Emerge (Evolve Series #1)(67)

lagoon, had a candlelit dinner, you name it. Sleeping in the same bed every night wasn’t awkward at all; we tumbled in exhausted

every night and Dane was a perfect gentleman...almost annoyingly so. Those last few blazing kisses we shared on my birthday eluded

all too well how hot things could be with Dane.

“The Crew,” as I now refer to our group, is happy we’re back, and I brought each of them a pair of Mickey ears with their name

embroidered on the back. Sawyer also got a t-shirt and ball cap for his extra efforts. So after a whirlwind birthday, I’m settling

back down and things are going great.

Bennett and Tate are still going strong, and in a shocking twist, Sawyer, Zach and the twins seem to be a foursome; they’re

undecided on who’s gonna pair off. Dane, Bennett, Tate and I have bets placed, but that’s on the down low. I’m getting quite

close to Avery and Kirby. They’ve come over to hang a few times and I’m so happy to have friends on the team. It really helps

make it easier to accept that this is my team now; I can’t undo Kaitlyn’s treachery, but I can make the most of what I have.

I’ve seen Dane every day of the two weeks we’ve been back and I find myself looking forward to it from the moment I wake up each

morning. Some days he catches me before my first class, breakfast snack warm in his hand. A few other times he’s appeared to whisk

me off campus for a nice lunch. Perhaps my personal favorites are the evenings he’s waiting outside practice to drive thru for our

dinner after a long day.

I love how lighthearted and easy things are with Dane, but I can’t ignore the inkling eating at the back of the daze...I still

know so little about him, he’s disclosed almost nothing and I’ve laid my story bare. What does he do, in general, when I’m in

class? How does he ask me to stay over every night, which I always decline? Are his parents ever home? I have so many questions; I

want to know him better.

I need “meat” to a relationship, something worth sinking my teeth into, a foundation. Time spent together is empty if I know you

no better when you leave than when you walked in. Yes, I’ve loosened up a bit since being at college, but blind leaps of faith

will probably never be my strong point.

Talking or texting with Evan every day gnaws at my insides. I’m going home this weekend to spend some time with my dad and Evan

will be there after his game. I’m not sure where we stand at this point or what he’s anticipating and it’s the same story with

Dane. In fact, I’m not sure where I stand or what I want exactly. Have I chosen Dane over Evan? If so, how can I choose someone I

know so little about over someone who shares my skin? And if Evan was here at school now, would I choose him? Does Dane want to be

chosen?

At least Dane knows the Evan story. Talking openly with Evan about Dane this weekend is bound to be a shock to him. I’m planning

to just go with the flow and see how things play out, which is what Bennett says I should do, but I’m not okay with stringing two

hearts along, if that’s what I’m doing. I’m pretty sure Dane is into me on a serious level, and I think Evan still is, but I

wouldn’t bet an arm on either. And my own back and forth confusion, well, I’m getting sick of myself, frankly.

Physically—I want them both, but with Dane it’s definitely more primal, not to mention he’s actually physically here, which is a

pretty key component. Emotionally—I want them both, but obviously Evan and I go much deeper, it is different now, though, distance

has not been good to us. “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” my ass. Not stitching that little pearl of wisdom on a pillow

anytime soon. How about “absence makes the head dizzy and fills the heart with aching bewilderment.”

I have finally gotten some closure, which led to a marginal amount of inner peace, with the Kaitlyn scandal. I finally got up the

nerve to call her about a week ago to ask for an explanation, and she was all too happy to tell me about it. I knew she’d jump at

the chance to sound off; Kaitlyn doesn’t have a demure or reserved bone in her body. That fog I used to live in incontestably

extended beyond Evan, because I had no clue about the abhorrence Kaitlyn had been harboring.

She couldn’t contain the bitterness in her cruel words as she told me she was “sick of the poor, pitiful me act” and that I didn

’t deserve Evan’s devotion. In other breaking news, apparently I was a tease and secretly loved how Matt Davis crushed on me.

While I couldn’t get her to outright admit she’d orchestrated my fraudulent decline to UGA, she freely admitted how she’d “be

happy to watch over Evan now that you aren’t around to distract him with your bullshit act.”



Seriously, psychopath? Like Evan would want you after you showed your true colors; Evan doesn’t do evil. Somehow she failed to see

the flaw in her plan, because now she’s lost two friends and still will never have Evan. I’d be lying if I pretended it didn’t

and wouldn’t always hurt like hell. How could she have faked a friendship that I thought was so good? She meant the world to me

for so long and I was the person she hated with the fires of hell? It just doesn’t seem possible that I’m able to drive a car,