Every Last Secret(65)

I shoved at his chest. “She tried to have Matt killed. You realize that, don’t you? And she poisoned me at their house. I could have died. Did you know what a lunatic she was?”

He sank into the window seat and cupped his head. “I didn’t know anything, Cat. I was being selfish, and insecure, and stupid.”

“And risking us in the process,” I said quietly. I hesitated. “Tell me you used protection.”

He didn’t answer, and his silence confirmed what I already knew. He had been bare inside her. What if she was pregnant with his child? Had he thought of me once during the act?

I thought of the way he’d walked back in the door after work each day and kissed me on the lips, as if everything were normal. “Do you love her?” This question was softer, and it was the one I was most terrified to voice.

“No.” He stood up and moved toward me, his face breaking. “I don’t . . . I don’t even know what the hell I’m doing—was doing—with her.” He grabbed my wrist, and I stepped back.

“I can’t—” I inhaled sharply. “I can’t do any better than us, William. We’re happy. We’ve been strong. If you can’t be faithful to me now, what will happen in our hard times?” I felt the tears in the moment before they came and rushed to finish before I broke into sobs. “You were my everything.”

“Cat,” he said softly, his voice breaking in a way I’d never heard from him. Not when his father had died, not once in our fourteen years together. “Cat, please. This was a stupid thing.” He gripped my arms, pulling me against him, my struggles failing as he forced me to look into his face. “I need you to forgive me. I can’t live without you. Please.” It was a gruff, fierce plea, his voice shaking with the intensity of it. He dropped to his knees, clawing me closer. “Please don’t leave me.” It was as much an order as a beg.

I didn’t move. I didn’t respond. I watched him, and when he looked up at me, I studied the depths of his eyes, the love and heartbreak in them.

Of course I wouldn’t leave him. That was why, after all, I had done all this.





CHAPTER 45

NEENA

“What’s in the safe?” The detective was flanked by three uniforms, all of them staring at me, suspicion heavy in their eyes. I glanced back at the doorway. Matt was already gone, and I wanted to scream at him to come back. He couldn’t leave me with these cops, not after opening Pandora’s box and shoving me into its teeth.

“Neena?” Detective Cullen stepped forward, her gap tooth peeking through her chapped lips. I studied her greasy hair, pulled into a tight ponytail, and stayed silent. “What’s in the safe?”

I shouldn’t have put it in the safe to begin with. Though the alternative, the cavity hidden in the floor, had proved just as insecure. I eased toward the door that Matt had escaped through and was blocked by a fat officer in a uniform a size too small.

“The safe’s in the closet.” Another male officer spoke up from behind me. “It’s locked.”

“You can give us the combination, Neena, or we can drill out the lock.” Detective Cullen shrugged. “It makes no difference to us.”

“Or we can just call your husband,” the fat one suggested. “He sounded like he’d be willing to give it to us.”

I glanced at the detective. “Does your warrant cover the safe?”

“Your husband just gave us permission to search it. We don’t need a warrant.”

I clenched my hands into fists. “I’m not giving you the combination. I don’t remember it. Call Matt if you want to. He’s not going to know it, either.” And he wouldn’t remember the complicated six-digit combination, but he’d probably remember where we stored it—the Post-it stuck in the top drawer of our bathroom vanity.

“We will,” Detective Cullen promised, glancing at one of the other officers. “Go get Matt Ryder’s cell phone number and text it to me.” She pointed at me. “And you, Dr. Ryder—you just stay right there.”

Five minutes later, after a quick call to my treacherous husband, getting his verbal authority to open the safe and oh-so-helpful guidance to the yellow sticky note that held the combination, the chambers of the large safe clicked into place, and the heavy iron door was wrenched open. Detective Cullen flipped her Maglite on and shone the beam into the velvet-lined depths.

I think she said something, but I wasn’t sure. At that moment, I swayed, my knees buckling as black spots dotted across my vision, and I fainted.



“I got to tell you, I’ve been in this business a long time and have only had two suspects faint on me.” Detective Cullen knelt in front of our coffee table. She wiped a pale napkin across her mouth as she took a bite from the breakfast sandwich clutched in her nail-bitten claws. I blinked slowly, focusing on the sandwich and wondering if it had come from William’s chef. Had Detective Cullen seen William? What had she told him? Did she tell him what was in the safe? I glanced down at my hands, surprised to see that they were free, no handcuffs in sight.

“I think she’s okay.” Detective Cullen waved at someone, and I followed her motion, surprised to see a paramedic crouched beside my recliner. How had I gotten downstairs? This was Matt’s chair, not mine. I sat upright, and the man hurried to assist.