Electric Idol (Dark Olympus #2)(82)

“Talk to me,” he repeats. “I can’t fight what I can’t see.”

Oh gods, I really am falling in love with this man. I close my eyes and a single tear slips free. I can’t control how I feel—I’ve already more than proven that—but at least I don’t have to tell him. I don’t know how he’d react, and I honestly can’t stand the thought of coldness creeping into Eros’s eyes in response.

Instead, I choose a different truth. “I’m scared.”

He looks actually pained. “I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I should have expected her to strike like that, and I didn’t. It won’t happen again. I realize that you have no reason to trust me because of what I am, but…”

“Because of what you are,” I repeat. My fear welds itself into a fierce anger, the emotion so strong my entire body shakes. “What are you, Eros?”

He releases my wrist and takes a step back. The mirrors surrounding us show our images from all directions, and there’s something apt about that, but I’m too focused on the man in front of me to chase the thought down. He looks away, but his attention snags on the reflection in the nearest mirror and he grimaces. “You know what I am.”

“Indulge me.”

His lips curve, but his eyes aren’t happy. He flings a hand at the mirror to his right. “Failure.” The mirror to his left. “Murderer.” The one behind him. “Monster.”

“Eros,” I whisper. He’s talked about being a monster more than a few times, and while I can admit that his past actions have been monstrous, I hate that he takes all the blame for it and ignores the conditions that brought him to that point. I can’t change his mind. I’m not even sure if I should try.

But after what happened in that parking garage, I can’t help but want to.

“You can’t leave.” He matches my low tone. “I’m sure you don’t want to see my face right now, but this is the only place in Olympus I know you’re safe from my mother. So… Please. Please don’t leave.”

“Eros,” I repeat. “Would you like to know what I see when I look at you?”

He flinches. This cold, arrogant man flinches at my question. “I suppose it’s the least I can do after everything I’ve put you through.”

Oh, Eros.

I slip my hand into his. He’s so tense, I can tell he’s fighting not to pull away from me, to retreat to something resembling a safer distance. I turn us to face the mirror next to the front door. Eros is trying to shut down his expression, but he still looks pained as I take a deep breath. “I see someone loyal.”

His hand spasms in mine. “Psyche—”

“I’m not finished.” I turn us one mirror to the right. “I see someone ambitious.”

“I don’t know if that’s really a virtue,” he mutters.

But he allows me to move us to face the next mirror. “I see someone both clever and intelligent.”

“Those are the same things.”

“They’re really not.”

He gives me a tormented look. “Why are you doing this?”

Because I love you. I swallow hard. “Because you have only been told the negative about yourself for so long, that’s all you believe. Every person contains a balance of both good and bad inside them. Even you. Especially you.”

“Psyche…” He looks down at me like he’s never seen me before. “I don’t deserve you.”

That fierce feeling inside me gets stronger. “I think we’ve established that I’m a flawed human being, the same as you.”

“No. Not the same.” He turns me to face the mirrors and steps behind me. We look good like this, even with him a little wild around the eyes and me shaking like a leaf. I never would have lined us up as a couple that fits, but our time together has more than proved me wrong.

Eros winds my hair around a fist, his eyes never leaving mine. “Do you know what I see when I look at you?”

I open my mouth to make a joke, but the words die before they leave my tongue. I lick my lips. “This isn’t about me.”

“Wrong, beautiful girl. It’s always been about you.” He drags in a breath, and I can feel the fine tremors in his body where he presses against my back. Eros speaks so softly, I almost miss the words. “I see a woman I don’t deserve, but you make me want to be a better man so that one day I might deserve you. I see a goddess.”

I turn in his arms. The words I promised myself I wouldn’t say bubble up, and I do the only thing I can think of to keep them inside. I kiss him. The moment my lips touch Eros’s, it’s as if something explodes between us. He uses his hold in my hair to tilt my head back and take the kiss deeper. I will never, ever get enough of kissing Eros. He turns it into an art form, an intoxicating connection that goes straight to my head.

He breaks the kiss long enough to say, “I need you, Wife.”

“Yes.” I grab the hem of his shirt and push it up and over his head. “I need you, too.”

“You have me.” But he grabs my hands, stopping me from undoing the front of his pants. “Wait. Condom.”

That’s the smart, rational thing to consider, but I don’t want to be smart or rational right now. “I know we said we wouldn’t make this decision in the heat of the moment, but I don’t want to use a condom.” I hesitate. “Unless you want to.”