at me. “Dank Walker is here. Like, at our school. Like, as in, enrolled at our school.

Can you believe it? I mean, I know he went to a high school in Mobile, Alabama up until last year when his band landed a hit song and started playing all over the United States instead of just the Southeast. GAH! Can you believe he is here! At our school? I guess if he had to go back to high school our little quaint coastal town is preferable to somewhere in Alabama. But still, I can’t believe this.” I stood frozen as her words registered in my brain. Dank was here? How? The rocker she spoke of no longer existed.



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Panic laced with disbelief tightened my chest and I had to take a deep breath.

“Where?” I managed to ask, knowing I couldn’t mask the desperate expression on my face. Miranda grinned and nodded toward Leif.

“Better get that star struck look off your face. Here comes your man.”

I barely glanced at him and reached for her hand. “Tell me where he is. Please, now.” Her eyes grew wide at my sudden breathless demand. She was going to think I was flipping my lid again.

“Uh, um, well around here somewhere,” she said in a concerned tone and glanced over at Leif, forcing a smile that didn’t meet her worried eyes.

“Did you know Pagan was a big Cold Soul fan?” Leif glanced at me but I didn’t have time to deal with him at the moment. I needed to find Dank.

“I have to go. I’ll see you later,” I said by way of explanation as I headed through the crowd at a run. I fought the urge to call his name aloud.

“You’re going to get put back in that mental place if you don’t calm down.” Dank’s smooth voice spoke teasingly in my ear and I spun around. He was, of course, not whispering in my ear or anywhere near me.

“Where are you?” I hissed quietly. I heard a chuckle and I jerked to look behind me to see a freshman couple kissing.

“The picnic table,” he said simply. I turned back around and headed for the front doors of the school. He was waiting for me at the place I had spotted him for the very first time. I pushed open the door with both hands and took off running.

He was lounging there just as he had been the first day I’d seen him, smiling at me as I came around the corner. I dropped my books and hurled myself into his open arms. A sob wracked my body. He was here! He was here. I couldn’t speak so I kept my face buried in his chest, sobbing uncontrollably. I wanted to gaze up at him and kiss him and 189



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ask him how, but I couldn’t seem to control the well of emotion overwhelming me. He pulled me onto his lap and sat back down on top of the table.

“Glad to see me?” he asked in my ear. His warm breath tickled my ear. I laughed into his chest and nodded, still not sure I could speak. “I would have come sooner but I wasn’t sure. I had to wait until…” he trailed off and I pulled back to look up at his face.

“Wait for what?” I asked, needing reassurance that he wasn’t leaving. Dank wiped the tears from my wet face with his finger and tilted my chin up so I could gaze directly into his jewel-like eyes.

“I couldn’t return until you chose. Apparently, if you made the ultimate sacrifice then my broken rule would be amended.” I shook my head, not understanding what sacrifice he was talking about.

“You mean my dying? I did that willingly last night. What took you so long? Gee came to my room and she was as confused as I was.”

He smiled at me. “No, not dying, although that sacrifice wasn’t taken lightly. However, it could have been interpreted as selfish nature by the Deity. You see, humans give up life when they can’t deal with the pain. It’s an easy escape for them. The sacrifice I’m speaking of isn’t one of dying but of living.”

He touched his forehead to mine. “You see, Gee was playing her part. She knew exactly what was happening. She isn’t a Deity, but she is an immortal and has been around since the beginning of time. She knew it all revolves around self-sacrifice. A completely selfless act.” I shook my head, frowning. “What do you mean?” He chuckled and I realized it was the most beautiful sound in the world.

“You chose to live a life you no longer wanted just to ease my pain. You didn’t want to live without me, yet when you knew it would have made my extinction pointless you 190



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couldn’t stand the thought. You chose to live for me.” I nodded agreeing with him but not sure how this had anything to do with how he was here in front of me.