Everything and the Moon (The Lyndon Sisters #1)(37)

“stop thanking me!” he exploded.

She blinked, confused.

“What happened last night was as much my fault as anyone else's,” he said bitterly.

“No!” she cried out. “No, don't say that. You saved me.”

Part of Robert wanted nothing more than to let her go on thinking him a hero. She had always made him feel big and strong and noble, and he had missed that after their separation. But his conscience wouldn't allow him to accept gratitude where none was due.

He let out a shaky breath. “We will discuss that later. Right now there are more pressing matters.”

She nodded and let him lead her away from the house. She looked up with questioning eyes when she realized they were heading for the hedgerow maze.

“We'll need privacy,” he explained.

She allowed herself a small smile, the first she'd felt all day. “Just so long as I know the way out.”

He chuckled and wended his way through the maze until they reached a stone bench. “Two lefts, a right, and two more lefts,” he whispered.

She smiled again as she smoothed her skirts down and sat. “It is engraved on my brain.”

Robert sat beside her, his expression suddenly growing a touch hesitant. “Victoria— Torie.”

Victoria's heart fluttered at the way he switched to the use of her nickname.

Robert's face moved expressively, as if he was seeking out the best words. Finally he said, “You cannot stay here.”

She blinked. “But I thought you said that Eversleigh has left for London.”

“He has. But that doesn't matter.”

“It matters a great deal to me,” she said.

“Torie, I can't leave you here.”

“What are you saying?”

He raked a hand through his hair. “I cannot leave knowing that you are unprotected. What happened last night could easily happen again.”

Victoria looked at him steadily. “Robert, last night was not the first time I have been subjected to unwanted attentions from a gentleman.”

His entire body tensed. “Was that supposed to set my mind at ease?”

“I have never before been attacked with such force,” she continued. “I am merely trying to say that I have become quite adept at fending off advances.”

He gripped her shoulders. “If I hadn't intervened last night, he would have raped you. Possibly even killed you.”

She shuddered and looked away. “I can't imagine that anything like…like…that will ever come to pass again. And I can protect myself against the odd pinch and lewd word.”

“That is unacceptable!” he exploded. “How can you let yourself be demeaned that way?”

“No one can demean me but myself,” she said in a very low voice. “Don't forget that.”

He let his hands drop away from her shoulders and stood. “I know that, Torie. But you shouldn't have to remain in this intolerable situation.”

“Oh, really?” She let out a hollow laugh. “And how am I supposed to extricate myself from this situation, as you so delicately put it? I have to eat, my lord.”

“Torie, don't be sarcastic.”

“I'm not being sarcastic! I have never been more thoroughly serious in my life. If I do not work as a governess, I will starve. I don't have any other choice.”

“Yes, you do,” he whispered urgently, dropping to his knees before her. “You can come with me.”

She stared at him in shock. “With you?”

He nodded. “To London. We can leave today.”

Victoria swallowed nervously, trying to suppress the urge to throw herself into his arms. Something burst to life within her, and she suddenly remembered exactly how she'd felt so many years ago when he had first said he wanted to marry her. But heartbreak had made her wary, and she measured her words carefully before asking, “What exactly are you proposing, my lord?”

“I'll buy you a house. And hire a staff.”

Victoria felt every last hope for the future drain away. Robert wasn't proposing marriage. And he never would. Not if he made her his mistress first. Men didn't marry their mistresses.

“You'll never want for anything,” he added.

Except love, Victoria thought miserably. And respectability. “What would I have to do in return?” she asked, not because she had any intention of accepting his insulting offer. She just wanted to hear him say it.

But he looked dumbfounded, startled that she'd voiced the question. “You…Ah…”

“What, Robert?” she asked sharply.

“I just want to be with you,” he said, clasping her hands. His eyes slid away from hers, as if he realized just how lame his words were.

“But you won't marry me,” she said, her voice dull. How silly of her to have thought, even for a moment, that they could be happy again.

He stood. “Surely you didn't think…”

“Obviously not. How could I possibly think that you, the Earl of Macclesfield, would deign to marry a vicar's daughter?” Her voice grew shrill. “Goodness, I've probably been plotting to fleece you out of your fortune for seven years.”

Robert winced at her unexpected attack. Her words poked at something unpleasant in his heart—something that felt a bit like guilt. The image of Victoria as a greedy adventuress had never rung completely true, but what else was there for him to think? He'd seen her himself, lying in bed, sleeping soundly on the night they were supposed to elope. He felt the protective armor around his heart lock back into place and said, “Sarcasm doesn't become you, Victoria.”