Epic Sins (Epic Fail #1)(68)
“Okay. Take your time,” I say and rush up the stairs as soon as I hear the car pull away. Sam slept in today, and I plan to wake her up the best way that I know how.
I open the door to my room and am surprised to see Sam pacing, holding a pad and pencil. She’s in her panties and tank top and looks so f*cking hot. She’s startled when I burst in and close the door behind me.
“Hey,” I say and wrap my arms around her, burying my face in her neck. She smells like vanilla and sex. Two of my favorite smells.
She’s tense in my arms, and I back away a little. “What’s wrong?” I ask.
“I’m making a list for you to refer to when I’m gone, and I feel like I’m missing too many things.”
My heart sinks when I realize she’s really going to leave.
“Let’s not worry about the list right now,” I say and plant tiny kisses all around her lips.
She smiles and drops the pencil and pad onto the dresser. She throws herself into my arms, and we repeat last night’s performance several times.
“GARRETT?” SAM ASKS AS I NUZZLE into her breasts.
“Hmm?” I respond sleepily.
“What are you going to tell Kai about me?” she asks, and I’m suddenly wide awake.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, how are you going to explain me to him when he gets older? He’ll see me in pictures and will assume I was a major part of his life. I just want to know what you’re going to tell him.”
She’s serious, and I can’t think of what to say.
“Are you assuming you won’t be able to tell him yourself?” I ask.
“Well, maybe?”
“You’re going to tell him because I’m not letting you go. Ever.” I can’t picture Kai’s life without Sam in it. And I can’t picture my own without her next to me.
“We’re family,” I say to her, and she sucks in her breath.
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I just said. We’re family. You’re not just Kai’s nurse. You helped him heal, and you love him as if he were your own. So, yeah. Family.”
She smiles through happy tears and snuggles next to me.
“I want to know more about your family,” she says. “Your parents are great. I want to know more. Do you have aunts, uncles, cousins?”
“My parents are amazing. Mom and Bill have given me a great life. They supported my dreams of becoming a musician and never once questioned my choices. They helped create a stable and loving home that was torn from me when my father left so many years ago. I didn’t realize until recently how lucky I am to have them in my life.” I pause and reflect once again how lucky I am to have them. “My mom’s family is huge. I have four uncles and about a dozen cousins, all living in North Carolina. I’m glad they’re all so close to each other down there.”
“That’s amazing. You’re lucky to have all of them.” Sam met my parents about two months ago. I could tell that my mother adored her, and she kept throwing looks my way. I think she could sense something I wasn’t yet aware of. She looks a little sad, and I hope the talk of my big family doesn’t upset her. I don’t even know anything about hers. Maybe she has cousins out there somewhere too?
“What about your family?” I ask.
“I don’t have a huge family like you. My mother was an only child, and my father’s only sister is Aunt Peggy. I miss my parents so much and I hold them close to my heart. My mother gave me so many gifts, but the most important gift she gave me was to give of myself to others. I know she’s looking down on me right now, thrilled that I’m a nurse. She always told me that I had a higher purpose and I never believed her until I took that oath in nursing school.”
She pauses to reflect on the love she has for her mother.
“When my father saved me from drowning, he also gave me the desire and push to be brave. He gave me the gift of unconditional love and understanding. His gift allows me to open my heart to anyone, and it gives me the desire to help heal. He was a wonderful man, and Heaven is a better place with him there.”
“I know you’re right,” I say, and realize that my father is probably in Hell.
“I’m sorry,” she says. “I don’t pretend my life was a fairytale when I was younger, but I have to believe in the gifts my parents gave to me in order to make sense of their deaths.”
“Can you tell me about it?” I ask, expecting she’ll decline.
“About their deaths?” she responds.
“Yes.”
“They were murdered.” She tenses next to me, and I softly run my fingers up and down her arm.
“I know. But how?” My morbid curiosity takes control as well as my sudden desire to take this awful memory from her forever.
She inhales deeply and says simply, “They were blown up in their own home by a deranged man looking for money and drugs.”
My head begins to spin as the reality of what she just said sinks in. “What?” I ask, and I’m not prepared to hear anything more. I sit up in bed and place my head on my knees. Her voice becomes distant and is replaced by Bill’s voice.
“He killed himself,” Bill says to me solemnly through the phone.