Exes and O's (The Influencer, #2)(10)
“Um, yeah. I’ve used it,” I lie, dodging eye contact entirely.
Ignoring me, she begins to indulge Trevor with some tales of my personal failings in the kitchen, including the time I microwaved tinfoil. Trevor finds this all too amusing.
“Dear, did you find a dress for your big Valentine’s Day gala yet?” Grandma asks me eagerly.
My stomach fills with dread at the mere mention of the gala, despite the fact that Valentine’s Day is my favorite holiday. The gala is an annual Boston Children’s Hospital fundraiser for medical research. This year, it happens to fall on Valentine’s Day. In keeping with the theme, the money will go toward the Children’s Heart Center.
The hospital staff treat this event like it’s senior prom. I’m talking formal wear, makeup, updos, and limo rentals. Last year was the first time I elected to work instead (due to life implosion). And while I toyed with the idea of skipping it again this year in favor of self-loathing on the couch in a haze of Cheeto dust, spending Valentine’s Day alone feels a little too depressing.
I give her a wary look. “How did you even know about it?”
“I saw you clicked Attending on the Facebook,” she says flippantly. “I could crochet you a dress if you’d like.”
I pretend not to be horrified at the prospect of a hand-knit evening gown. “I was thinking of buying something, Grandma. But thank you.”
Luckily, she doesn’t appear too put out by my decline of her crochet services. She quickly gets sidetracked with a story about how she once crocheted an outfit for my mom and how Mom didn’t appreciate the craftsmanship because she isn’t a “domestic goddess,” either. At some point during the rant, Trevor manages to make his quiet escape.
Once he’s gone, Grandma Flo tells me about her new Instagram account, LoopsWithFlo. It seems Crystal and I are no longer the only social media influencers in the family.
“I already have fifty friends,” she gloats, shoving her iPad an inch from my face to prove it.
I pace the living room, scrolling through her feed. She’s documented all her latest creations: hats, blankets, scarves, mittens. She’s even gotten the hang of filters and hashtags (#knittersofinstagram, #wool, #makersgonnamake). “They’re called followers on Instagram, Grandma.”
She takes a tiny bird bite of her digestive biscuit. “I want to learn how to get more friends.”
“Crystal would know more than me, but it looks like you’re only posting once every few days,” I say, passing the iPad back to her. “You have to post consistently, daily even, to get maximum exposure.”
She one-finger types ask crystal about friends in her Notes app while I set up my tripod and phone in front of the couch. Once Grandma Flo is satisfied the angle doesn’t accentuate her neck wrinkles, it’s showtime.
LIVE WITH TARAROMANCEQUEEN—SECOND-CHANCE ROMANCE
EXCERPT FROM TRANSCRIPT
[Tara and Grandma Flo sit side by side on a leather couch, knit afghan draped over their laps. Flo sips tea and scrutinizes her own image. Tara smiles happily into the camera.]
TARA: Hello, romance book lovers, welcome back to my channel. I am stoked about today’s episode for two reasons. First, you all know I’m trash for a second-chance reunion trope. Second, my lovely Grandma Flo is here as a special guest to share her story of a real-life second-chance romance with her childhood sweetheart.
Before I get too carried away with Flo’s story, let me explain the ins and outs of a second-chance romance for those newbie romance readers out there. Usually, second chances go a little something like this: Person A and Person B are destined soul mates, but something goes horribly wrong and they’re separated.
FLO: Sometimes for many years. Decades, even.
TARA: Yup. Fast-forward. The heroine is living a fabulous life in the city, probably New York, and must return to her backwoods small town to take care of unfinished business. She’s usually engaged to a fancy architect who has zero time for her, leaving her vulnerable to the ruggedly sexy ex-boyfriend who’s never left town and still pines for her.
[Tara flaps her hands excitedly and turns to Flo.]
Tara: Tell us a little bit about your and Martin’s story.
FLO: Marty and I met in kindergarten. He was taken with me immediately, of course. I was quite the cutie-pie back then. His way of showing his affection was to torment me. Chased me around with bugs and frogs he caught in the creek. In the third grade, he jumped from the roof of a schoolyard shed just to impress me. Poor dear broke his arm. I signed his cast with a little heart, and the rest is history.
TARA: To clarify, you fell in love as kids?
FLO: Things ended when I caught him smooching another girl in the schoolyard. After high school, we both married other people. Lived right down the street from each other for most of our adult lives.
TARA: Did you always know you and Marty were meant to be?
FLO: Heavens no. You know, Marty wasn’t the first man I dated after your grandfather died.
TARA: You dated other men before Marty?
FLO: Of course I did. A lady has to keep her options open. You can’t just run into the arms of the first man who gives you a second look. That would be desperate.
* * *
? ? ?
GRANDMA FLO GIVES me a knowing, wise-owl look. Did my own grandmother just insinuate that I’m desperate on Live video, in front of my thousands of followers?