Ever After (East Raven Academy Book 1)(44)

“Oh. Wow,” I say. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s why I don’t like Estaine. I know it’s not really his fault my sister is dead, but I kind of feel like she would still be here if it wasn’t for him,” he says, then looks at me for the first time since telling me his story. “Please, Phoenix, stay away from him. You deserve better.”

I don’t make any promises. I just let his words sink in. I know better than to tell him that I will stay away from Brooks.

The relationship that Brooks had with River... it sucks. I get that. But that doesn’t mean that if I decided to have a relationship with him, it would be the same as it was for them. Maybe they were both bad for each other.

“I had an older sister. I don’t remember her, but she died when I was six months old,” I tell him. “She was four at the time. That’s why my parents got divorced. Their marriage couldn’t survive after she died.”

“My parents’ marriage isn’t so great right now, either,” Estaine says. “It was, before...”

“I was young when they got divorced, but it worked out good for me. I’ve got Charlie now, and I can’t imagine life without him. And my stepmom is pregnant, so I’m going to have a little brother or sister, soon,” I say. “They should’ve fought for each other, though. I think they still love each other, in their own way.”

“You said your parents met at Berkeley, right?”

I nod. “Love at first sight, according to my dad.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” he asks.

“No. I don’t think so. I mean, maybe strong attraction,” I answer. “But, I think love grows over time. Like, say a couple might be in love after a few weeks or months of dating, but that love doesn’t compare to what they feel for each other five years down the road. Things happen that bring them closer and make them fight for each other. That’s what strengthens it. Like, maybe if my parents had been married ten years instead of five, maybe their marriage could’ve survived the death of my sister. But I’ll never know.”

He stays quiet beside me.

“What about you?” I ask. “Do you believe in love at first sight?”

“I didn’t, but I think maybe I do now,” he answers.

I wonder what he means by he thinks he does now, but I don’t ask. I figure if he wanted to tell me, he would.

“Is... are you... is Brooks your boyfriend?” Estaine asks.

“No,” I answer.

“Good,” he says. “Brooks likes to move really fast, and I just don’t want you to rush into a relationship with him.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about that with him,” I say.

And he is wrong.

Brooks doesn’t go fast.

At least, he said he’s not going fast with me. Maybe he did learn something from his relationship with River.

“So... Teagan says you don’t date girls at school,” I say, hoping that I’m not being too personal. “Besides some girl, freshman year. But I was wondering why you don’t date. All the girls here like you. And not to sound creepy or anything, but you’re kind of hot.”

He smiles. “Hot?”

I nod, my face growing warm.

“I just saw the way River was with Brooks. And then Emma and Bryce,” he says. “I guess I didn’t want to deal with the drama of a high school romance. None of the girls have been worth it.”

“Oh,” I say, hating how much his comment stings.

Brooks.

I like Brooks.

Dang Teagan getting in my head.

“That doesn’t mean I wouldn’t date a girl if I liked her enough,” he says.

“And make all the other girls in school jealous?” I ask.

Me, included.

Because I have to admit to myself, I would be a tiny bit jealous if he did date somebody else.

“Would you be jealous?” he asks.

Can he read my mind?

Seriously, that was freaky.

Knowing that he can tell when I lie, I nod my head. “Yeah.”

I don’t want to add more lies onto my already guilty conscience, anyway. I need one person in my life I can be completely honest with, and Estaine is the one I choose to be honest with.

“Does Brooks know about... everything?” he asks.

I shake my head. “I can’t tell him. I mean, I don’t want to. You’re the only person I’ve told.”

He smiles, and I wonder what he’s thinking.

“Where do you think Teagan and Jason are?” I ask, looking behind us. I don’t see them anywhere in the clearing.

“Probably making out somewhere,” he answers.

“Probably,” I agree, and then blurt out, “I’ve never kissed a guy before.”

“Really?” he asks, looking shocked. “I find that really hard to believe.”

“It’s true,” I say.

“The guys at your old school were complete morons,” Estaine says.

Brooks said something really similar.

“All the guys here watch you,” he says. “I’m surprised that you haven’t been asked out by half the male students, yet.”

“Teagan says that everybody thinks we’re dating,” I blurt out, before I have time to even think about it.