Erasing Faith(25)

“Two,” she whispered.

“Three.” I squeezed her hand tighter as we moved in unison. Almost there, now.

“Four,” she said in pinched voice, taking the final step. Waists pressed against the stone railing, we stood shoulder-to-shoulder and stared out at the river. I saw the whites of her eyes flash when her gaze dropped straight down over the edge. Shaking visibly, she crushed her lids closed, took a deep breath in through her nose, and released it with a whoosh of air that made her entire body sway like a reed in the wind.

“Five,” she breathed, opening her eyes to stare into mine.

I stilled for a beat, watching to see if the panic would return. Waiting for her to freak out or run from the railing, toward the relative safety of the wall.

She didn’t.

Instead, she did something so surprising, it nearly knocked me on my ass. She unlaced her fingers from mine, stepped forward into my space, and wrapped her arms around me in an embrace that had me clenching my jaw and curling my fists in an attempt to maintain even the pretense of control.

And there on a bridge in the middle of the Danube, with a beautiful girl pressed tight against me, I felt my mask slip. For just a moment, I let Wesley Adams fall away and Weston Abbott took his place. His thoughts filled my mind, swirling in a chaotic tangle, and for once I didn’t push them out.

This girl.

She kills me.

Every look, every laugh, every smile.

She slays me. Breaks me.

Undoes me. Creates me.

She sets everything in my hollow, heartless world on fire.

And I let her.

Because I love to feel the flames lick my skin.

The chaos she incites, ignites…

It’s the realest thing I’ve ever felt.

My hesitant arms lifted of their own volition to return her embrace, wrapping around her frame in a light grip that wasn’t quite a hug. I was out of practice at this. Undoubtedly, I was f*cking it up.

She didn’t seem to notice, though. She just hugged me tighter.

Minutes ticked by as we stood there, interlocked in an embrace I felt down to my tar-black soul. Her forehead tucked against my shoulder, her fingertips dug into the thin cotton of my t-shirt like she couldn’t bring herself to let go.

The sun set, and the moon drifted up to take its place.

The stars appeared one by one, sprinkling the sky with light.

The summer breeze lost its warmth, and a chill blew off the water.

And still, we stood. Frozen. Entwined like one figure, one soul, for so long the lines between where I ended and she began became blurred. There was nothing left to say — I had no pretty words for her. I didn’t even have more ugly ones. So I let my arms speak for me.

I tightened my grip and returned her embrace, holding her until thoughts of who I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to be doing here disappeared entirely. Until I was just a nameless man on a bridge with a brave girl in his arms. Until it was just us.

Wes and Faith.

Faith and Wes.

We were doomed from the start. A lost cause. A losing battle.

And yet, in that narrow instant, I didn’t give a single f*ck.





Chapter Thirteen: FAITH


UP TO FATE



“You sneaky little bitch!”

“Hello to you too, Margot,” I muttered, dumping my wallet on the countertop and making my way over to the couch where she was sprawled out beneath a fuzzy red blanket reading Tina Fey’s new autobiography. Birdy’s All You Never Say was humming quietly from the kitchen speakers. There was a large mug of tea sitting in front of my roommate — I snatched it off the table and took a swig without waiting for permission.

“Hey!” she protested. “Make your own!”

I smiled as I settled in next to her and set down the cup. “Relax, I only wanted a sip.”

“First, you ditch speed-dating to run off with a scrumptious mystery man I’ve never heard a you utter a friggen word about, and then you steal my oolong,” Margot grumbled. “You have some serious explaining to do, woman.”

“Can it wait till tomorrow?” I cast bleary eyes at the clock above the stove. “It’s past midnight and I’m beat.”

“Ask me how much I care.”

Uh oh. Margot was using her this-means-business voice. I sighed and snuggled deeper into the couch cushions, tugging a corner of her red throw over my lap. My roommate glared at me — blanket thievery was clearly even more unwelcome than tea snatching.

“How was the rest of speed-dating?” I asked, hoping to delay the inevitable for a while longer.

It was Margot’s turn to sigh. “Miserable.”

“Why?”

She grimaced. “Let’s just say, none of them were boyfriend material.”

I tried desperately to hold in my laughter. “Didn’t you meet Earl?”

Margot threw a pillow at my face when a flurry of giggles escaped my lips. I only laughed harder as I dodged the soft missile, holding up my hands in surrender.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” I managed to gasp out between laughs. “Seriously, there were some good looking guys there. I’m sure some of them were into you.”

Margot shook her head. “All of the hot ones were either only interested in sex, or totally uninterested in me.”

“I’m sorry, Margot. It’s their loss, not yours.”